Sheltering in Place Leaves Some Women Parched

DISCLAIMER- Today’s blog, despite the pics that go with it, is not meant to be a gratuitous cheesecake photo collection for horn dogs.  Just bear with me, O.K.?

The ‘Shelter in Place’ life we’re living due to Covid 19 has brought out the restlessness in many female celebrities.   There are no parties to attend, no shopping, no lunches at L.A.’s trendy Ivy restaurant, and of course no work projects to be part of.

 So what’s a girl to do?  I know!  Post lots of selfies of yourself in swimsuits to remind the world just how ‘hot’ you still are!  So here’s a small sampling of the famous fillies I’ve been spotting on numerous websites like TMZ, Perez Hilton, Daily Mail, etc. (Jeez, I gotta get a life!)

First off, I’m not including any pics or comments on the Karadshian/Jenner women. Those dizzy twits get enough exposure in their photo-shopped string bikini pics postings.  The fact that these goofs are mega-millionaires only depresses me that American culture continues to embrace these vapid vamps.  

 KATE BECKINSALE- This soon to be forty-seven year old actress (please name me ONE notable movie she’s been in) makes news with each new young fella she dates.  There was the brief affair with SNL star Pete Davidson but before and since then there’s been a parade of other men, all young enough to be an adult son of hers. Kate seems to thrive on the ‘cougar’ reputation she’s earned and makes no apologies.  Ms. Beckinsale also finds every opportunity to post up pics of just how slim and trim she’s managed to stay. 

WHEN NOT PARADING AROUND WITH HER LATEST ‘BOY TOY’, ACTRESS KATE BECKINSALE IS POSTING PICS OF HERSELF ROMPING AROUND HER HOUSE.

HELENA CHRISTENSEN– Up until recently, I hadn’t seen this former supermodel make much news in at least ten years.  Helena is now 51 and has recently taken to posting lots of swimsuit pics on social media.  Guys, it appears that Helena is single. VERY single.

FORMER SUPERMODEL HELENA CHRISTENSEN POSES ALONG A ROCKY RIVER BANK. WE GET IT, YOU’RE STILL RAIL THIN, AND LOOKING KIND OF NEEDY.

JANUARY JONES The 42 year old former “Mad Men” star has recently been posting so many swimsuit selfies that it’s hard to keep track of them all.  Her bikini bender is kind of sad. And guess who realizes how messed up this is? January Jones herself! Here’s a direct quote from Ms. Jones last weekend after she put up new bikini shots.  “I’m troubled by this. What’s become of me?”     

ACTRESS JANUARY JONES IN ONE OF ABOUT A DOZEN RECENT POSTS DURING HER BIKINI BENDER.

ELIZABETH HURLEY-  For the past several years I’ve wondered if the fifty-four year old model/actress even owns clothing that isn’t a teeny weeny bikini.  Yeah, she looks great but we kind of get it, you & swimwear are a nice combination.  Now please give us a year or two of no swimsuit posts.

HERE I THOUGHT MODEL/ACTRESS ELIZABETH HURLEY ONLY PARADED AROUND IN SKIMPY BIKINIS. HERE SHE IS SPORTING SOME DAISY DUKE CUT-OFF SHORTS.

PAULINA PORIZKOVA On a CBS Sunday Morning interview two months ago, the fifty five year old former Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue model talked about being understandably hurt over being left out of her late husband’s will.  Married to the Cars’ Ric Ocasek but separated at the time of his death last September, she nonetheless cared for him as he recovered from health issues before he passed on. Paulina also evoked favor by posting make-up free photos of her aging self, gray hair, wrinkles, crow’s feet and all.  She was telling our looks obsessed society, “This is what getting older really is.” Women praised this brave move.  However, after the CBS interview and the brutally honest portrayal of her physical flaws, Paulina Porizkova has done a 180 degree turnabout!  She took a pre-pandemic tropical vacation and posed for numerous photos in barely there bikinis.  Now these pics are popping up all over the place online.  

ON A PRE-PANDEMIC VACATION MODEL PAULINA PORIZKOVA POSED FOR AND POSTED NUMEROUS PICS THAT REMIND US OF HER SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT ISSUE DAYS. THIS IS IN SHARP CONTRAST TO THE NO MAKE-UP PICS PAULINA POSTED OF HER WITH GRAY HAIR AND WRINKLES.

Now some of you may be saying, “So what Mick?  These women look great and want to show their looks off to the world. What’s your problem?”  Fair enough.  However, a constant run of these photos connotes a feeling of neediness.  Some say these middle aged women are displaying confidence, I say just the opposite is true.    

There’s a decade old slang word the younger folks use to describe what I mean.  These women are “thirsty.”   To clarify, being ‘thirsty’ means you are- Overly eager and desperate, usually for attention, approval, or compliments.

Thirsty? These women look parched and yes, desperate.     

In the 1992 movie “Singles” there was a great line spoken by a woman trying to meet up with a potential suitor via a dating service. she said, “ Desperation,. it’s the world’s worst smelling cologne.” 

