I Have My Quirks, How Bout You?

Before I get into today’s expose’ on my silly quirks- In last week’s anti-barefoot blog I forgot to list one weird memory from almost 40 years ago.  In my local newspaper’s police reports page, there was a guy who was arrested at a local park for trying to get young boys to remove their shoes so he could smell their toes!  I knew of this guy but not personally and at the time he lived just two blocks from me.  I even sent that news story into Larry Lujack’s Police Beat bit on WLS.  Larry tried to sound serious when reading these stories but the toe sniffing tale cracked him up big time!  I wonder whatever happened to that foot freak.  Did be become a podiatrist?  Maybe he manages at a Foot Locker store? Who knows? 

A GUY WHO LIVED NEAR ME WAS ONCE ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO SNIFF THE TOES OF LITTLE KIDS. UGH!

On to this week’s previously scheduled blog-

We’re all individuals.  Everyone has their specific tastes, likes, hates, ways we do things and ways we’d never do things.  An episode of ‘Friends’ showed quirky Ross Gellar would never exit a hotel room until the very last minute before check-out time. Ross was determined to get every penny’s worth out of the room rental fee and would take home all possible items he could like towels, soap, other bath items, pens and paper, mints at the front desk, etc. 

ROSS GELLAR FROM ‘FRIENDS’ HAD THE QUIRK OF GETTING ALL HE COULD OUT OF EACH STAY AT A HOTEL.

Now here are some of MY personal quirks.

 I have not vomited since early February of 1991.  That’s 28 and a half years and still going pukeless. I remember my last heave because it occurred when I was producing the Murphy in the Morning radio show at Q-101 and a bad flu bug hit me hard.  Right before we got on the air at 5:30 a.m. I rushed to the restroom and got sick. After a few minutes of recovery and clean-up I tried to soldier on.  Twenty minutes later I had to make another urgent sprint to the toilet to hurl. It was obvious I had to leave the show and go home early.  It’s the only time in my radio career that I ever had to leave like that.

GOING OVER 28 YEARS WITHOUT THROWING UP ONCE IS A STREAK I HAVE GOING.

I always sleep with my television on.  Even if I wake up in the middle of the night, I may take a wiz but when returning to bed the tube stays on.  This has been my habit ever since I first got a TV in my bedroom at age 10.

SLEEP EXPERTS RECOMMEND NOT DOZING OFF WITH THE TV ON. STILL, THAT’S WHAT I DO EVERY NIGHT.

Forget that I’m a 58 year old man, I never ever use a tablespoon to eat anything, . Cereal, oatmeal, soup, peas, mashed potatoes, etc. are only eaten with a teaspoon. A table spoon seems just too big and almost desperate to me.

I cannot eat breakfast at home or anywhere else AFTER I’m dressed for the day.  Maybe I’m worried about spilling food on my clothes but it just can’t be done.  Even when staying at hotels, if there’s a breakfast buffet to enjoy, I eat in shorts or sweats & T-shirt then go back to my room to shower and dress for the day.

EATING BREAKFAST WHEN CLEANED UP AND DRESSED FOR THE DAY? NO CAN DO.

When getting my hair-cut, I keep my eyes closed throughout the whole process. I’ll only open them when it’s time to check out how the near finished product looks.  This stems back to when I was a kid and my father (who owned a beauty shop) would cut my hair.  When my bangs got too long and dad snipped them off, some hair would drop into my eyes and face. I didn’t like that so I just took to keeping my lamps shut and have done ever since.  Brittany, my regular stylist at Sport Clips must think I’m nuts but that’s o.k.  I still talk and remain social during my hair-cuts.

MY EYES ARE ALWAYS CLOSED TIGHT WHEN GETTING A HAIR-CUT.

When traveling in my car I leave my driver’s side window at least partially open.  Even in the dead of a freezing winter, the heater can be blasting warm air but I still need at least an inch of open window happening.  I’m not normally claustrophobic but in my car I do need that burst of open air at all times.

Cubs pitcher Jon Lester has a physical/mental block about throwing a baseball to first place.  I don’t have that issue but for the life of me I can only put my shoes on starting with my right foot. I’ve tried to put on my left shoe or slipper or sock first but something stops me from completing that task. 

I MAY BE LEFT HANDED BUT I CANNOT PUT ON MY LEFT SHOE BEFORE MY RIGHT SHOE IS ON. IT’S A MENTAL/PHYSICAL THING I GUESS.

When opening mail I use a pair of scissors and neatly clip off the edge of one short edge of an envelope and pour the contents out in my hand.  Just ripping open an envelope with my hands is not going to happen.

With my wallet, my money is always arranged with the small bills (in order) in the front and facing the same way.  I hate getting change in bills handed to me upside down, backwards and in willy nilly order. Also, I never use a money clip.  What’s the point of a money clip if you have a wallet?

MY WALLET MONEY HAS TO BE ARRANGED IN ORDER WITH SMALL BILLS IN THE FRONT, FACING THE SAME DIRECTION AND NICE AND NEAT. O.C.D. ANYONE?

This next quirk is for convenience sake but I prefer to see all my movies during the first showing of the day. Number one, it’s cheaper but also there’s less of a crowd and fewer people rudely talking or texting during the film.  Plus I like walking out of a theater to my car and still having lots of daylight happening. Woody Allen talked of this in “Crimes and Misdemeanors” saying catching movies in the daytime feels like playing hooky.

SEEING THE FIRST MOVIE OF THE DAY MEANS CHEAPER TICKET PRICES, FEWER RUDE PEOPLE YAKKING AND TEXTING DURING THE SHOW AND LESS STICKY GUM ON THE SEATS AND FLOOR TO DEAL WITH.

Finally there’s the issue of attraction to the opposite sex. Number one, I am NOT an “ass man”.  Never have been, never will be. A woman’s rear is the last thing I even think about and our culture’s fixation with butts completely escapes me. (Blame that butt focus on Jennifer Lopez or those idiotic Kardashians, I guess) Obviously a woman’s sense of humor and intelligence are top issues for what I’m attracted to. As far as looks go, I have a penchant for women who have pronounced facial features like a defined jaw line and profile.  Think of Law & Order’s Mariska Hargitay or actress Rene Russo.  This attraction no doubt stems from the first women I ever knew in the ‘biblical’ sense had that kind of facial appearance. 

