Little Known Facts About Me

A while ago on Facebook I posted a little known fact about myself.  So now I’ve decided to add in a few other little trivial spots on yours truly.  Some of my friends and family are aware of some of these things but I don’t think anyone knows ALL of them.  So here they are.

SOME FOLKS KNOW SOME THINGS ABOUT ME BUT NOT OTHERS. CHECK EM OUT.

** I have not thrown up, barfed, puked or hurled since February 5th 1991.  Back in the fall of ’93 I came close thanks to having appendicitis but ended up holding in my soup.

** My front four upper teeth are capped.  They have been since 1981.

** Back in 1974 I entered and won a ‘Name that New Park’ contest in Elmhurst.  A plot of land near my house was to be named and the Elmhurst Park District chose my idea.   Pioneer Park was dedicated on Labor Day 1974 and on that day at both Elmhurst public swimming pools, it was ‘Mickey Kahler’s Day.’  I still have the huge signs they made to mark this event.  By the way, it rained all that day and it was cold.  Doh!

THE ENTRANCE TO PIONEER PARK.
FOR YEARS PIONEER PARK WAS JUST AN OPEN FIELD WITH A FEW GARDEN PLOTS. NOWADAYS IT’S A MUCH MORE FUNCTIONAL PLACE WITH A PLAYGROUND, BASKETBALL COURT AND SOCCER FIELD.

** In high school I failed Driver’s Ed Behind the Wheel.  I didn’t get in enough practice time during off school hours and bombed the final road test.  I immediately re-upped for the next class and a few weeks later got an A- final grade.  Over forty-four years behind the wheel, I have a pretty clean driving record with only one accident that was my fault.  (I’ve been hit by drunk drivers twice and even a beer truck)

** I never drink coffee.  I like the smell of coffee, but not the taste.

** The same goes for anything with coconut in it.  I enjoy the smell, like in a shampoo, soap or skin lotion but can’t stand the taste or texture of coconut.

** When ordering take-out meals to be delivered, eating at restaurants or having drinks at a bar I’m a very good tipper.  For years my mother was a waitress at various eateries including Elmhurst’s swanky Stevens Steakhouse and I remember how hard she worked shlepping meals to diners.  People in the service industry have a challenging gig and I don’t blink twice at rewarding them more than fairly.

**Back to drinks.  When having cocktails with friends I usually toast them by saying “Slainte!”  (Pronounced Slahncha)  It’s an Irish & Scottish Gaelic word that means ‘Good health.’  I first picked up on this term watching the great Irish movie “Waking Ned Devine.”

I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A GOOD TIPPER. THIS IS THANKS TO REMEMBERING HOW HARD MY MOM WORKED AS A WAITRESS .

** I’m sort of left-handed, sort of right-handed.  I write, throw, swing a baseball bat, a golf club and shoot a hockey stick as a lefty.  Using a spoon or fork, I go lefty. However, I cut with scissors, kick a ball, shoot a gun and play guitar as a righty.  Oh, and when using a phone, I’m always left eared.

** I always enjoyed cutting my own lawn but since 2010 had to stop.  I developed a wicked allergy to freshly mowed grass.  Hiring a landscaping service was the way to take care of my yard but now a neighbor’s son does my grass cutting.

** While I no longer have my appendix or gall bladder, I still have my tonsils, all my teeth and seventy-five percent of my hair.  (Gray as it may be)

** I’ve only dated one red headed woman but often find myself attracted to ginger haired lasses.  

SURE I’M ATTRACTED TO REDHEADED WOMEN, BUT METHINKS MODEL/ACTRESS ANGIE EVERHART MIGHT BE A LITTLE OUT OF MY LEAGUE.
SPRINGSTEEN’S “REDHEADED WOMAN” SAYS IT BEST.

DEAR READERS- I’ve going to take some time off from posting new blogs.  So many folks are caught up in post-pandemic enjoyments (deservedly so) and I am too.  Plus, I’m working on some short story ideas.  See you back later this summer.

Random Thoughts

I have a few things on my mind that I need to get off my chest.  (If that makes any sense)

BILLIE EILISH’S TROJAN HORSE

Billie Eilish is a very successful singer/songwriter who fits into the ‘emo’ category/low fi music style.  Her vocals have been described as ‘whispery’ and ‘ethereal’ with lyrics that center around feelings of being outcast and wanting to be understood.  In other words, Eilish’s music is right in the wheelhouse of many young teens trying to find themselves. 