So to Kate, Helena, January, Elizabeth and Paulina, I say, “Get over yourself, you look fine but you don’t have to keep seeking approval and confirmation of that fact… Oh, and have a drink, you look a little thirsty.

NEXT BLOG- Honoring the Class of 2020.     

Best Concert Ever???

CONCERTS HAVE BEEN A CONSTANT IN MY LIFE, BUT IT’S HARD TO PICK WHICH ONE WAS THE VERY BEST.

Like many music fans I find it so hard to nail down the very best concert I ever saw. Plenty of shows are memorable to me.  Seeing Elton John, The Who or Bruce Springsteen for the first time all have special meanings. The same goes for two straight nights of Bowie in ‘83, seeing the Rolling Stones twice, or country shows by Garth Brooks, Clint Black or Travis Tritt.  But if I can’t name my very favorite live event, I do know that in the top two would be the multi-act concert I saw at age twenty-five.  It was a long night of music called the “Conspiracy of Hope” which was tied to the Amnesty International organization. This concert happened on June 13th, 1986 at the Rosemont Horizon, now known as the Allstate Arena.

My pal Lee Swanson landed me and several friends in the tenth row of the main floor for the show.  The Amnesty Tour was only six shows long and Chicago was the next to last stop.  The acts that performed that night were Joan Baez, The Neville Brothers, Lou Reed, Bryan Adams, Peter Gabriel, U2 and the Police!  Oh, and there was a surprise twenty minute comedy set by Robin Williams who was so hilarious, I couldn’t get the laughs out fast enough as he had a whole roll of rapid fire jokes to blast on us.

I missed Baez’s opening set because I was driving to the Horizon from my job producing  Larry Lujack’s afternoon radio show at WLS. I caught all the other acts and each was spot on great. Lou Reed sounded as monotone cool as his records, kicking off the set with his Velvet Underground standard “Rock n Roll.”  That was followed by newer solo work like “I Love You Suzanne” and “No Money Down.”  Of course we heard “Walk on the Wild Side” and things closed out with another new track, “Video Violence.”

THE AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL CONCERT I SAW IN 1986 IS EASILY THE 2ND BEST SHOW I EVER SAW.

Bryan Adams favored the sold-out arena with “Somebody”, “Summer of 69”, “Run to You” and a cool cover of the Beatles’ “Get Back” among others.  I’d never seen Adams live before and he smiled broadly throughout his turn to play.  I was also new to the Peter Gabriel live experience and his passion and animated ways made for a killer combination.  “Shock the Monkey” and earlier solo hits were fun to hear but the highlight was when Gabriel closed his set with “Biko”, the song about murdered human rights activist Steven Biko.  The entire crowd was singing the deliberate chorus of “Oh Biko,.. Biko.., because Biko..” and as he prepared to exit the stage, Peter told the crowd “The rest is up to you.” He meant this two ways: one, it was up to the fans to keep singing that chorus after he was gone and second, it was up to all the fans to keep up the fight for human rights.  It was a chilling moment, the kind that never leaves you.

PETER GABRIEL BROUGHT THE SOLD-OUT CROWD AN UNFORGETTABLE SET OF SONGS AND A STIRRING WAY TO CLOSE HIS PART OF THE SHOW.

U2 was next up and they blew the roof off the joint.  Over the previous five years, Bono and his band had been steadily growing in popularity but they hadn’t yet broken all the way through to the mainstream.  This was a year before “The Joshua Tree” album busted them loose to mega-star status but they were bubbling so close, right at the precipice of major fame.  In the dark of the stage like a sonic boom the band cranked into their Martin Luther King tribute “Pride, In the Name of Love.” Bono charged the stage like he was leading a prison break. I never heard the Rosemont Horizon this loud before or since.  It came from the band’s performance and the fans willing U2 to clock their official stamp on the show.  There was just something special about the timing of the band’s appearance and how they played, a real harmonic convergence.

BONO AND U2 EXPLODED ON THE STAGE AND CONFIRMED THE BELIEF OF MANY THAT THEY WERE TO BE A WORLDWIDE PHENOMENON FOR YEARS TO COME.

Next up was the anthem “Sunday Bloody Sunday” followed by Bob Dylan’s “Maggie’s Farm” which was infused with snippets of John Lennon’ “Cold Turkey” and James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain.”  Bono, Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen had this crowd in the palm of their hands.  A slowed down cover of the Beatles “Help” with portions of “Walk on the Wild Side”, “Norwegian Wood”, “Biko” and “Candle in the Wind” tossed in was next.  Bono was already a rock star but I always saw this performance as his true coming out party.  The guy was now officially a major force to be reckoned with!  Then U2 brought Lou Reed out again and they pounded out the anti-apartheid “Sun City.”  All acts that night played songs with the theme of justice and political change but U2 stole the night.