ACTRESS MARISKA HARGITAY HAS THE SHARP ANGULAR FACIAL FEATURES I FIND SO APPEALING. BLAME IT ON MY “FIRST.”

Now the trick is to find some woman crazy enough to put up with my stupid ass quirks.  Good luck with that one! 

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG- 25 years ago- Remembering one of the worst weeks of my life.

Explaining My Bare Foot Phobia

Most people who know me or have read my blogs are aware of how gross I find bare feet.  From the back heel of one’s two lower extremities to the tips of even the most neatly trimmed and slickly painted toenails, feet are God’s poorest creation.  Even so called ‘nice looking feet’ are not something I want to see. Veins, bony insteps, crooked or stubby toes that look like mini-cocktail weenie sausages turn my stomach.  I don’t even want to get in to how smelly they can be when wedged into leather shoes for a good part of the day. 

I think my foot phobia is rooted in the constant over-exposure of bare feet I’ve witnessed for decades.  I used to read People magazine every single week and over the years I noticed most celebrity profiles would include a gratuitous photo or two of the star in bare feet; the purpose being they have that ‘at home’ look.  I recall one particular shot of Harrison Ford wearing blue jeans and a dress shirt but he failed to put on shoes. Why the bare feet Harrison?  What the hell? These rich folks can’t afford a $150 pair of Nikes or even a $6 pair of socks? Folks, it’s a modern era, why does everyone want to walk around like they’re the Goddamn Flintstones?

HEY HARRISON! PUT SOME SHOES OR AT LEAST SOME SOCKS ON. PLEASE!

More over-exposure comes from folks (mostly women) who feel the need to wear toe bearing flip flops up to the time the first snowfall of the season happens. And in March when the air temperature climbs to just over thirty degrees these same women are breaking out those flip flops in anticipation and hopes of an early spring.

Then there are the ridiculous selfies people take when lying out on a lounge chair showing off their bare tootsies in the foreground with a swimming pool or lake in the background.  We get it! You’re relaxing in warm weather. This constant display of bare dogs just bred itself into disdain for me and disdain became disgust. 

YOU’RE ON VACATION AND HANGING OUT BY A POOL, WE GET IT! NOW LOSE THE FOOT SELFIES, O.K.?

Speaking of disgust, back in my WLS radio days I remember when a corporate boss named Norm Schrutt came to the station for a visit. He was about to take control of the whole operation and in the first hour of being in our offices Schrutt was parading around in his suit but also bare feet!  I don’t know what happened to the guy’s shoes or socks but I found that behavior to be weird and yes, gross.

In my country radio days I got to hang out with the lovely Deana “Strawberry Wine” Carter a couple of times. She was a friendly and sweet woman with loads of talent.  However, for years when Deana performed live in concert she did so in bare feet.  Come on Deana, what was wrong with sporting a nice pair of cowgirl boots?  The good news is I saw a recent TV appearance pic of Deana and she was wearing shoes.  Amen!

THANK YOU FOR PERFORMING WITH YOUR SHOES ON DEANA CARTER.

Writer-Director Quentin Tarantino is a well known foot fetish person. He’s talked about this in interviews and has displayed his fixation in movies like “Pulp Fiction” when John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson are talking about the intimacy of foot massages. More recently, in Tarantino’s new movie “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” many of the Manson following hippie chicks are seen lounging around their filthy commune in equally filthy bare feet. Brad Pitt picks up a hitchhiking girl who climbs in, peels off her sandals and props her dirty toes on the car dashboard. She then presses those dirty feet against the car’s windshield.  Why Pitt didn’t throw her out at that point is beyond me.

THIS SCENE IN ‘ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD” REALLY GROSSED ME OUT. FEET UP LIKE THAT WOULD GET THAT GIRL BOOTED OUT OF MY CAR.

I’ve also never understood the women’s fashion of the so called ‘peep toed’ shoes.  When I see a woman wearing those styles it looks like they’ve outgrown their footwear and a rebel elongated toe or two has pushed through the leather tip of the shoe.  Women might think those kicks with a hole in them are cute but to me they look low rent and lame.

SORRY LADIES, PEEP TOED SHOES AREN’T CUTE, SO TOSS EM OUT. I THANK YOU AND SO DO MANY OTHERS.

I hate to harp on just women; at least they TRY to make their dogs look good with pedicures and other treatments.  Men on the other hand can often be cited for neglecting to give their toenails even an occasional trimming.  Last year I was at a health test screening event and sitting in the waiting area we were required to take off our shoes and socks.  I did this and then noticed the man next to me was sporting long thick yellowed toenails.  Quickly I turned my head away as if I just saw a dead body. The guy’s big toenails looked like large sized Frito’s corn chips.  Avoiding throwing up on the spot was an attainable goal, but just barely.

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW GROSS A MAN’S PAIR OF FEET CAN BE. UGH!

One fellow barefoot phobic person is WGN Morning News co-anchor Robin Baumgarten. She’s made this clear during countless stories and on camera discussions.  I remember a show segment where they featured a guy who prepared sandwiches with his bare feet. He used his curled up toes to pile up bread, meat, pickles and mayo. When the sandwich was complete a show staffer grabbed it and took a bite. Robin was about to wretch as was I.  Another time, Around Town reporter Ana Belaval was doing a live shot from a hot yoga studio with men and women in a sweaty room doing moves on their mats while in their bare feet.  Just before Robin said it out loud I thought, “Ew gross, lots of bare feet in there!”  Great minds think alike right? 

My song parody pal Al Flash and I even came up with a Robin foot phobia parody to the old song “Bare Footin’.”  Check it out here.

All this talk and sharing of video and photos of feet is making me queasy,.I think it’s time I go lie down, and I’ll keep my feet under the covers.

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG– My foot phobia isn’t the only chink in my personal armor.  I’ll share a few more of my quirks, but they won’t be gross like this posting was.

Eddie Will Always Be ‘Money’ To Me!

The news of singer Eddie Money’s passing, while sad to hear also brought a sly smile to my face.  That smile comes from a short chat Eddie and I had back in the early 90’s when we had him as an in studio guest on the Murphy in the Morning Show at Q-101.

