January 2024 – MICK KAHLER'S WORLD

Tom Hassler, we miss you already.

This blog is longer than what i usually post. When you’re friends with someone for over 57 years, there’s plenty to say. Tom Hassler passed away on Sunday December 10^th after a short but intense battle with cancer. We will be honoring Tom’s life at a memorial service next month. This blog is dedicated to Tom, his fantastic family and all the friends who were lucky enough to know him.

My first two best friends in the world were Tom and Pete Hassler.

We first met in the summer of 1966 when our family moved to Elmhurst, right across the street from the Hassler family. I was 5, so was Pete and Tom was 9, about to turn 10.

So many activities and events bonded us together like super-glued Legos. Quickly it was us playing wiffle ball in our backyards, playing catch in the street, running bases, playing army with toy guns and also with little plastic toy soldiers in the Hassler’s sandbox and the huge sandpile in our back yard. That sand pile was the spot for an above the ground pool we had for a summer before all of us began swimming at York Commons pool. I remember our post-swim bike races from the pool to home with Tommy always coming in first and me and Pete vying for the silver and bronze medals.

In the fall, Pete, Tom and I would play tackle football in my backyard. We wore helmets and Hutch brand shoulder pads. My red jersey number 35 would crash and hit with Tom’s #23 and I think Petey wore # 56.

At age 9, Wiffle ball in my backyard was the first bond we three had with the other Swain-Mitchell Street boys made up of Steve Bouse, Dennis Rudolph, Andy Spicer and Gerry Dhamer. Steve ‘Harvey’ Charvat would link up with us shortly thereafter. That summer my mom was canning all sorts of foods in our kitchen and would spread homemade jelly on hot rolls and biscuits and dish those eats out to us ballplayers between games. Tommy was the wiffle homerun king in our backyard and I was a close second. Although I was the first of us to hit 100 homers in that backyard ballfield.

Tom played for the Orioles in the Elmhurst Baseball league and years later Petey and I would follow playing for the orange and black O’s.

Baseball, baseball, baseball! Tom Hassler was our baseball mentor. I learned some about the game from my sister Marianne who was a bit of an athletic tomboy until she got to middle school. From Tommy I learned not just how to play ball but the HISTORY of the game. Yes, I knew big names like Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle was but through my friend I learned more about players like Ty Cobb, Tris Speaker, Honus Wagner, Hank Greenberg, Elston Howard, Bill Skowron and countless other stars from the past. Much of this was done with Tom and me playing his All-Star Baseball Game. I quickly got my own game like his and we even once sent away for more player discs that we split up in a draft.

Tom’s lifelong love for the White Sox is a whole other story. What passion he had for the pale hose! I used to laugh at how he’d travel out to Sox Spring Training games then come back with rosy forecasts for the south side ball club and nothing but doom for the north side Cubs. Ha! I’m so glad that in 2005 he got to see the Sox win it all. A huge relief and cause for major celebration.

Playing 16 inch softball was another love of Tom’s. From age 17 with the Hi-jackers to the Sultans to other teams and contests. I’d get dizzy just trying to keep up with all the places Tom went and the clubs he played for.

It was Tommy who gave me my name of ‘Mick.’ I was known as Mike until about age 7 or so when my older friend said he was going to start calling me Mick. I asked why and he said, it was for Mickey Cochran who was a great catcher for the old Detroit Tigers. I liked Mick better than being called Mike and rolled with it. My family went with this too and each year on the first day of school I had to bring a note from my mom asking teachers to call me Mick instead of Mike and they were fine with that. My nickname “The Hawk” evolved a couple years later.

Hockey- Did we all get into hockey! Tommy was the first of us to put on skates; then he wobbled and staggered on the ice rink we had in my backyard. Pete and I followed being on the blades and did so at York Commons pool in the winter and house league hockey at the YMCA. Pete and I were teammates on the last year we played at the Y, often times paired up as defensemen. I remember the time we were playing on the Dhamer’s backyard rink. Tom caught a puck to the face that gave him a huge black shiner that almost closed up BOTH of his eyes.

Tom, Pete and I were and remained huge Blackhawks fans watching road games on black and white TVs, wearing Hawks red sweaters (Tom wore # 7 for Pit Martin, Petey #2 for defenseman Bill White and I wore #18 for Andre Lacroix, later Denis Savard would wear # 18 and that was better for me) We went to Hawk games at the grand old Chicago Stadium. Tom and some of his college pals would eventually get 2^nd balcony season tickets for games in the early 80’s. It was Tom and Pete who taught me the history of former Blackhawk Wally Gunzo and from there we were buying our hockey gear at Gunzo’s Hockey Shop in River Forest. That store was hockey equipment heaven!

Years later, Tom would introduce me to his Pikes fraternity brothers and we’d travel up to Rockford to play hockey at a rented indoor rink. I even went out to DeKalb a couple of times without Tom to link up with those same frat boys for more hockey. Through Tom I met his Pikes buddy Scott (Scooter) Stavrakas and Barry Rozner. Barry would go on to a great career as a sportswriter and when working as a producer for Chicago radio stations I would on occasion call Barry to have him be an on-air guest.

One last hockey memory- In my college years, me, Tom, Petey and my pal Mark Vasko went to a Hawks-Flyers game while we were off on Spring Break. After the Hawks win, Tom spotted Styx guitarist James Young hanging out in the concourse. He pointed Young out to the 3 of us and kept saying, “You’re Styx! You’re Styx!” I don’t think James Young heard Tom but Petey kept laughing at Tom’s being a little star struck by this sighting. To this day, whenever I hear a song by Styx, I recall that brief encounter with James Young and Tom chanting “You’re Styx!”