However, much of Billie Eilish’s notoriety comes from her physical image, sporting super baggy clothes, hoodies, dark sunglasses and black hair tinted with neon green highlights.  For her first couple years on the music scene Billie looked like the 2010’s version of Ally Sheedy’s shy and troubled character in “The Breakfast Club.”  A sullen, self-loathing loner who is struggling for acceptance.

A COUPLE YEARS AGO, THIS WAS HOW BILLIE EISLISH PRESENTED HER PUBLIC IMAGE.

Not anymore!  Over the past several months Billie Eilish has undergone a major makeover. First there was a big hubbub when she posed for a photo that showed off cleavage and since then Miss Eilish has been appearing more like a Madonna meets Beyonce singing diva.  No more baggy sweatpants, hoodies and funky colored hair.   The once painfully shy wallflower has even posed for a cover of Vogue magazine.

So those who were into Billie Eilish’s ’s emo/I’m so lost and confused songs, are left in the dust.  She’s no longer sitting with you at the back table of the cafeteria, wearing layers of baggy sweats and hiding in the shadows of peers she felt inferior to.  Billie Eilish is now one of the “cool kids.”  Folks, that ‘cool kid’ thing was always in Billie, she scammed many fans into thinking she was like them but she’s not.  It’s a trojan horse styled hoodwink.  Plain and simple.

Add to this, Billie EIlish is now accused of so called “Queerbaiting” due to the video for her new song “Lost Cause” which features her dancing and cavorting suggestively with a group of young ladies. She then posted a short follow up video stating “I love girls.”  Eilish is currently dating actor Matthew Tyler Vorce. There was also a recent report that Billie Eilish uttered an Asian slur and she has since apologized for that comment, giving the usual excuse racists give stating, “That’s not who I am.” Please. Sounds like she’s becoming a ‘mean girl’, far from the sad downcast image portrayed not too long ago.  Anyone who believes this young star is the genuine article could very well be mistaken.

THIS IS THE MORE UP TO DATE IMAGE OF THE ONCE SHY BUTTERFLY BILLIE EILISH. SHE’S SCAMMING HER FANS.

WET TEDDY BEARS? If I ever met the guy in those Liberty Insurance commercials selling ‘wet teddy bears’, I’d have to give him a big smack upside the head.  Totally obnoxious ads that you cannot help but see when tuning into TV shows.  And whoever came up with Liberty’s simplistic jingle, you get a smack upside the head too. Here’s their jingle: “Liberty, Liberty, Liberty, Liberty!”  Wow.  Genius

WHO WANTS A WET TEDDY BEAR? ONLY IF I CAN GIVE THIS OBNOXIOUS GUY A SMACK UPSIDE HIS HEAD.

“HACKS” CAN HACK IT

Having HBO Max is worth the extra money thanks to the comedy series “Hacks.”  Jean Smart stars as Deborah Vance, a Joan Rivers styled comedian (complete with her own jewelry/fashion line sold on cable infomercials) This comic is about to lose her long running Las Vegas residency at the swanky Palmetto Hotel & Casino.  Her reluctant co-hort is a recently disgraced due to a bad tweet comedy writer named Ava (played by Hannah Einbinder). Christopher MacDonald co-stars as Smart’s sometimes business associate.  The lines are fast, clever and have such a real feel to them. “Hacks” brings us the darkly funny and at times enlightening side of those who’ve made it in show-biz but have a realization that their time in the spotlight may be running out.  HBO recently announced a second season of “Hacks” will happen, and I can’t wait!

JEAN SMART (right) PLAYS WORLD WEARY BUT STILL FUNNY COMEDIAN DEBOARAH VANCE. HERE SHE’S WITH HER WRITING ASSISTANT AVA PLAYED BY HANNAH EINBINDER.

MISS CRUMP GETS A ‘D’

As a lifelong watcher and lover of the Andy Griffith Show I’ve come to the conclusion that Sheriff Andy Taylor’s girlfriend, Helen Crump was a bad school teacher.  Here are just some examples of this educator getting a low grade from me.

There was the time Helen messed up transcribing students’ grades that made poor Opie Taylor think he got all “A’s” on his report card.  Not only were Opie’s grades low, he got a ‘D’ in math!

Another time when struggling in math, Opie was told by Miss Crump to blow off his homework and go play football after school.  Sheriff Taylor wasn’t too happy to hear that.