EDDIE MONEY WAY BACK IN 1978.

At all radio stations where I worked, one of my tasks as producer was to record promo announcements or so called I.D.’s from any celebrity we had in for visits.  Over a twenty year period I sat across a studio recording board from countless famous people. Everyone from Peter Frampton, Jerry Seinfeld, Evel Knievel, Bo Diddly and Cindy Crawford to Brooks & Dunn, Dolly Parton, Sam Kinison,Dennis De Young, Trisha Yearwood and Glenn Frey and many more.  Most of the promo liners were written by me so I got to ‘collaborate’ with lots of big time names.   But I digress. Let’s get back to one former New York Police trainee named Eddie Mahoney who left a career as a potential cop and morphed into singer and classic rock radio staple Eddie Money.

After Eddie’s on air interview with Murphy, I escorted him into a production studio and had him record a couple of show promos for Murf and Q-101. Once the quality of those tapings was checked out I usually had a little time to talk with the celeb on hand and with Eddie there was a memory to share with him.

I told Mr. Money about an insane 1978 New Year’s Eve I had at age 17 down in Fort Lauderdale when there with four buddies. What Eddie got from me was how one of his songs was the kick-start to all the fun we had that night and I owed him for that.  My story to the singer lasted just a minute or two but I’ll share with you more of what went down.  It happened over forty years ago but the events about to be described are permanently locked in my memory’s hard drive.   

BACK IN 1991 EDDIE CAME TO Q-101 TO PROMOTE HIS “RIGHT HERE” ALBUM.

We rang in the New Year at a bar called The Ocean Mist Lounge and after the countdown to 12 midnight the first song the club D.J. played for 1979 was Eddie Money’s hit “Baby Hold On”.  I think it was a dance mix because the song and our dancing went on for much longer than just the three minutes thirty of that cut.  

Since it was New Year’s, there were plenty of kisses to share with the women in this club.  And these were WOMEN; women in their early and mid to late twenties. Here my pals and I are these goofy clueless high school seniors mashing mouths with any lass who looked good in their Gloria Vanderbilt designer jeans, spiked heels and halter tops. Sure, I had kissed a few girls (again, girls my age) in the past on a couple of dates but this make-out marathon was a whole new ballgame.

There were other songs being played after “Baby Hold On” but it was that tune that launched me into a non-stop game of tonsil hockey with total strangers of the feminine gland.  Our partying took us out to the main drag of Fort Lauderdale and then things kicked into an even higher gear. The street was jammed New Year’s partiers and it seemed like every other car that slowly idled by us was loaded with three or four lovely honeys ready for some intense lip smacking.  So who was I to turn them down,.right?

EDDIE MONEY’S HIT “BABY HOLD ON” WILL FOREVER BE TIED TO THE MAKE-OUT A THON OF NEW YEAR’S EVE 1978.

We curbside Casanovas kept up the spit swap silliness with the Florida hotties for a couple of hours. (We may have done more than kiss but let’s keep this a PG-13 blog, O.K.?) One van I didn’t notice slowly rolled past us and my pal Dave Potter calmly reported, “That girl didn’t have any clothes on.” I sprinted to catch up to the van and sure enough the side panel door to this vehicle was open and inside sat a naked woman. Of course we had to exchange Happy New Year’s pleasantries and I just about died laughing at the craziness!
There was more fun to be had during our week in Fort Lauderdale (I came home with T-shirts from several of the bars we drank at) but that first night, launched at midnight by Eddie Money’s “Baby Hold On” was the lynchpin to the whole deal.
So Eddie Money I hope you rest in peace. You’re aces in my book. One of your early hits gave me an experience that will stay with me until I leave this earth. When recalling December 31st, 1978 with a giggle and smirk like the Delta Frat boys in “Animal House” after their toga party, I also think of another of your songs that is fitting, “I Wanna Go Back.”

ONE OF LAST PICS TAKEN OF EDDIE MONEY AS HE ANNOUNCED HOW ILL HE WAS. REST IN PEACE DUDE!

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG- The Rationale Behind My Barefoot Phobia.

Farewell to my ‘Summer Family’.

A PHOTO OF EAST END POOL SWIMMING ON THE LAST DAY OF THE SEASON WHICH WAS LABOR DAY.

This week the Elmhurst Independent was kind enough to print my farewell to the 2019 swim season at East End Pool.  For those who don’t get delivery of that paper, here’s what I wrote. 

Another season of swimming at East End Pool has ended and we are all left wondering where did the summer go?  The brutally cold polar vortex infused winter we endured this year made the 2019 summer swimming sessions a beacon of hope to look forward to.   

However, from Memorial Day weekend through Labor Day, pool goers were under a constant threat of cooler temperatures and rain which made us appreciate the few warm sunny days we got.  There was the three day run of ultra hot humid conditions in July, but after that stretch afternoons in the mid-eighties’ with little humidity almost seemed cold! Still, we adult swim ‘Regulars’ persisted. 

In the 2005 movie “Fever Pitch” Jimmy Fallon plays a school teacher and Boston  Red Sox season ticket holder who sits with the same fellow fanatics for every home game. While courting Drew Barrymore, Jimmy introduces her to these folks and says, “They’re my summer family.”  Well that perfectly describes me and my fellow swim regulars at East End Pool.  

FROM THE UNDERRATED MOVIE “FEVER PITCH”, JIMMY FALLON ROMANCES DREW BARRYMORE AND INTRODUCES HER TO HIS FELLOW RED SOX SEASON TICKET HOLDERS, OR AS HE CALLED THEM, “MY SUMMER FAMILY.”

Sadly we lost some of last summer’s regulars, one moved out of state to be closer to her grandkids, one had to move to a nursing home and another passed away.  We missed these good people and yet there were new friends who became part of the family and we’re always ready to welcome more. 

There’s something soothing about the communal gathering in the waters of East End Pool.   It’s a daily social event and a great thing to look forward to during my teacher’s summer break. While getting in some exercise we share news on what’s going on around town and there’s the banter about everything else from baseball to reviews of new movies and concerts.   I only wish our time in the pool could last longer than a little over three months.

As usual, the staff at East End did a fine job in keeping up the pool and providing a fun and safe place for people of any age to enjoy. 