Here’s how great U2 was; when the Police came out to do the final set of the night, it was anti-climactic!  Sting and company played their hits just fine and fans were thrilled to see the trio back together for one of the first times since 1983 but it rang hollow. We already saw the climax before the end of the movie.  This was not because of what the Police didn’t bring to the stage but what U2 did bring to it.

THE REUNITING OF THE POLICE WAS GREAT TO SEE BUT THEY PALED IN COMPARISON TO WHAT U2 BROUGHT OUT THAT NIGHT IN JUNE OF 1986.

Witnessing this rare coming together of performers was beyond special.  As I said, I don’t know what my personal favorite concert ever is, but this long night of talent will always be in the mix.  June 13th 1986 was a Friday night, and this was one Friday the 13th that proved to be nothing but good luck for all of us who were there.

NEXT BLOG- Famous women who are too thirsty.

Comments on Covid 19

**Just in case you didn’t know, Covid 19 stands for CORONAVIRUS DISEASE and the 19 is due to the year it was unleashed.  The ‘19’ part bums me out. 19 was the number I wore from sophomore through senior years when I pitched for the York High School baseball team.  I took that same number when playing for the WLS AM 89ers softball team. Jonathan Toews, one of my favorite Chicago Blackhawk players, wears number 19. For many years that 2 digit integer was my lucky number.  I know compared to all the deaths and illnesses tied to this pandemic it’s a minor issue but this bastard virus has forever tainted 19 for me.

THE VIRUS’ MONIKER HAS TAINTED THE NUMBER 19 FOR ME.

**Watching TV and social media coverage of the closing of salons these past few weeks has been eye opening for me. I had NO idea how many women color their hair!  I was totally in the dark and this is coming from a guy whose father owned a beauty shop for over 20 years.  No judgment here, but I encourage women to give their natural hair color, even when it’s gray, a chance.

** Meanwhile my hair keeps growing longer which is fine but don’t look for a pony tail to happen.  You’ll never see me trying to be “Mr. Sensitive Ponytail Man.”  My ‘Quarantine Beard’ is getting thick and with the warmer weather I anticipate some discomfort so I’m ordering a new beard trimmer to pare down the face fuzz to something more manageable.

**With so many of us doing work related ZOOM video conference calls, I’m asking for someone to design a bathrobe that looks like a suit coat or dress shirt.  And please hurry!

**Like millions of folks, I miss getting together with friends at a bar for a few beers and a lot of laughs. So for the first time in years, I bought a 12 pack of beer for home consumption.  Whenever I have the need to feel ‘normal’ I open the fridge and slowly savor a bottle of suds.  By the way, just in case anyone wants to favor me with some free foamy goodness, my ale of choice is Shiner Bock.

HAVING A NIGHTLY BOTTLE OF SHINER BOCK HELPS ME GET BACK TO A FEELING OF ‘NORMALCY.’

**The pub burgers sold at Jewel are beyond delicious.  One juicy patty, grilled at home, and I lose all desire to hit a fast food drive thru for several days.

**Al Flash and I have written more COVID 19 song parodies than I can count. I look forward to making music about topics other than this awful virus ASAFP.

**Anyone who reads my blogs & Facebook posts knows how much the summer swim season at Elmhurst’s East End Pool means to me.  With Covid 19 restrictions going on, I have the sinking feeling (no pun intended) that our pool won’t open this year.  Yet, I hold out hope.

I HOLD OUT HOPE BUT THERE’S A MORE THAN LIKELY CHANCE THAT THIS SUMMER’S SWIM SEASON AT ELMHURST’S EAST END POOL WILL BE CANCELED.

**CBS Sunday Morning just interviewed the iconic Julie Andrews and her book co-writer & daughter Emma Walton Hamilton. To cope with our ‘shelter in place’ situation, Emma offered advice from her mom: When in doubt, stand still.” 

**I’ve often said when you take away her goofy drug talk, the tongue sticking out and off kilter dance songs, Miley Cyrus is an amazing singer. I love her versions of Tom Petty’s “Wildflowers” and her godmother Dolly Parton’s classic “Jolene.”  Last week on Saturday Night Live, Miley knocked Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” out of the park.  Well done girl!

MILEY CYRUS KNOCKED THIS PINK FLOYD CLASSIC OUT OF THE PARK. CLICK ON AND ENJOY.

NEXT BLOG: The best concert I ever saw gets a review.

Movies Most Like But I Don’t

Two weeks ago I posted a Facebook query asking friends to volunteer a movie most others like but they don’t. I got a load of wide ranging responses, everything from “Avatar” to “Zoolander.”   There were many anti-Avatars and considering how much money that film made, I can see how some would check it out and then go “meh, not for me.” Lots of women did not like “The Godfather.”  My guess is they didn’t enjoy seeing how in 1940’s Mafia life the women were treated like second rate citizens.

Everyone has their favorite and least favorite movies.  It’s a subjective issue and there’s no right or wrong, only opinions.  So with that I give you three films that were very well received both critically and at the box office,.and I don’t like them!

