Month: October 2019

On Facebook you often see people post up a survey checklist where you’re asked to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to specific questions about your life experiences.  The questions ask things like have you ever: Fired a gun, Ridden in an ambulance, Gotten a tattoo, Visited a foreign country, Sung Karaoke, Been scuba diving, etc. 

I guess these informal queries are a check to see what kind of life you’ve lived so far.  With all this said, I thought I’d pose some of my own questions.  So feel free to take my poll,.answer yes or no, and no cheating off your neighbor’s paper.

HAVE YOU EVER:

EATEN A WHOLE SLEEVE OF OREO COOKIES IN ONE SITTING?

DRIVEN DRUNK?

SNEAKED INTO ANOTHER MOVIE AFTER SEEING YOUR FILM AT THE CINEMA?

GIVEN THE FINGER TO ANOTHER DRIVER?

STOLEN SILVERWARE FROM A RESTAURANT?

PEED IN A PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL?

DONE THE WALK OF SHAME?

TALKED YOUR WAY OUT OF A TRAFFIC TICKET?

USED THE ACCOUNTS AND DESCRIPTIONS OF A TELEVISED GAME WITHOUT THE EXPRESSED WRITTEN CONSENT OF A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL CLUB?

NOT TIPPED A SERVER?

CRASHED A WEDDING?

HAD AN INTER-OFFICE ROMANCE?

SHAVED OR TRIMMED YOUR ‘FUN ZONE’?

WISHED SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW DEAD?

HAD A POOP ACCIDENT IN YOUR PANTS AFTER CHILDHOOD?

CHEATED ON A SCHOOL QUIZ, TEST OR EXAM?

LOOKED AT PORN ONLINE?

RE-GIFTED A PRESENT THAT WAS GIVEN TO YOU?

EATEN SOMEONE ELSE’S FOOD FROM THE WORKPLACE FRIDGE?

SWAM NAKED?

KEYED SOMEONE’S CAR?

QUIETLY FARTED IN A CROWDED ELEVATOR?

PAID FOR A LAP DANCE? (MALE, FEMALE, YOUR CHOICE)

AS AN ADULT, CRIED OVER YOUR SPORTS TEAM LOSING A GAME?

WATCHED AN ENTIRE EPISODE OF ‘KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS?’

FULL DISCLOSURE– I can answer “YES” to 20 of these 25 items. Which 20 I’ve done goes with me to the grave.  Sorry.

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG- A Halloween tradition I say ‘Boooo’ to.

“Old days, good times I remember, fun days, filled with simple pleasures.” (Chicago)

My 40^th high school reunion took place October 11^th and 12^th. I wanted to take a few days to gather my thoughts on what was a fantastic weekend hanging with my fellow Class of 79 pals.  

First off, the entire reunion committee did an amazing job in getting the word out on the weekend’s events. For several months they planned this deal down to the smallest detail. Countless e-mails, phone calls, social media postings, in person meetings and more helped set the foundation for all Class of ’79 grads to feel welcome and enjoy meeting up with old friends from way way back.  Those committee folks were incredible!

The attending alumni are 58 years old now and this reunion was like a time machine peep show that showed the physical transformations we’ve all gone through.  Some of my peers barely changed at all!  Most of those who look young as ever were women but there were a few guys who appeared to be barely 25 years old. Either these folks have great genes and took damn good care of themselves or they pulled a Dorian Gray and traded their souls for youthful looks.  (I’d bet on the former and not the latter on that one) 

Me?  Yeah I’m much fatter than my younger days but have no facial wrinkles and retained about 70% of my hair, albeit gray, but it’s still there. I can still lose weight but spouting new locks only happens in fantasies and the offices of hair transplant doctor’s offices.

Away from the superficial minutia, the two days of meeting, eating, drinking and laughs (lots of laughs) were a reminder of how lucky we were to know each other at York and often times for years before arriving to the home of the Dukes. Some of the friends there I’ve known since kindergarten and there was a great bond between many of us men who played in Elmhurst’s Little League Baseball program.  We all remembered what teams everyone else played on and those memories go back half a century!  Several former ballplayers remembered my pitching to be much better than it really was. So what’s wrong with the hands of time re-shaping history a bit, right?

Moving forty years past high school, all of us hit various milestones.  Marriages, divorces, kids, grandkids, knee and hip replacements and the passing of spouses were all covered.  Some alumni made changes in careers and appeared to be happy with their new paths taken.  I can tell you firsthand that it’s a blessing to have a ‘second act’ in life and who knows, maybe some of us have a third act to try as well.