So now the gates are closed, the water will be drained and we’ve got almost nine months to wait to get back into East End Pool.  Like many others, I’m hoping for a less wicked winter and a warmer and sunnier 2020 season. I look forward to more time spent with my summer family.

WHEN THE EAST END POOL SWIM SEASON ENDS, THAT MEANS SUMMER IS OVER FOR ME

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG– EXPLAINING MY BARE FOOT PHOBIA.

How I Spent My Summer Break

THIS ISN’T ME IN THE WATER. I DON’T NEED A RAFT TO FLOAT ON MY BACK.

Six weeks of summer break from teaching is about to end.  On Monday August 12th I go back to school for three days of orientation. Then we have the kids back in class for two days before the weekend.   As you can imagine, the time off flew by.  So here’s some of what I was up to.

Despite squirrelly weather with frequent threats of rain I spent most days at East End Pool. Hanging with my fellow adult swim regulars was the usual good time. However we lost one older swimmer who passed away over the winter, one had to be moved to an assisted living facility and another moved to Minnesota to be closer to her daughter and grandkids.   Still, there were newer swimmers to meet and the sun and splash of the pool proved to be as enjoyable as ever.  My skin got nicely bronzed and I hope to keep this tan until Thanksgiving.
I kept my vow to not wear long pants once, not even jeans and only wore gym shoes on two different occasions.  The rest of the time it was shorts, swim shorts, t-shirts, slides and flip flops.  It was right out of a song by Jimmy Buffett or Kenny Chesney.

ENJOYING THE CLEAN WATERS OF EAST END POOL WAS MY MAIN OCCUPATION FOR THE SUMMER.

There was plenty of Cubs and White Sox baseball to watch on TV and I found myself giving Netflix a one month free trial.  I binge watched all seasons of “Stranger Things” and caught documentaries like the one on the failed Fyre Festival and “Twenty Feet from Stardom” about career back-up singers.  I also watched all of Jerry Seinfeld’s new season of “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee”, plus his special “Jerry Before Seinfeld.” Next, it was multiple comedy concerts from Sebastian Maniscalco, John Mullaney, Jim Gaffigan and I’m probably going to hell for laughing at the wickedly cruel wit of Anthony Jeselnik.  Yow!       

Plain and simple I can’t keep Netflix because there are just too many things to watch on that set-up. Netflix keeps me from doing other things like eating, drinking, sleeping and cleaning myself.  Put it this way, I already watch too much TV and having Netflix options at my fingertips is like asking R. Kelly to teach Sex Ed to teenage girls. 

NETFLIX AND ITS MANY PROGRAM OPTIONS IS A BAD TEMPTATION FOR ME AND I CANCELLED MY SUBSCRIPTION. OTHERWISE I WOULD JUST VEDGE OUT ON THE COUCH ALL DAY.

There were only two movies I saw in theaters. The Beatles never existed comedy “Yesterday” and Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.” I liked both of them but felt Tarantino’s movie dragged a bit.  Still, he DID capture the mood and feel of 1969 pop culture in movies, music and TV.  Quentin Tarantino makes movies people talk about and debate and that’s a real gift.

THE MOVIE TO SEE THIS SUMMER WAS “ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD”. I WAS THERE THE FIRST FRIDAY IT OPENED.

Later this week I’m looking to see a couple of late summer films; the Springsteen inspired “Blinded by the Light” and the raunchy “Good Boys.”  There are also two upcoming dramas I want to catch when they hit the local screens and both feature comedian Jim Gaffigan.  First there’s “American Dreamer” where he plays a bitter ride share driver turned kidnapper.  Then there’s this creepy snake handling religion film titled “Them That Follow.”  Check out the trailer for that one.

I ENJOY UNUSUAL MOVIES THAT SHOW ME NEW THINGS AND SEEING COMEDIAN JIM GAFFFIGAN IN THIS ONE SHOULD BE FUN.

I fell in love with the new country music Super Group comprised of Maren Morris, Brandi Carlile, Amanda Shires and  Natalie Hemby, they’re called “The Highwomen” which is a nod to the “Highwaymen” that featured Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson. The Highwomen’s debut album hits stores on September 6th

‘REDESIGNING WOMEN” IS THEIR FIRST SINGLE BUT I’M EVEN A BIGGER FAN OF “CROWDED TABLE.”

I took care of home chores like water sealing my back stairs, getting the gutters cleaned and having a burned out car tail light fixture replaced.  Plus a handyman stripped and re-caulked my bathtub and shower.

Still, I hope to get more things accomplished during next year’s break.  Staying away from Netflix will be a help. Between now and the summer of 2020 I want to get into better physical shape. Then again I said the same damn thing at the end of LAST summer so let’s see how that goes.  On the subject of breaking bad habits, I got into a new song from country singer Justin Moore that covers that struggle, it’s called “Some Day I Gotta Quit.”

“IT AIN’T NEVER GONNA HAPPEN SOME SAY, OH BUT SOMEHOW, SOME WAY, SOME DAY I GOTTA QUIT.” THOSE ARE POWERFUL WORDS FROM JUSTIN MOORE.

So if I were to rate this summer break, I’d give it the same grade I gave Tarantino’s “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”, a ‘B-’.  There sure is room for improvement and better summers.  Stay tuned for that.

LIKE THE TIDE ERASING THIS SAND GRAFFITI, MY SUMMER BREAK IS ENDING.

SPECIAL NOTE-MY HIATUS:

Our overpaid and underworked members of Congress are in the midst of a recess from doing nothing in Washington D.C. so they can do nothing in their home states.  With school starting up again and new students and plans to adjust to, I’m taking a few weeks off from blogging.  I’ll be back with a new posting on Monday September 30th..

Until then, you can still see and read my daily thoughts and opines on Facebook.

Mike Masse: Master of Classic Rock

MIKE MASSE IS BUILDING A REPUTATION FOR BEING A SPOT-ON INTERPRETER OF CLASSIC ROCK SONGS IN AN ACOUSTIC STYLE.