WE CAN’T GO TO MOVIE THEATERS BUT CAN STILL TALK ABOUT FILMS.

GHOSTBUSTERS-  I know why this one was such a money huge maker but it had nothing to with the quality of the script or the acting.  Director Ivan Reitman had two former Saturday Night Live members in the cast (Bill Murray & Dan Ackroyd), a hit theme song “Ghostbusters” from Ray Parker Jr. and the logo of a ghost with a circle and a slash through it, just when international signs like that were taking hold. T-shirts with the Ghostbuster logo were a big deal and worn by many.  By the way, Ray Parker Jr. was sued for ripping off musical riffs from Huey Lewis’ hit “I Want a New Drug” and the money matter was settled out of court for the always popular “Undisclosed Amount.”  The first third of “Ghostbusters” was mildly entertaining with Murray, Ackroyd and Harold Ramis trying to drum up business for ridding buildings of bad spirits.  Then we had Murray’s mugging for the camera and being Mr. Glib when trying to romance Sigourney Weaver. At this point things were slipping and as soon as ghost number one was removed from a hotel banquet room, the movie died for me.  It became a supernatural beast chasing farce with the Stay-Puf Mashmallow Man as its key character. The special effects took over “Ghostbusters” and I found it to be lame. I know I’m in the minority with this one but I still see the movie as nothing more than an elongated SNL bit with a catchy song and not much more.

A CUTE LOGO AND A CATCHY THEME SOUNDTRACK SONG DOES NOT MAKE A MOVIE GOOD.

“FIGHT CLUB” I’m a big fan of Director David Fincher who has brought us dark movies like “Seven,” “Zodiac”, “The Game”, “Gone Girl”, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” and “The Social Network.” However, “Fight Club” was a disappointment to me and I’ll never get what people saw in it. Well, you did have a buff, shirtless & very scummy looking Brad Pitt to look at.  Then there was the curious but clueless venturing of Edward Norton and a really filthy sex tramp in Helena Bonham Carter. There WAS one key line that people took from this movie and still quote it to this day.  “The first rule of Fight Club, you do not talk about fight club.”  One line of dialog does not a movie make.  Ugh.  The story plodded along with escalated brawls and a mystery as to what may happen at the end.  The film ended with the flat taste of a glass of Coke that was left in the sun all day.  Sorry Brad, Edward, Helena and Mr. Fincher, but when it comes to praising good movies, my first rule is to not talk about “Fight Club.”

A SHIRTLESS BUFF BRAD PITT WAS PART OF THE ATTRACTION OF “FIGHT CLUB” BUT IT MATTERED VERY LITTLE TO ME.

“FIELD OF DREAMS”- I saved this most overrated (in my opinion) movie for last.  Again, there’s a catch line filmgoers latched on to like barnacles on an old rusty fishing boat, “If you build it, they will come.”  Jeesh.  Here we have farmer and family man Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner) listening to weird voices that tell him to construct a baseball field in his acreage so some old time players from the disgraced 1919 Chicago White Sox can come out of nowhere.  Really?  This is your idea for a film? It sounded like one of those ‘wonderment’ stories from “The Twilight Zone”, certainly not a 107 minute love letter to baseball romantics.  Full disclosure, I played years and years of baseball and still enjoy watching the game, but this story reeked of maudlin sappiness.  I’ll never forget when the film ended; I was walking out with the crowd at the Oak Brook movie theater and grown men were sobbing, crying like their hearts were broken!  I felt like smacking these wimps in the face but that would’ve made them cry harder.  Not long after seeing “Field of Dreams” I read the best critique of the movie.  The comment was: “Field of Dreams was designed to make the Reagan generation feel good about baseball.”   Wow!  Truer words were never said, and I didn’t need this trite movie to appreciate America’s favorite past time.

“IF YOU BUILD IT THEY WILL COME.” AGAIN, A CATCHY PHRASE DOES NOT A GOOD MOVIE MAKE. HOKEY WAS HOW i SAW “FIELD OF DREAMS.”

Sometime in the future I’ll have to tap in to two of three films that I find to be underrated and underappreciated.

NEXT BLOG- COVID 19 Comments & Observations.

No Baseball? Let’s Play 3!

MISSING BASEBALL? LET’S SOOTHE OUR SOULS WITH SOUNDS.

Everyone has their favorite songs of all time.  Some were number one smash hits, others may have been top 20 songs or even album tracks.  It’s all subjective and the gamut of preferences can range from heavy metal to basic rock n roll, to soft ballads, bubblegum pop, jazz, country music, etc.

So with baseball season currently on hold, I thought I’d offer a ‘triple play’ of songs that I never tire of; tunes that I could listen to a million times and would still want to hear more plays of them.