Also, I’m not sure what vibes Helen Crump was putting out to young Opie but she inspired him to buy her a gift of black silk stockings.  Hey now!

MISS CRUMP SHOWN HERE DANCING WITH OPIE SEEMED TO SPARK A LOVE INTEREST IN THE YOUNG BOY.

Getting back to Sheriff Taylor, Helen Crump was in an open and obvious romantic relationship with Andy, this despite being his son Opie’s teacher.  While this is not illegal it sure smacks as being professionally inappropriate.

Finally, there was the time when Ernest T Bass was trying to get an education in Miss Crump’s class.  Ernest T kept interrupting a lesson being taught and instead of sending him to the principal or having him take a ‘time-out’, Miss Crump smacked Ernest T with a ruler!  That kind of move would get this teacher fired or at least suspended for a few days.  Miss Crump, get yourself together.

MISS CRUMP SHOWN HERE TRYING TO DISCIPLINE ERNEST T BASS. IN HER RIGHT HAND IS THE RULER SHE’S ABOUT TO SMACK HIM WITH!

So, in conclusion– Billie Eilish is a Trojan Horse pulling scam artist, the wet teddy bear salesman needs to get smacked, “Hacks” is a funny TV series and Helen Crump was a bad teacher.  O.K., everything on my mind is now off my chest.  Class dismissed.

NEXT BLOG– Some things you didn’t know about me and didn’t think to ask.

Everybody Back in the Water!

Forget about loving the smell of napalm in the morning.  I’ll take the sweet smell of Banana Boat SPF 30 sunscreen every time.   Yes, this past Saturday Elmhurst’s East End Pool opened for the first time in over 21 months.   Man, I knew I missed the water but didn’t know I missed it THAT much! 

REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD! HAPPY TO HAVE MY LOCAL POOL OPEN FOR BUSINESS AGAIN.

Lots of families with their young children were on hand and every person I swam by had a big smile on their face.  There were plenty of comments from folks saying how much they missed pool time and how thrilled they were that things were fully opened after the dry summer of 2020.

On Saturday I didn’t see any fellow pool regulars, (my summer family) but they often skip that day since there is no hourlong adult swim.  The one downer is for this year the adult swim is only set for Mondays thru Fridays, no Sunday adult swim sessions. Personally, I don’t care if a thousand members of the Mickey Mouse club show up to swim, I plan to spend as much time in the water as possible.

Saturday was a sunny humid ninety-degree day and the cool chlorine waters of the public pool were just the antidote we pandemic stifled people needed.  I didn’t go super crazy, staying in the drink for an hour and a half before heading to Mc Donald’s for a large frozen pink lemonade Slushie.   

Sitting at home after my dip, I could feel a slight glow on my face and shoulders which means while protected with the sunscreen, I’m still getting some tanning color.  By mid-July I’ll be brown as a berry.

NO I DIDN’T RUN INTO SCARLETT JOHANSSON OR HUGH JACKMAN AT THE POOL, BUT THE SWIM SEASON IS JUST BEGINNING.

Later Saturday afternoon I went to Sport Clips and got my annual summer buzz hair-cut.   My regular stylist Britany did the cutting and it was nice seeing her for the first time in about a year.  Britany had been homebound during the pandemic taking care of her two young children while her husband worked his full time job. I was going to wait until summer school ended to get my buzz cut but the weather is just too hot and sticky and I needed to get my long locks trimmed down.

YOU KNOW SUMMER HAS ARRIVED WHEN I SHOW OFF MY ANNUAL WARM WEATHER BUZZ CUT.

On Sunday I ran into a couple of the East End regulars and the first thing they asked was how my year of teaching during the pandemic went.  I politely gave them the shortened version of what a challenge that deal was for students and staff.  We all agreed that the important thing was we’re all still alive and back in the pool.

The rest of my time was spent taking some leisurely laps and remembering my swim strokes’ mantra.  “Pick an apple, put it in your pocket, pick an apple, put it in your pocket, pick an apple, put it in your pocket.”  It’s a huge relief to see everyone in their swim wear.  Board shorts, gym shorts, one piece swimsuits, bikinis, tankinis, etc.  Thankfully nobody was sporting tiny Speedos or the dreaded banana hammock.  Whew!

I’ve got eight more half days of summer school to roll through so my swim time will probably be limited to the Saturday and Sunday regimen until Monday June 28th.  That’s fine with me.  It just feels good to get back in the swim of things.