This Saturday August 10th Mike Masse plays a concert at the Victory Gardens Theater, 2433 N. Lincoln Avenue Chicago Illinois.  Tickets are $30 plus fees. All ages are welcome.  More info at https://victorygardens.org/#

So now you’re saying, “Who the hell is Mike Masse?” Fair enough.  I’ll share what I know about him.  Mike Masse is a YouTube star with millions of views of his work.  Now some folks gain fame on that site by doing stunts like the cinnamon challenge. Then there’s the daughter of my pal Al Flash who made a video of herself putting 100 layers of glue on her face. That little trick garnered a huge YouTube fan base that has earned her some pretty righteous bucks. 

Rather than doing something crazy stunt video that goes viral, Mike Masse plays acoustic versions of classic rock songs.  He’s covers songs from Abba and the Beatles to U2 and Neil Young and everything in between.  Many of Mike’s songs were recorded at a pizza place in Utah where he played on Monday nights.

Now you’re thinking there are hundreds of thousands of people uploading their covers of songs on YouTube, so what’s so special about Mike Masse?  Good question.  My first guess is the guy is a very accomplished guitar player and singer who instead of imitating the artists he covers, just pours out his interpretation of these well known songs.   My second observation would be Mike and his buddy put forth a comfortable vibe with no pretenses, just a couple of players who want to share some well classic hits with friends. 

MIKE MASSE (RIGHT) PLAYING WITH BASS PLAYER/CO-SINGER STERLING COTTAM.

How many friends are they sharing music with?  The Mike Masse cover of Toto’s “Africa” has just under 13 million views.  Yes, you read that right, 13 million views and it even earned them an interview on the WGN Morning News when Masse came to Chicago for a show a couple years ago. 

From what I’ve read on his website, Mike Masse and his family now live in Denver.  He was a successful public defender for years.  However demand to see live shows in the U.S. and even Europe has transformed him into a full time musician.  You can read more about his story at mikemasse.com

I could say more but would rather take the smart route and share links to Mike Masse’s music.  I plucked out a few of my favorite covers and if you keep your ears and mind open, I know you’re going to enjoy them like I do.  William Shakespeare once said, “All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players.”  With YouTube that is so accurate.  Play on Mike Masse.

ABOVE IS MIKE MASSE PLAYING TO HIS FANS. BELOW YOU’LL FIND LINKS TO SOME OF HIS BEST ACOUSTIC COVERS. YOU’LL FIND MORE ON YOU TUBE AND ON HIS WEBSITE. MIKEMASSE.COM

AFRICA-     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLrC7e3vSv8

LONG TIME https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1jriAJ1KXw

DON’T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB762zPFh6c

MORE THAN A FEELING  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0rQ_XSlc9g

NEXT WEEK: A review of my 6 week summer break.

Happy Birthday Trouble!

HATS OFF TO THE BIRTHDAY BOY, ‘TROUBLE’ THE CAT.

My cat Trouble turns 14 this week so I thought I’d write a tribute to my feline friend.  My mother and I picked out this one year old neutered domestic short haired cat at the DuPage Animal Shelter in late July of 2006.  They had a senior’s adoption special going on and since our new cat’s papers were signed by mom, the total fee to take him home was only one dollar! 

Trouble’s shelter name was ‘Chase’ and when we said yes to his adoption the whole facility was abuzz with exclamations of “Chase is going home! Chase is going home!”  The good folks at the shelter were really thrilled we picked out this little fella. They almost seemed over-excited, especially since we’ve rescued other animals from there and I don’t recall them going so nuts for another critter finding a furever home.

We gave Trouble his name because for the first day and a half of being at our house he hid.  We had no idea where he went until I lifted up a love seat and saw a sagging in the material ticking. I touched it and realized our new cat stashed himself up inside the furniture.  I laughed, pulled him out and held his furry face to mine, gave him a hug and gently put him down.  After that, he realized neither me nor my mom meant him any harm.  Still, a few minutes later he jumped on a shelf and knocked over a clock encased in glass that shattered into a thousand pieces. Our new resident then went on to tear up some papers on the dining room table.  I looked at my mom and said. “This one’s gonna be trouble” and with that we had his name.

For his first 4 years at my house Trouble shared the place with our pure white kitty named Dudley.  They got along O.K. and even sat together at times. However Trouble would never come into my room because Dudley had a little bed set up in the corner and our newcomer didn’t want to infringe on Dudley’s space.  I still don’t think Dudley would’ve minded.  In May of 2010 I had to put Dudley to sleep because of failing health due to old age. Only after then did Trouble ever come into my room.

WHITE HAIRED DUDLEY ON THE LEFT AND TROUBLE ON THE RIGHT LOOKING OUT OUR FRONT WINDOW.

Trouble was really my mom’s cat and his mornings were spent sitting on her lap as she read the paper or watched TV and had her coffee. He also slept with her at night and lounged on mom’s bed during daytime hours. My mother passed away in October of 2009. After that, his morning routine was permanently changed. There were times when Trouble would look out our front window for hours at a time and I wondered if he was waiting for my mom to come back home.
Trouble LOVES looking out windows and in the warm weather he’ll lean against the screens and sniff at the winds and outdoor aromas. He’ll also squawk out birdlike noises trying to attract birds with his mimicry. They never buy it. Still, this kitty has no interest in going outside at all, never. He’s the first cat I’ve ever had who is content to stay indoors exclusively.
Planted on a desk at the living room front window, Trouble will growl and hiss every day at our mailman. He also does this at anyone else who comes to the door. It’s like he’s a guard cat yet the minute anyone comes IN the house Trouble runs and hides. I have no idea why he shows such aggression to approaching strangers.
My guy Trouble has other quirks. At breakfast he inhales his quarter can of Fancy Feast in mere seconds. Trouble also loves bacon! The first time I brought home a McDonald’s bacon, egg and cheese bagel he came running and wouldn’t stop crying until I gave him a full strip of bacon. I never had a cat who craved bacon. When I pick up a take-out breakfast from Mr. G’s I always order bacon so it can be shared with Trouble.
When getting dressed each morning I’ll be sitting on my bed and Trouble comes jumping up and meows waiting to be petted and rubbed. He’ll nuzzle his face against my hands and won’t leave until he gets a good five minutes of undivided attention. Some of that must come from him missing the morning hang out routine with my late mother.

LIKE MOST CATS, TROUBLE ENJOYS FINDING BOXES TO COZY UP INTO AND LOUNGE AROUND.