“SATISFACTION GUARANTEED”- The Firm.   This was a British supergroup featuring singer Paul Rodgers (Free, Bad Company, Queen) guitarist Jimmy Page (Yardbirds, Led Zeppelin) drummer Chris Slade from Uriah Heep, Manfred Mann & AC/DC and bass player Tony Franklin.  On their debut disc, the first single was “Radioactive” which landed at #28 on the charts.  The next single & video was “Satisfaction Guaranteed” which failed to chart and that is a travesty.  Paul Rodgers is one of the most underrated singers in rock history and is still going strong on solo tours and road runs with Bad Company.  Page’s guitar is strong on this cut but its Rodgers’ vocals that make this an aces song.

ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS FROM THE 80’S CAME FROM PAUL RODGERS & JIMMY PAGE OF THE FIRM.

“GIMME LITTLE SIGN” Brenton Wood.  Born Alfred Jesse Smith in Shreveport Louisiana in 1941, Wood graduated high school then chased his music making dreams in Los Angeles. Speculation is he changed his name to emulate the wealthy L.A. district of Brentwood but that was never confirmed.  Wood who played keyboards, wrote “Gimme Little Sign” and in 1967 it made it to #9 on the pop charts and #19 on the R&B side.  But for me this song is a number one hit and one everybody should know and appreciate.

I’D LOVE TO SEE THIS SONG USED IN A MOVIE. PUTTING IT ON A SOUNDTRACK WOULD BRING IT TO A WHOLE NEW GENERATION THAT NEEDS TO HEARD GREAT TUNES.

“THE SALT IN MY TEARS”  MARTIN BRILEY This ‘I’m better off without you’ song only made it to #36 on the Billboard singles chart in 1983 but the video was in heavy rotation on M TV. This was back when M TV actually played music videos.  Martin Briley was a one hit wonder, never charting again as a singer.  However Briley has written songs for N’Sync, Celine Dion, Michael Bolton, Kenny Loggins, Gregg Allman & Barry Manilow.  That’s quite a wide range of artists to pen for.  Still, “The Salt in my Tears” is a track worth hearing again and again.

I COULD SEE THIS 80’S HIT BEING A GOOD CUT FOR SOMEONE TO RECORD TODAY, MAYBE A COUNTRY ACT? AND DIG THAT COOL ALBUM COVER FROM MARTIN BRILEY.

So there’s a quick sample of personal favorites from me. I’ll be posting up some more links to other ‘never get tired of’ songs in the near future.

NEXT BLOG: Movies others love and I never did.

Regrets? I’ve Had a Few

Two weeks ago I submitted a query on Facebook’s “I Remember Elmhurst” page. I asked members of the group to “Name a regret (slight or serious) they had from their high school days.

BIG OR SMALL, WHO’S HAD REGRETS AND WONDERED WHAT WOULD’VE HAPPENED?

Over the next week there were plenty of responses, some folks with minor issues, some with more serious thoughts. I didn’t tally them up but many people regretted not taking their studies seriously enough when at York or Immaculate Conception High School.  A few noted they got more dedicated about their learning when eventually getting to post high school classes, a few of whom entered college in their late 20’s and early 30’s to further their careers.  Better late than never, right?

The other bulk answer was the regret of being too shy or lacking confidence to do any of the following: Join the drama club, play sports, get more involved with after school activities and of course the reticence to not pursue romantic interests.  When reading those regrets I thought it would be a good primer for teens who are about to enter high school or are in the midst of their four years right now.

As far as my regrets, I had just three.

Regret #1. Not taking Spanish classes. When I was at York (1975-1979) I didn’t give taking a foreign language a second thought. However if I had known that twenty years later there would be such an increase of Hispanic speaking citizens, I DEFINITELY would have learned the language.  In my teaching career, there have even been a few jobs I did not apply for because they wanted someone who had a Spanish speaking background.

HAD I KNOWN HOW MUCH OF A HELP KNOWING SPANISH WOULD BE TODAY, I WOULD HAVE TAKING 4 YEARS OF THAT LANGUAGE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

Regret #2Not learning how to play the guitar.  As a lifelong music lover and occasional warbler of songs, playing a six string acoustic is something I should have pursued.  Being able to strum out the chords to the Eagles’ “Take it Easy” and The Who’s “Substitute” would’ve led me into some interesting situations. I sometimes joke that if guitar playing was my thing in high school I might’ve ended up blowing off college for awhile and played in rock and country bar bands.  That could’ve been pretty cool!  Country star Brad Paisley has often said his grandfather told him if he learned how to play the guitar he would NEVER be alone, even when by himself.  Right now during this pandemic, boy do I get that! Truth be told I do own an acoustic guitar and am slowly learning basic chords from online tutorials, but it would’ve been better to learn as a teen.  

TOO BUSY PLAYING SPORTS AND GOOFING OFF KEPT ME FROM LEARNING HOW TO PLAY GUITAR AS A TEENAGER. GIVEN A CHANCE TO DO IT OVER, I DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE TAKEN LESSONS.