Then there’s music. Whoa boy, lots of music! I distinctly remember through Tom, learning about and getting into the sounds of Led Zeppelin, Alice Cooper, Uriah Heep and the deep cuts of Elton John’s double album “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.” He and Steve Bouse were the first in our group to actually go see concerts in person. The rest of us would follow in the coming years.

In his late teen years, Tom took an interest in my sister Marianne. Mary dated other guys but it seemed a natural fit for she and Tom to link up at some point. They went to at least one concert together, Tom remembered it as featuring Wishbone Ash. While I could be wrong, I think his first romantic kiss was with my sister Marianne. They even carved their initials in the wet cement on the sidewalk in front of our house. You can still make out the TH & MK on that pavement.

I remember when he turned 16, seeing Tom drive off in his busboy clothes to work at Stevens Steakhouse along with Steve Bouse. Both Steve’s mom and my mom worked as waitresses at Stevens so there was a connection there too. Mom always said Tom and Steve were great employees. Tom would share with us some Greek terms he picked up and experiences at what was at the time, Elmhurst’s finest restaurant.

To this day, we Swain-Mitchell boys laugh at the memory of watching many Bears home games in the Spicer family basement. Tommy was a big part of those get- togethers and we’d commiserate at how awful many of those teams in the 70’s really were.

Later years- Late in his time at Northern Illinois University Tom met the love of his life. He introduced his girlfriend Linda to us at a birthday beer bash he hosted at his parents’ house. Wow and hey now! From the get-go Linda was a super sweet and lovely woman and it was obvious she and Tommy would spend their lives together. I recall Linda buying Tom a bird he named Max. It took a few years before their engagement would happen and my reaction was, “What the heck took him so long to propose?” It broke my heart that I could not attend their wedding but I ran a DJ business and had a big event to do on the same day that Tom and Linda said “I do.”

Tom and Linda’s family. The Hassler family was made up of daughters Devin, Kendall & Logan, son Jackson and foster child Carson who was adopted by Tom and Linda. Not to mention the many other foster children they took in and cared for over the years. Just amazing family happenings.

Many years ago, as the Hassler brood was expanding, Tom’s mother would update my mom and I on how things were going. Mrs. Hassler was in awe of her son’s home life. She would often say to me, “Michael, did you ever think Tom would have this kind of a family?” My answer was always, “I never thought it would be like this but he loves it, so great for him!”

Speaking of family, when Mr. & Mrs. Hassler were pretty much homebound in their later years, Tom would come by every week to bring groceries and take them to church. Tom was a huge World War 2 buff and I’m sure that interest started when he was young and learned of his father’s service in Europe. Tom was very proud of his dad’s time in the U.S. Army.

For several years, when the Elmhurst Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot started and ended near the corner of York and Valette, I’d invite Tom and his kids to stop by my house for a post-race visit. In my living room, there’d be Tom, Jackson and Carson and at least one of the girls. We’d spend some time talking about their 5K run and I’d get updates on how the kids were doing in school and their other activities. Living alone after my mom’s passing, these visits were a much looked forward to part of my Thanksgiving holiday.

When the Swain-Mitchell boys would get together at the Brick House in Downers Grove for fellowship, beers, food and watching sports, Tom would never fail to share the latest on his kids who were now all adults. College majors, jobs they had, places they moved to, you name it, Tom told us all about them. He was so proud of all his kids and I admired the parenting he and Linda did for their kids. Great people tend to raise great people and that is certainly the situation here.

Back in April of last year, when Tom was diagnosed with brain cancer, every one of us from the old neighborhood rallied around him with prayers, messages and hope for a positive outcome. We’d get updates from Tom and then from Linda. Eventually it became apparent things were not going to work out as we hoped. I am SO glad I got to see my friend one more time, on the last day of October. He was in home hospice care and in a deep sleep. Yet Tom lightly responded to a few of the memories I shared at that time. He had other close friends do the same during his home care.

And throughout all of this cancer ordeal, Tom’s wife Linda was his constant support and dedicated caregiver. Tommy deserved the best lifetime companion and he got that with Linda.

As far as what I can say to Linda and the family Tom leaves behind, it’s hard to make any sense of his passing. However, over the years, when I eulogized my father, my mother and my sister, there is a quote I spoke that brought me some comfort. It came from the liner notes of John Mellencamp’s 1985 “Scarecrow” album which was dedicated to his recently deceased grandfather. “There is nothing more sad or glorious than generations changing hands.” For me, the goal was to eventually minimize the sadness and appreciate the glorious.

Back when our boyhood pal Gerry Dhamer was murdered in 2006, I wrote up some Swain-Mitchell boys memories that covered some of the above listed stories. That missive was passed around to Gerry’s friends and family. Back then I cited the last line from the movie “Stand by Me” that remains as true now as it did back then. “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?”

Well for me, that friendship started at age 5 when I first met and played with the Hassler brothers Tom and Pete. Tom was our guide and informal mentor who delved into many of life’s experiences before any of us. Things like playing organized baseball, having a paper route, getting a driver’s license, working part time jobs while in school, going away to college and starting a career in business. Not to mention raising a fine family and progressing through the years. Tom is leading us again as he has left this world before us. We all miss him already but with any hope and good will, we’ll see each other again.

God bless you, Tommy. Thanks for all you were to me and so many others. We’ll never forget you!

Month: January 2024

Hitting to all Fields

Remembering Tom Hassler