At night when I’m sitting at my desk surfing the net or writing, Trouble perches himself atop my easy chair as he looks over all that I’m up to.  He’s a great companion though his shyness keeps those who visit me from getting to know him.  When it’s time for bed, Trouble bunks near my feet but he never likes to be covered up with any blankets.  Sometimes when I nap I’ll wake up to find his furry face curled up tight against my chest.  Other times in the middle of the night I’ll hear Trouble sprinting through the house in the dark.  I have no idea what the former ‘Chase’ is chasing but it sounds like an intense time.

Three years ago Trouble had a little urinary tract infection that was healed in a week thanks to medication. Other than that, he’s been a trim, healthy and problem free cat. I’ve thought about adopting a companion for this kitty but he’s kind of set in his ways and doesn’t seem to be wanting for anyone new to join the household.  So we continue on, me and Trouble. I wish him a happy fourteenth birthday with hopefully many more birthdays to come. Meow!

I CALL THIS PIC, “LORD OF THE MANOR.”

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG- A concert of cover songs you should check out!

My Push for an Eagles Biopic…

1971- THE ORIGINAL EAGLES LINE-UP OF BERNIE LEADON, RANDY MEISNER, DON HENLEY AND GLENN FREY.

With the recent critical and box office success of “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “Rocket Man” it’s natural to wonder who are some other rock stars or bands that would make good subject matter for a big screen feature. 

The best movies about famous stars need several facets of drama.  With singers and musicians we’re talking about conflicts with coming from nowhere to mega-stardom and having issues with parents and or lovers at the start of their story.  Next, you put into the script the big break that makes someone a star and toss in the ‘coping with fame’ element and of course sex, infidelity and problems with drugs and alcohol.  There’s also the requisite drop in fame and stature because nobody stays on top forever (except for maybe Taylor Swift) and jealousy and betrayal within the band or the inner circle of the artist. 

So here’s my pick for the next rock star movie to be about the Eagles. Now two disclaimers.

Disclaimer #1– Yes I am and always have been a big Eagles fan, but I’ll get to my reasoning. 

Disclaimer #2. Some might say there’s already been an acclaimed documentary about the band titled “The History of the Eagles.”  True enough. However, if you watch that two part DVD you learn the overall story about what this group went through but it’s not acted out in dramatic fashion.  There is more to any story than just some interview clips covering basic history and the Eagles have plenty of history that can be delved into and presented in a more dramatic movie form.

First, you have the meet up in L.A. of Glenn Frey from Detroit and Don Henley out of rural Texas.  They abandon previous music work to be Linda Ronstadt’s back-up band and then move on to form their own group.  The Eagles’ success grows steady, Don ‘Fingers’ Felder joins up to add a more rocking edge to their music then Bernie Leadon gets fed up with the the crazy star lifestyle, dumps a beer on Glenn Frey and quits. Not too long afterwards, Joe Walsh becomes an Eagle. Next, the landmark “Hotel California” album launches the band into monster fame and fortune. Next up, their drug and alcohol intake increases. Then there’s the pressure to equal the success of the Hotel California album and more inner band fighting than anyone can believe.

HOTEL CALIFORNIA DAYS- LEADON LEFT THE BAND, DON FELDER HAD BEEN A MEMBER FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS ALREADY AND WILD MAN JOE WALSH WAS NOW AN OFFICIAL EAGLE.

Let’s not forget the infamous Long Beach concert for Senator Alan Cranston where Glenn Frey and guitarist Don Felder get into an onstage verbal fight that goes on to a near post-show throw-down.  Next the band splits up for 14 years. Henley and Frey put on solo careers but it’s not all a smooth ride and Joe Walsh’s substance abuse damn near kills him.  Then you have how the Eagles reunited in 1994, Walsh gets clean & sober and the group tours endlessly to make more money than ever before. Felder gets kicked out of the band and sadly in 2016 Glenn Lewis Frey dies after battling multiple illnesses.  Plus you have Frey’s son Deacon and Vince Gill joining the latest incarnation of the group. 

THE LATEST INCARNATION OF THE EAGLES- DON FELDER WAS LONG GONE AND WITH GLENN FREY DECEASED HIS SON DEACON JOINS THE GROUP AS DOES VINCE GILL

There’s plenty of material here that could be dramatized in a movie. And now I’ll present who I would cast in a movie about the Eagles.

DON HENLEY
HENLEY CAN BE PLAYED BY ACTOR ROBERT PATRICK.
THE LATE GREAT GLENN FREY-
JAKE GYLLENHALL CAN PLAY FREY.
MADMAN NOW TAMED JOE WALSH-
CAN BE PORTRAYED BY OWEN WILSON.
GUITARIST DON FELDER-
COMIC ACTOR T.J. PATRICK COULD COVER THE LOOKS AND ACTIONS OF FELDER.
BASS PLAYER TIMOTHY B. SCHMIDT-
ACTOR BILLY CRUDUP WOULD BE CAST AS SCHMIDT.
I’M SEEING RANDY MEISNER BEING PLAYED BY-
ASHTON KUTCHER WHO WOULD HAVE TO GROW OUT HIS HAIR OR WEAR A WIG.
ORIGINAL EAGLE BERNIE LEADON SHOULD BE PLAYED BY-
ACTOR SETH ROGAN.

So there you have my casting for an Eagles biopic. Now it’s up to Hollywood to roll up to the Hotel California with my ideas.

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG: Happy Birthday to ‘Trouble.’

Geeking Out

“We’re through being cool, we’re through being cool, eliminate the ninnies and the twits.’  ( Devo)

DEVO AS THEY PROMOTED THEIR “NEW TRADITIONALISTS” ALBUM BACK IN 1981.

The Urban Dictionary defines “Geeking Out” as “…freaking out over something that could be considered nerdy and knowing it.”  I might add to that, you also DON’T CARE that you’re geeking out.  Worrying and focusing on things that are ‘hip, trendy and happening’ is a folly I gave up on years ago. So with unabashed pride, I present to you some of the things I “Geek out” over.