Regret #3. Not asking more girls out during my four years of high school. While at York, I put on an outgoing and sometimes over confident front with my peers. However, deep down like most guys, when it came to making moves on girls, I was a wuss. Me and my friends were interested in girls but slow to get out of the gate.  We were, as Bob Seger sang in “Night Moves”, ‘Working on mysteries without any clues.’  There were a couple of lasses who I asked out and was politely shot down. That wasn’t the end of the world but those rejections, gentle as they were, tempered my eagerness to ask others to see a movie or go to a dance.  As a junior, I ended up dating a girl a year older than me who I worked with at White Castle.  Even when she went away to college downstate we stayed in touch and saw each other occasionally.  Trust me, when it came to the opposite sex, 90% of my male classmates were in the same ‘slow lane’ that I loafed in.  And I bet had I learned how to play guitar back then, I would’ve garnered more interest from the ladies.  Fortunately, like with most of us, things with the opposite sex got better as I grew up.  Although my standard joke is, “I’ve dated my share of women…  It’s just that my share is so little.”  

THE SWEET AWKWARDNESS OF GUYS AND GIRLS IN THE MOVIE “AMERICAN PIE” SURE RESONATED WITH ME.

So there you have my high school ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas.’ Nothing too awful there and my lacking guitar skills is something I’m currently working on.  No matter what, my four years at York were a blast. From sophomore year on I played for the Dukes baseball team, I was a three year staff writer for the yearbook, worked at White Castle, hung out with loads of friends from most circles or cliques and went to more fun and sometimes crazy parties than I can count. And I sure had a blast doing it all!

HERE’S MY SENIOR PORTRAIT, CIRCA 1979. THE GOOD NEWS IS I GOT MY TEETH FIXED AND WEAR TIES THAT AREN’T SO THICK. AND HOW ABOUT THAT ROCKIN’ PERM?

So my advice to those in or about to enter high school anywhere would be:

  1. Learn to speak fluent Spanish, it will help you in the future.
  2. Whatever urge or interest you have in music or the arts, be sure to pursue it while you’re young.
  3. And that girl or guy who you are interested in? By all means, make it known and give it a shot.

You only have one four year set of high school years, make the most of them and as the Nike slogan says, “Just do it.”    Class dismissed.

Next Blog- A triple play of underappreciated songs.

Have You Ever? Pt. 2

BE HONEST WITH YOUR ANSWERS AND NO LOOKING AT YOUR NEIGHBOR’S PAPER!

Years ago Sammy Llanas wrote the Bo Deans song “Naked” where he sang- ‘I’ve been around the block and I’ve done some things that I ain’t so very proud of.”

We’ve all been in that “shouldn’t have done that” boat; sometimes for minor things, sometimes for stuff more serious.  So here’s another round of “Have You Evers” to ponder.  So be honest, keep track of how many of these sins you’ve committed and no looking at your neighbor’s answers.

HAVE YOU EVER…

BEEN STRANDED BECAUSE YOUR CAR RAN OUT OF GAS?

BLOWN OFF A TOLL?

HAD SEX WITH YOUR EX? (Spouse or former boyfriend/girlfriend)?

WELCHED ON A BET?

BEEN THE UGLY DRUNK AT A SOCIAL EVENT?

EVER BEEN THE UGLY DRUNK AT A SOCIAL EVENT?

HAVE YOU EVER…

BEEN AT SOMEONE’S HOUSE AND SNOOPED IN THEIR MEDICINE CABINET?

DINED AND DASHED?

SEXTED SOMEONE?

GAMBLED ON A FART AND LOST?

LOCKED YOUR KEYS IN YOUR CAR?

WHO HERE HAS LOCKED THEIR KEYS IN THEIR CAR?

HAVE YOU EVER…

SPREAD A RUMOR ABOUT SOMEONE YOU KNEW WAS NOT TRUE?

MOONED OR FLASHED SOMEONE?

HAD SOMEONE WHO WAS YOUR REGULAR ‘BOOTY CALL’?

PUT A DENT IN SOMEONE’S PARKED CAR AND NOT LEFT A NOTE?

BEEN ONE HALF OF ‘THAT COUPLE’ MAKING OUT AT A PARTY THAT EVERYONE TALKED ABOUT?

THERE’S ALWAYS ‘THAT COUPLE’ MAKING OUT AT A PARTY THAT EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT THE NEXT DAY…

HAVE YOU EVER…

HIT ON A FRIEND OR CO-WORKER’S SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?

BOUNCED A CHECK?

HAD SEX WITH A BOSS OR CLIENT TO ADVANCE YOUR CAREER?

‘GHOSTED’ SOMEONE YOU WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH?

EGGED SOMEONE’S HOUSE?

WHO HERE HAS PEGGED A HOUSE WITH EGGS? TELL THE TRUTH!

FULL DISCLOSURE– I can answer “YES” to 12 of these 20 items. Which 12 I’ve done goes with me to the grave.  Sorry.

NEXT BLOG:  Regrets?  I’ve had a few.