On Saturday night, the most touching scene to take in was the photo display of classmates who’ve passed away.  After a requested moment of silence, classmate Father John Balluff read each deceased person’s name. There were gasps and stunned faces when the crowd heard of former peers who are no longer with us.  Father Balluff then offered a prayer for those departed and to those of us still here.  We’re all getting older and this was a sobering reminder.

Throughout the weekend I smiled when seeing all the warm embraces everyone was giving each other.  Of course the women are more open with their ‘happy to see you’ hugs and kisses, but we men were doing plenty of hugging it out too with each other. We’re talking about big bold bear hugs between men because after going through forty years of post high school life, simple firm handshakes or fist bumps just don’t seem to be enough.   

The best phrase I can come up with for this reunion weekend would be “Joyous Contentment.”  So many of the attending alumni glowed with remembering the days of high school and sharing with each other what’s gone on in their lives since graduation in June of 1979. There was plenty to cover!

It’s easy to equate our existence to the four seasons of each year. There are bright warm sunny days, rough dark storms and winters to endure and lots of adventures & misadventures throughout it.  What happens in the next ten years is anyone’s guess, but no matter what, those of us who are lucky enough to still be around will once again gather and laugh & remember the days we shared together in high school and beyond.

Until then I’ll wish my fellow former classmates the Irish word for ‘health’, Slainte!   

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG: Have You Ever?– A Checklist of Lifetime Achievements.

There was a time, three or four decades ago when tattoos were considered a sign of rebellion and bold individuality.  The rarity of those with tats made it a big deal when someone got inked.  Cutting to the chase, nowadays tattoos are as common as Starbucks shops and Mattress stores. 

Truth be told, with so many men and women from age 17 to 77 getting tattoos, the real rebels are people like me who remain tat free.  Everyone else is a follower and tattoo art may be individualistic, the bottom line is an ink wearer’s rebellion and showing how cool they are falls short.

FULL DISCLOSURE: My niece Dei has several tattoos. While I would never get a tattoo myself, Dei’s inked skin does not make me love her any less.  She’s always dear in my heart and mind and always will be!

So last week on Facebook I caught some flak for noting how a woman’s tattoo on her breast can in time not age so well.  My comment was “Today’s blooming rose on a young women’s breast is tomorrow’s wilted wed on an old lady’s stomach.” 

I was actually cited for shaming women. The issue a couple of Facebook acquaintances had being that I did not make any observations about men with tattoos that don’t age well.   I answer that by saying I could not care less what ink men get injected into their skin.  While not being a creepy stalker I openly admit to paying more attention to the looks of women than men.  This has nothing to do with homophobia. I fully support all men and women who prefer same sex lovers and relationships. It’s just that I prefer observing women over men.  So get over that!

 Now on this ‘shaming’ accusation; I wasn’t shaming women.  I just voiced my opinion.  My opinion being that the female body is a thing of beauty and putting tattoos on it is akin to slapping a bumper sticker on a Ferrari.  We still live in a free country and are allowed to state our beliefs.  Just because my taste or opinion on a matter is in disagreement with how others feel does NOT make me a shamer!  

This hyper-sensitivity people have on so many issues is really becoming a divisive problem in our culture. Social media is the wind that fans those misguided fires.  Today there appears to only be ‘lovers’ or ‘haters’ on topics and that kind of black and white thinking scares me.  We are at a point where if someone posts on social media how they “Didn’t like the new Taylor Swift song” there’s going to be a throng of backlash calling that person a ‘basher’, ‘hater’ or ‘shamer.’  Really? Are we that touchy?  And yes, Taylor Swift, I put a small bit of this touchiness blame on you.  “Haters are gonna hate”,.right?  Jeesh.  For the record, I’m an admirer of Taylor’s song “Lover” and 2016’s “Better Man”, the song she wrote for Little Big Town may be her best work ever.

Years ago when many people fawned over the hilarity of the TV series “The Office”  I came up with a kinder way of being critical of it without getting nailed as a hater. Regarding “The Office” I said, “It’s not for me.” Using this phrase doesn’t mean I hate something or rue the day someone watched “The Office”or got a tattoo or anything that extreme.  Lighten up folks. So when the subject of tattoos comes up I can simply reply, “It’s not for me.”    

And just to show how I can end this tattoo issue with a smile and whimsical statement, here’s an old song from The Who that we can all enjoy.

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG– Reflecting on my 40th high school reunion.

We all endure the losses of family members. My saddest times were in 1993 when my father died at the way too young age of 58, in 2009 when my mom suddenly passed from a heart attack and in 2014 when my sister Marianne succumbed after a long battle with an auto-immune disease of which there was no cure.  Those were the worst of times for me for sure.