My summer hair-cut has been the same for seventeen years.  I go to Sport Clips and ask for a buzz cut just one notch longer than a crew cut.  It’s not super stylish or suave but it is cool temperature wise, comfortable and requires little maintenance.  I get this cut at the end of May and usually repeat it in early August.  I’ll take comfort over a jelled up, slick combed style any day of the week!

THERE’S NOTHING COOL ABOUT A BUZZ CUT EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT IT KEEPS ME FROM OVERHEATING IN THE HOT SUMMER MONTHS.

Hanging out at East End Pool’s Adult Swim Sessions isn’t really geeky, especially since the adult swim regulars have become friends and they are far from nerdy.  Nobody puts on any pretense. Our talking topics while puddling around in the water range from sports and news of what we’re doing to music and where the good places are to eat & drink in the summer months.  However, I will grant you my summer hang is not as trendy as lounging at the East Bank Club pool or Oak Street Beach. Still, the camaraderie of this place is just fine by me, no need to be “cool” while having fun under the hot sun.

ELMHURST’S EAST END POOL ISN’T EXACTLY A HIP PLACE LIKE A CHICAGO HOTEL ROOFTOP WATER OASIS BUT IT DOES FINE BY ME.’

Keeping baseball scorecards at home.  This one falls into the sports nerd category.  Anytime I’ve ever gone to a Cubs or White Sox game I always bought a scorecard and kept track inning by inning of what hitters and pitchers on both teams were doing during the game.  Since I don’t go to many games in person these days, I print up blank scorebook pages from online and meticulously track what goes on while watching the games on TV.  All plays from 6-3 (shortstop to 1st base ground-outs to backward K’s for hitters who get called out on strikes) are written down and tallied at game’s end.  I keep score of ballgames I’m watching about twice a week.  It’s cheaper than being at the game in person and besides not paying six bucks for a hot dog I also don’t have to stand in line to go pee in a men’s room trough.


SPORTS NERD. WHY NOT?  I LIKE TRACKING INNING BY INNING ACTION OF BALLGAMES I WATCH ON TV.

Karaoke singing off of You Tube. In the warm weather I keep my windows open with the screens down unless the heat gets unbearable and the AC has to go on.  So my next door neighbors get an earful of me surfing YouTube for good music beds to songs I want to belt out with my limited vocal abilities. I can easily blow two hours warbling aloud to everything from Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” to Badfinger’s “Baby Blue.”  You’ve heard the phrase “Dance like nobody’s watching?”  Well I sing like nobody’s listening.   

BELTING OUT KARAOKE SONGS FROM YOU TUBE IS A FUN WAY TO KILL AND HOUR OR TWO. SING LIKE NOBODY’S LISTENING.

Powerball Plans-When a Powerball game rolls over where a single winner could take home many millions of greenbacks I’ll plunk down 20 bucks on quick picks. Then I head home and write down on a ledger sheet what I’d do with a big money pay-off.  Ten percent of the money would go to favored charities. After that, I allocate for family, a couple of friends and then mark down what dollars would be spent for some fix-ups to my house and the new car I’d get along with maybe a silly spending spree or two. If I won crazy ‘Screw you’ money I’d either hire the Eagles to play my birthday party or host a double act show of Clint Black and Travis Tritt. I know the chances of winning the lottery are ridiculously low, but it’s fun to fantasize and map out what I’d do if it happened.

PLAN YOUR WORK AND WORK YOUR PLAN. I LIKE MAPPING OUT JUST HOW I WOULD SPEND A POWERBALL PAY-OUT OF MILLIONS.

Movie Man- When seeing movies at my local theater I almost always go to the first show of the day.  First off, it’s cheaper, second, there are no crowds so there’s quick service on my snacks and I don’t have to hear the chatter and jibber jabber of rude rookie cinema goers.  Also, I enjoy getting out of a theater and still having much of the day to enjoy.  Just as Woody Allen said in “Crimes and Misdemeanors”, seeing movies in the daytime feels like I’m playing hooky.  

THE FIRST MOVIE SHOWING OF THE DAY IS THE CHEAPEST AND BEST ONE TO GO TO. NO CROWDS AND AFTERWARDS I STILL HAVE LOTS OF THE DAY TO ENJOY DOING OTHER THINGS.

Writing parody songs. If you’re on my e-mail list or see my Facebook page you know I write revised lyrics to hit songs and relate the new words to things happening in local sports and pop culture.  These parodies are done with my good friend Al Flash who sings almost all of them (since he’s the tech and software genius) and we collaborate on ideas for the videos that go with them.  Our works get aired on the WGN Morning News show as anchors Larry Potash and Robin Baumgarten know us as “Mick and Al.  There’s no money involved in these 60 to 80 second parodies, we just like coming up with goofy shit.  I’m usually the instigator or starter of the parodies and have been known to wake up at 4 in the morning to get cranking on a new idea. The late Glenn Frey was known as ‘The Lone Arranger” and that title fits me too.  Al takes on the Don Henley moniker of “Golden Throat” and it all works out pretty well.

L-R, ME AND MY GOD FRIEND AND SONG PARODY PARTNER AL FLASH. WE’RE DON HENLEY AND GLENN FREY MINUS THE FAME AND FORTUNE.

A charter member of the Pop Culture Club.  Jim Turano is my longtime pal from Elmhurst College.  Besides acting in local plays Jim works in radio as a fill-in talk show host at WGN AM 720. Known as ‘Elton Jim’ for his lifelong dedication to Elton John (he’s been to over 190 EJ concerts) he has a feature called the “Pop Culture Club” and puts me on the air with him (on the phone) to discuss the latest trends in music, movies, and TV. Jim often does his air shifts between midnight and 5 a.m. and we usually do an hour together in the middle of that time slot. Turano and I have always had a great rapport and as much as we can yak for an hour on the air, off the air he and I can do a two hour phone call and still not cover all we want to share with each other.

ME AND COLLEGE BUDDY JIM TURANO BACK IN OUR WRSE FM DAYS AT ELMHURST COLLEGE. NOWADAYS WE CHAT IT UP WHEN JIM FILLS IN AT WGN AM RADIO. FROM 10 WATTS TO 50,000 WATTS, NOT BAD.

So there you have it; plenty of things I “Geek out” on and am not ashamed to talk about.  Life is about finding pleasures where you can and this stuff brings me plenty of that. 