A SUMMER SELFIE TAKEN BEFORE GETTING MY BUZZ HAIRCUT. I MISSED BEING IN THE WATER AND LOOK FORWARD TO THE SWIM SEASON AT EAST END POOL.

NEXT BLOG- Things on my mind to get off my chest.

Call Me Crazy But…

Lots of random thoughts running through my head, time to let em loose.

CALL ME CRAZY BUT…

*Panera Bread’s food is way over-priced.  A close second is Jason’s Deli.

*The coolest member of the Rat Pack was Dean Martin.

*As dorky as they may look, Asics athletic shoes are super comfortable.

FORGET SINATRA OR SAMMY, THE COOLEST MEMBER OF THE ‘RAT PACK’ WAS DEAN MARTIN. BEST SINGING VOICE AND HE ALWAYS SEEMED BEMUSED BY ALL THE ATTENTION GIVEN TO THE WHOLE GROUP OF ENTERTAINERS.

CALL ME CRAZY BUT…

*I miss Quisp cereal and Olympia beer. (But not at the same time)

*If I could change one thing about myself physically, it would be to have perfect vision without glasses or contact lenses.

*Given the choice, I’d rather smell dog poop than cigarette smoke.

I MISS QUISP CEREAL. A CHILDHOOD FAVORITE FOR SURE.
IN HIGH SCHOOL, ME AND MY PALS WOULD SWITCH BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN DRINKING OLD STYLE AND OLYMPIA BEER. I HAVEN’T HAD AN ‘OLY’ IN 20 YEARS.

CALL ME CRAZY BUT…

*My favorite Steve Winwood song will always be “Back in the High Life.”

*Hard as I try, Kevin Hart’s stand-up comedy and movies just don’t do it for me.

*Toe rings are the most idiotic jewelry items ever sold to women. And if you’re a guy wearing a toe ring, you’ve just lost the ‘man card’ you never deserved in the first place.

LOVE THE MELODY AND LYRICS TO STEVE WINWOOD’S “BACK IN THE HIGH LIFE.” (SO DON’T BE SURPRISED TO SEE ME BACK IN THE BRIGHT PART OF TOWN.)

CALL ME CRAZY BUT…

*I’ll never get the attraction of models, actresses and every day women sporting thong bikini bottoms jammed up their ass cracks. It looks so uncomfortable, desperate and worst of all, UNSANITARY!  Most women look much better in one-piece swimsuits.

*Of the M. Night Shyamalan movies, “Unbreakable” was my favorite, even topping “The Sixth Sense.”

*The Delta Sonic Car Wash in Downers Grove does a great car scrubbing and interior cleaning.  Well worth the cost, which isn’t that high.

FORGET THE THONG ‘UP YOUR CRACK’ BIKINI BOTTOMS MANY FAMOUS WOMEN OPT FOR. EVERY WOMAN LOOKS MUCH BETTER IN A ONE PIECE SWIMSUIT LIKE LOVELY AUSSIE MODEL FIONA FALKINER.

CALL ME CRAZY BUT…

*Any guy who sports the so called ‘Monkey’s Tail’ beard is a putz.

* On “The Andy Griffith Show”- Sheriff Andy Taylor’s best girlfriend was Peggy the nurse.  She was the most attractive and her daddy had tons of money.

*Forget Oakley or Ray-Ban sunglasses.  I’ll take my twenty-five dollar Blu-Blockers over them every day.

THE MONKEY’S TAIL BEARD IS THE MOST IDIOTIC THING A GUY CAN WEAR. (EXCEPT FOR A TOE RING)

NEXT BLOG: Back in the Swim of Things…

Summer is Here!

While many people think of the first day of summer being around June 20th, I’m going with what the weather experts say.  The Meteorological season of summer begins on June 1st and runs through August 31st.  Then Fall happens from September 1st through November 30th and so on.  In other words, summer IS here!

LOUNGING ON A RAFT IN A POOL WITH A BEER, YES THAT MEANS SUMMER HAS ARRIVED!

Like tens of millions of people, thanks to the pandemic, I NEED this season more than ever.  Last year not only was my swim season at East End Pool called off but there were no movies to see since all cinemas were shut down. My summer was at a standstill. That bastard virus forced me to stay indoors and away from people for long stretches of time.  I was living a solitary and paranoid life like Charlton Heston in “The Omega Man.”