However, there was a week in 1994 that affected me nearly as much as the death of my family members. It began on Monday October 10^th when I learned my longtime friend Lee Swanson was in the hospital with a recurrence of cancer he’d beaten in 1982.  This time cancer won and Lee left us the very next day.  I was able to visit him that Monday for about ten minutes and in a dreamy semi-conscious state Lee knew I was there for him.  I later learned I was the last person to talk to him before he slipped into a final coma.

Long story short Lee Swanson was a mentor and friend to me since 1981.  He was a fellow media junkie, local music businessman and a pre-Google era search engine. Anything I wanted or needed to know about writing, radio, music or DJ-ing dances was provided by him. His wisdom and guidance as I pursued a career in professional radio was invaluable.  I often said Lee was Yoda to my Luke Skywalker and there is no way I would’ve ended up producing the Larry Lujack WLS morning radio show at age twenty-four without his help.  He was also the older brother I never had.  And now for the first time in over thirteen years I was without my touchstone, Luke had lost Yoda. I was beside myself with hurt and grief.

At the time of Lee’s passing I was producing the JD & The Katman Morning Show at WUSN FM, known as US*99.  I knew JD & John ‘Katman’ Katzback for a few years before landing at their station. Since June of 1993 when I started there, John and I formed a tight creative bond doing show bits and having lots of fun on and off the air.  We had common sensibilities and cracked each other up constantly. Morning host JD Spangler used to say John and I were each other’s best audience. He was right!

On the same day of Lee Swanson’s death I gutted it out and attended a big radio station event that evening. I knew Lee would have wanted me to be there. We were celebrating the 5^th anniversary of the JD & Katman show with a concert and party at Chicago’s Whiskey River country music bar.  Listeners had to win tickets to this private show that starred Joe Diffie who was all over the country music charts at the time.  When I arrived that night, John Katzback was the first one to greet me, offering his condolences on losing my dear friend Lee. It was John’s night to have fun and celebrate and he’s consoling my hurt.  What a guy and what a great night that was! 

However, on October 12^th the afternoon after the hugely successful 5^th Anniversary bash, I got a call at home from my Program Director Dean Mc Neil. Dean informed me John Katzback had been stricken at home with a suspected brain aneurism and things looked bleak!  I was beyond stunned. Just the night before John’s health crisis we were having a blast at the Diffie show and a couple hours before McNeil’s call we wrapped up another solid morning show; now this?  It happened but it was crazy and felt like a bad dream that turned out real.

While The Katman was being treated at a suburban hospital, I attended Lee Swanson’s wake and the next day his funeral.  A couple days later came the call that John Katzback had passed away.  John was an organ donor so several living people benefitted from his generosity; but we were without our co-worker and friend.  All of the US*99 employees and thousands of listeners were left speechless over his death.  The guy was only twenty nine, leaving behind his wife Leslie and a six month old baby boy named Max.  I’d never seen such a cruel twist of fate and burden thrown at a new mother and her infant son.

I’ll always first think of others who were so hurt by Lee’s and John’s passing. But still, in less than a week I dealt with the one two punch of losing one of my best friends in Lee Swanson and then a ‘brother in sound’ in John Katman Katzback. During this wickedly difficult time, I kept my faith in a greater being but I wasn’t sure if I could trust the cosmic powers that be.  This was a devastating situation and I was lost, kind of like a rudderless boat, adrift and unsure where I was going.

So how does one get through such a crazy double dose of death? My solution was to become an ultra-social animal. I began dating three different women at the same time (one of whom I met at Lee’s wake) and also hung out with a couple of others, Dana and Sonja who were pals from my past.  My theory was ‘There’s strength in numbers and they can’t ALL die on me!’  I also huddled with my two oldest friends Bobbo and Marko who were great sources of support and kindness. My mother and sister were also there for me too. 

Throughout this new social whirl I remained numb with the hurt of Lee and Katman’s deaths just below my skin.  I kept wondering ‘Why them?’  Also ‘Why am I saddled with this double tap of loss?’  This sucks!

I ended that dating frenzy in early 1995 but it wasn’t until the spring of that year when I realized I had not yet processed losing Lee and The Katman.  I was too busy trying to avoid thinking about that grief.  It took me about four months after that to sort out my head and my heart.  This taught me a lesson to not put off dealing with the issues of loss.

So we’re twenty-five years past a truly awful week that I somehow got through. Some day things will come full circle and I’ll see Lee and John again. In spite of that difficult time in 1994, I know how lucky and blessed I am to have known them.  Special guys like Lee and John don’t come around every day and I miss them very much.

Here’s to better days and weeks for all of us.

Next Week’s Blog- A STINK MADE OVER BODY INK.