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG–   The next musical act I want to see a movie made about.

Thanks John Eddie, from Marko and Me!

Singer-songwriter John Eddie turns 60 on July 9th. My longtime friend Marko Vasko and I owe serious thanks to this guy. So about now you’re probably saying,” Who the hell is John Eddie?”  Fair enough. In fact the Richmond, Virginia born rocker actually titled his 2003 album “Who the Hell is John Eddie?”  So allow me to give you some background on him.

WHO THE HELL IS JOHN EDDIE? WELL READ ON AND I’LL TELL YOU.

In the early 80’s, rocker John Eddie took his popular club performing act to New Jersey, and other eastern locales.  He signed a contract with Columbia Records and was seen as a potential ‘Next Bruce Springsteen’ artist.  John played alongside Bruce on occasion and members of the E Street Band played on his self-titled debut disc which came out in 1986.  

Marko Vasko and I became instant fans of that record. The lead single “Jungle Boy” reached #17 on the rock charts but there were other prime cuts that Columbia failed to mine off that release.  Songs like “Dream House”, “Pretty Little Rebel” and my favorite “Just Some Guy” evoked the passion and angst of a young man trying to make it with the girls and in life.  “Pretty Little Rebel” was also featured in a movie titled “Three for the Road” starring Charlie Sheen and his “Lucas” co-star Kerri Green.


THE SELF TITLED ‘JOHN EDDIE’ ALBUM WAS A DAMN GOOD ONE THAT COLUMBIA RECORDS FAILED TO GIVE ENOUGH SHINE TO.

So how does John Eddie factor into the lives of a Marko Vasko and yours truly?  I’ll share Marko’s story first.  As the late 80’s rolled into the 90’s and beyond, John’s music career saw some ups and downs with the changing of record labels, management and his progress toward the big time stalled.  Still, John Eddie was a well received club draw across the country including Chicago.

This takes us to the early 2000’s and Marko finds himself seeing John Eddie in concert as often as possible when he came to Chicago to play the renowned “Joe’s” on Weed Street.   John and his band would headline and sometimes open for up and coming acts like Miranda Lambert. Attending these shows Marko noticed a contingent of faithful John Eddie fans, two in particular, Yoli and her girlfriend Chris.  Yoli (the more vocal of the Eddie-heads) and Chris traveled to other states to see their guy play live.  They went to Texas, Ohio and New York for John Eddie performances.  When in Chicago, they occasionally drove him back to his hotel after some shows.

Marko introduced himself and got to know Yoli and Chris on a “Friends who have a common bond in John Eddie’s music” basis.  This went on for a period of time until one night in mid-January of 2008.  Marko was attracted to Chris and planned to ask her out. So after a few buckets of bottles of Coors Light they shared, he made his move. Chris says yes and they had their first real date a week later.  From there things moved fast. Two months into their dating, Marko knew Chris was ‘the one.’  (I think she kind of liked him too) They moved in together in 2010 got married in Hawaii in 2012 and have been very happy ever since. 

This “If it weren’t for John Eddie we’d never have met” story has been shared with the soon to be 60 year old rocker and he happily accepts credit for Marko and Chris’ wedded bliss.



MARKO VASKO AND CHRIS SHOWN AT THEIR HAWAIIAN WEDDING IN 2012. WEDDED BLISS THANKS IN PART TO JOHN EDDIE.

Now we get to where I owe John Eddie.  This goes back to the late summer of 1989.  John released his second album “The Hard Cold Truth” and was touring to promote it.  At the time I was producing the Miller and Howell morning radio show at Chicago’s WCKG 105.9 FM.  However, our show’s ratings were sinking and it became apparent that John Howell, Stephanie Miller and yours truly were just a few weeks away from being fired.  

In late August I was reading through the newspaper’s ‘Friday’ section and saw John Eddie was playing Poplar Creek Music Theater in Hoffman Estates that night. He was the opening act for The Bangles who were label-mates of his.  Marko and I had seen and met the Bangles before but we had yet to catch John’s live show and that is the only reason we decided to get tickets for this concert. 

We scored decent seats in the pavilion and rocked out to John Eddie’s hard pounding, high energy set. It was obvious he lives to play live.  So to kill time before the Bangles took the stage, Marko and I took a walk around the concourse and I ran into Dave Perlmutter, a promotions guy from my days at WLS AM radio. Dave was now the marketing director at WKQX or Q-101 FM as it was known.  Perlmutter told me their morning star Robert Murphy was looking for a second show producer and asked if there was anyone I could recommend for the job. Sure Dave, me!  I explained things were not going well at WCKG and Dave said he’d put the good word in for me with Murphy and the Q-101 bosses.

The next week I interviewed with Robert and while the move I was willing to make was a lateral one, having a radio job is better than not having a radio job.  A couple weeks later, the WCKG ax fell on Miller, Howell and me.  Our canning was reported in the next day’s Chicago Sun Times and later that day Robert Murphy called to offer me the job as his second producer. After working out salary details with Murphy and Q-101 program director Bill Gamble, I had the gig.  I took ten days off to catch my breath and prepare for a fun filled four year run producing morning radio at Q-101.

The bottom line being without John Eddie opening for the Bangles, Marko and I don’t go to that concert and I don’t run into Dave Perlmuitter who leads me to a new radio job.  So thanks John Eddie, if I ever meet you, I owe you a beer or two, at least!

AGAIN THANKS IN PART. WITHOUT GOING TO SEE JOHN EDDIE IN CONCERT, WHO KNOWS WHEN I WOULD LAND ANOTHER RADIO JOB!

John Eddie post-script– As he hits the age of sixty, John Eddie still writes songs and performs in clubs around the country. He’s a music lifer and players gotta play. Kid Rock has recorded several of John’s songs (which helps pay the bills) including the ‘I’m getting older’ song “Forty” and the bawdy “Low Life.”  Mr. Eddie also co-wrote “More Than Miles” with Brantley Gilbert who made that song a top 10 Country hit in 2012.   

I recommend you check out John’s music on You Tube. And the next time he comes to town, go see his show. You never know what effect John Eddie might have on your life. 

Here’s the link to a favorite song of mine, “Just Some Guy.”

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG-   It’s Cool to “Geek Out.”