Add to that, all last summer the block I live on was torn up in a funky dusty mess thanks to a project that protects almost one hundred homes from basement flooding.  Four houses were torn down and a major dig happened with giant sewer drainage pipes installed, then covered over with a beautiful field of grass. That field is just waiting for neighborhood kids to come and start up games of Wiffle ball, running bases, batting practice and frisbee throws.   

The first special mark of every summer for me is June third.  As faithful blog readers know, that’s my favorite day in music.  “It was the third of June another sleepy dusty delta day” is how Bobbie Gentry’s southern gothic song “Ode to Billy Joe” opens.  We’ll never know why Billy Joe Mc Callister jumped off the Tallahatchie bridge; but that haunting song about indifference in a small town is a classic I never get tired of.

THE THIRD OF JUNE, IS MY FAVORITE CALENDAR DAY IN MUSIC. STILL, WE WONDER WHY BILLIE JOE MC CALLISTER JUMPED OFF THAT BRIDGE.

Let’s not forget that Neil Diamond’s song “Desiree” also refers to the third of June. Neil sings how he ‘became a man at the hands of a girl almost twice my age.’   That track was released in 1977, I was sixteen, and yeah, I remember thinking more about older women thanks to “Desiree.”

THIS COMING OF AGE SONG BY NEIL DIAMOND INSPIRED MY INTEREST IN OLDER WOMEN.

Next up we have the C.W. Mc Call truckers’ classic song “Convoy” which opens with, “Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June in a Kenworth pullin’ logs, cab-over Pete with a reefer on and a Jimmy haulin’ hogs.”   Schlocky song which I’m not posting to spare you the grief, but still a fun date to mark.

I’LL SPARE YOU THE SCHLOCKY SONG “CONVOY” AND JUST POST THIS PIC OF THE REBELLION OF TRUCKERS THAT HAPPENED ON THE 6TH OF JUNE.

June sixth also marks the birthday of the late great radio legend Larry Lujack.  My old boss and longtime friend would’ve been eighty-one years old this year.  I remember Larry telling me how ‘seventy’ was a tough age to say since it was three syllables.  Eighty-one would be the same way and while I miss Ole Uncle Lar very much, I’ve got plenty of good memories with him to think of.

JUNE 6TH ALSO MARKS THE BIRTHDAY OF MY DEAR DEPARTED PAL, RADIO LEGEND LARRY LUJACK. ALWAYS MISSED AND NEVER FORGOTTEN!

East End Pool’s swim season is set to open on Saturday June 12th and I can’t wait to get back there.  The pandemic related protocols the Elmhurst Park District initially planned have been lifted!  It appears we’ll have a normal swim season and I look forward to spending time with my ‘summer family.’

LESS THAN 2 WEEKS BEFORE WE GET BACK INTO THE SWIM OF THINGS AT EAST END POOL.

I’m in the first week of teaching ESY (Extended School year) and the summer session ends on Friday June 25th.  Thanks to carefully saving my earned days off I’m going to be taking half days for the last couple weeks of the summer session.  To say our students and staff are impatiently counting down to 6/25 would be a gross understatement.  As Clint Black sang, “For my day in the sun, I’ve been working til the sun don’t shine.”


“SUMMER SCHOOL” WAS A FUN LATE 80’S MOVIE AND ALSO WHAT I’M TEACHING UNTIL THE LAST FRIDAY IN JUNE.

My summer plans are simple. Get lots of time in at the pool and watch plenty of White Sox and Cubs baseball. I’ll keep a scorecard on televised games at least twice a week. Add to this, I have an AMC Theaters gift card that’s only been used once.   Finally, every summer when my break arrives, I often say I’m going to get in some serious writing and then never do.  This year could be different because I’ve outlined several post-pandemic short stories.  If I get them written they’ll be posted here in a special section.

PEEKING OUT THE DOOR, I SEE SUMMER HAS ARRIVED!

I’ve got plenty of regular blogs pre-written. These ones aren’t time sensitive so every Tuesday you can count on a new post as I opine on music, movies and other things on my mind.   The bottom line is summer’s here so let’s all get as much out of these coming days as we can.

CLINT BLACK’S “SUMMER’S COMIN” COVERS MY ATTITUDE RIGHT NOW, EXCEPT SUMMER IS HERE! “FOR MY DAY IN THE SUN I’VE BEEN WORKING TIL THE SUN DON’T SHINE.”

NEXT BLOG- “Call me crazy but…”