Loving it Live With Melissa

Last week Melissa Etheridge was set to play Waukegan’s Genesee Theater but that bastard Coronavirus postponed the gig.  So I thought I’d share some memories of the first time I saw the Kansas born rocker in concert.

As passionate as Melissa Etheridge’s recorded music is, you really have to see her live to get the full appreciation of her talents. I’ve been to several of her shows over the years and admire what an intense performer she is.  There’s a real ‘love it live’ thing going on with her fans.  I’ve seen this mutual bond over the years but the most memorable exchange occurred during a 1992 concert at the Chicago Theatre.  Melissa’s “Never Enough” CD was her most recent and both old and new songs were well received.

THE BEAUTIFUL CHICAGO THEATER IS WHERE I FIRST EXPERIENCED THE FIRE AND PASSION OF A MELISSA ETHERIDGE CONCERT.

That night during a break between songs, a fan sitting a few rows from the stage called out to Melissa and offered her something.  As security let the woman get to the front row she handed the star an authentic Chicago Policeman’s leather jacket, complete with the real patches and tags.  Melissa was surprised at the offering and asked twice if the jacket was really for her.  It was and you could tell she was genuinely touched by this present.  The whole theater cheered and it was a cool moment.  I shared that tale with a friend of mine who promoted for Ms. Etheridge’s label. Years later he brought up the jacket story to her and Melissa lit up saying it was the coolest gift she ever got from one of her fans.

MELISSA ETHERIDGE’S CONCERTS ARE A GUARANTEED GOOD TIME. I HOPE SHE GETS TO MAKE UP THAT POSTPONED SHOW AT THE GENESEE THEATER.

One other highlight that night was at show’s end.  Melissa saved one of her early hits “Bring Me Some Water” as a final serving. Coming out with her twelve string acoustic guitar she held it high above her head with both hands like it was Excalibur.  The crowd screamed its approval of this cool pose, then Melissa gave a sly grin and launched into the unmistakable opening chords that got the place jumping as one.  Then she started with those well known lyrics, “Tonight I feel so weak, but all in love is fair…”

So if you ever get to see a Melissa in the future, you’re in for an evening of great music and a rowdy ass time.  And if you ever want to bring her a cool gift than can top that leather Chicago Police officer’s jacket, good luck!

JAMMING ON THAT 12 STRING ACOUSTIC GUITAR, ETHERIDGE GIVES FANS THEIR MONEY’S WORTH AT EVERY SHOW.

NEXT BLOG- A New Round of “Have You Ever.”

Timely Music For The Times

Country music was and always will be my first love. My parents listened to Hank Williams, Buck Owens & Johnny Cash records when I was very young and I happily took to it. The honest soul baring that happens in Country songs is what always gets to me.

With that said, Country singer-songwriter Jessi Alexander has a new record “Decatur County Red” that was just released and is definitely worth checking out.  Jessi has written songs for Black Shelton, Trisha Yearwood & Little Big Town. She also co-wrote Miley Cyrus’ top 5 hit “The Climb” and the heart tugging “I Drive Your Truck” which went to number one for Lee Brice. 

JESSI ALEXANDER’S NEW ALBUM “DECATUR COUNTY RED” IS A GOOD ONE FOR THESE TIMES AND ALL OTHERS.

Alexander’s husband is Nashville song man and singer Jon Randall. With Bill Anderson, Randall co-wrote the Brad Paisley hit “Whiskey Lullaby” among others. Needless to say Jessi and Jon’s marriage is loaded with song power!

So we travel on to “Decatur County Red.” The lead single “Mama Drank” is SO fitting for our current Coronavirus infected lifestyle which has shut us down fast. People are out of work or struggling to work and keeping their heads above water during the most uncertain of times while trying to stay healthy.  And yes, men too can relate to “Mama Drank.”  The best tie-in to today’s happenings is found in these words:

“HOLDING IT TOGETHER HOPING WORSE GETS BETTER AND THERE’S STILL MONEY IN THE BANK, NOW I KNOW WHY MY MAMA DRANK

THE SINGLE “MAMA DRANK” GIVES US REALITY THAT ANYONE CAN RELATE TO.

The title track “Decatur County Red” is another as “country” a song as you can get and I’m just starting to delve into the rest of the record.  Recently, Alexander told Billboard magazine, “All the songs are a really good representation of who I am, but the title track is autobiographical. Those words, every single word is true. It doesn’t just encapsulate the music that I grew up around, it also encapsulates the people that I was raised around,” she says. “I hope that when people hear that they feel West Tennessee, they feel the people I was raised around, things I saw, the music I heard, the food I tasted. I feel like all the songs do a little bit of that, but that one especially is so me.”

THIS TRAILER TELLS US ALL WE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE HERITAGE AND WORKS OF JESSI ALEXANDER.

So if you need some comfort in these weird and unpredictable times, you’ll find it in the authentic country found in Jessi Alexander’s single “Mama Drank” and her album “Decatur County Red.”

NEXT BLOG– Remembering a great Melissa Etheridge concert.

A Show Stealer from 1990

Every once in awhile a concert gets a performance from an artist or band that blows everyone else away and steals the show from all the other acts who played that night.  I’ve seen some of these things happen and my favorite went down during the Dave Edmunds Rock N Roll Revue Tour of 1990.  I was a big fan of Edmunds and the whole English contingent of rockers like him including Nick Lowe and Elvis Costello.  For his revue tour, Edmunds was to play in a multi-act line-up along with famed pub rocker Graham Parker, Fabulous Thunderbirds lead singer Kim Wilson and Dion Di Mucci of Dion and the Belmonts fame.  Di Mucci might have seemed like an odd choice to be part of this particular group of singers except that Edmunds had produced Dion’s latest album titled “Yo Frankie” which was released the year before.

I met up with several friends outside the Riviera for this Saturday night show and told them I could not wait to see how Dion would play with the fans.  The 60’s pop singer seemed to be the odd man out in this line-up of players.  I was way into the “Yo Frankie” album and heard at least three songs that could be released as singles from it.  Besides all these acts, the backing band included the legendary Steve Cropper guitarist for the Stax records house band, Booker T and the MGs. The Miami Horns were also part of this band. 

THE SITE OF A GREAT CONCERT I SAW 30 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK.

Dave Edmunds played host/emcee and opened the show with a smattering of his songs like the horn backed retro rocker “Closer to the Flame” and “I Knew the Bride When She Used to Rock and Roll”, which was written by Nick Lowe. (By the way, Lowe always noted “I Knew the Bride” borrowed heavily from Chuck Berry’s “You Never Can Tell” but that’s a story for another day.) Next up was Kim Wilson, minus the Fabulous Thunderbirds but still soulful with his rocking blues singing to songs like Sam & Dave’s “Wrap It Up” and the top 40 hit song “Tough Enough.”  Wilson doesn’t look like your typical rocking lead singer but he makes any song sound hip and cool and lit up the ladies in the crowd too with his voice and confident swagger.

FABULOUS THUNDERBIRDS LEAD SINGER KIM WILSON WAS IN FINE FORM.

 Third in the line-up was Graham Parker who unlike Edmunds, I had never seen live before.  I liked his pop sensibilities and phrasing and the crowd was into his bite on “Local Girls” and “Under the Mask of Happiness.”  The latter song coming from an album with the great title, “The Mona Lisa’s Sister.”  Parker wasn’t touring with his old backing band the Rumour or The Shot but his voice goes well with whoever is playing with him.

WHO NEEDS BACKING PLAYERS LIKE ‘THE SHOT’ OR ‘THE RUMOR’ WHEN YOU’VE GOT GRAHAM PARKER’S SONGS AND VOICE?

Batting clean-up and boy did he clean up this night, was Dion Di Mucci. Dion got a nice opening reception from the crowd as he thumped out the new song “King of the New York Streets.”  It’s kind of a streetwise updated version of his past hit “The Wanderer.” Dion then segued into “Written on the Subway Wall” which was the lead single from “Yo Frankie.”  These songs were not hits but for at least this night, everyone in the Riviera went nuts for them. Good songs are good songs no matter if they’re familiar or not. I looked up a review of this show from the Chicago Tribune’s Greg Kot who wrote Dion looked “ill at ease” when playing these new cuts but I didn’t see that.  I saw a veteran performer standing up tall to show his new musical wares. Interesting how perceptions can vary.

After the new material was covered, Dion rolled into his past hit “Ruby Baby.” That was followed by the familiar but always fun “Runaround Sue” which got everyone in the place to join in on the “hey, hey, whoa whoa ohh” singing. Dion walked out “The Wanderer” and then came the best song scene of the night as he started up the folk hit “Abraham, Martin and John.”  Dave Edmunds and Graham Parker each took a verse after Dion, all of them stepping up to the same microphone.  This was one of those “Wow, ain’t that cool” extra special moments you don’t see in most shows.  From that point on, Dion DiMucci owned the night as the surprise show stealing star. 

PLAYING OLD SONGS AND NEW, DION STOLE THE SHOW FROM ALL OTHERS.

Edmunds returned to round out the show with cuts like the Springsteen penned “From Small Things, Big Things One Day Come”, “I Hear You Knockin” and the revved up “Crawling from the Wreckage.”  Otis Redding’s “Dock of the Bay” was covered then the whole group of singers came out to close things with the Little Richard oldie “Keep a Knockin”.  This almost three hour concert with more than thirty songs played was finally done.  Four singers played their best with one guy shining just a bit brighter than the others.  Dion might have sung “King of the New York Streets” but that night at the Riviera Theatre, he was king of the Chicago Streets.       

DAVE EDMUNDS ORCHESTRATED THIS ECLECTIC TOUR OF ARTISTS BACK IN 1990. WELL DONE MAESTRO!

NEXT BLOG: The passion of a Melissa Etheridge concert!