DISCLAIMER- Today’s blog, despite the pics that go with it, is not meant to be a gratuitous cheesecake photo collection for horn dogs. Just bear with me, O.K.?
The ‘Shelter in Place’ life we’re living due to Covid 19 has brought out the restlessness in many female celebrities. There are no parties to attend, no shopping, no lunches at L.A.’s trendy Ivy restaurant, and of course no work projects to be part of.
So what’s a girl to do? I know! Post lots of selfies of yourself in swimsuits to remind the world just how ‘hot’ you still are! So here’s a small sampling of the famous fillies I’ve been spotting on numerous websites like TMZ, Perez Hilton, Daily Mail, etc. (Jeez, I gotta get a life!)
First off, I’m not including any pics or comments on the Karadshian/Jenner women. Those dizzy twits get enough exposure in their photo-shopped string bikini pics postings. The fact that these goofs are mega-millionaires only depresses me that American culture continues to embrace these vapid vamps.
KATE BECKINSALE- This soon to be forty-seven year old actress (please name me ONE notable movie she’s been in) makes news with each new young fella she dates. There was the brief affair with SNL star Pete Davidson but before and since then there’s been a parade of other men, all young enough to be an adult son of hers. Kate seems to thrive on the ‘cougar’ reputation she’s earned and makes no apologies. Ms. Beckinsale also finds every opportunity to post up pics of just how slim and trim she’s managed to stay.
HELENA CHRISTENSEN– Up until recently, I hadn’t seen this former supermodel make much news in at least ten years. Helena is now 51 and has recently taken to posting lots of swimsuit pics on social media. Guys, it appears that Helena is single. VERY single.
JANUARY JONES The 42 year old former “Mad Men” star has recently been posting so many swimsuit selfies that it’s hard to keep track of them all. Her bikini bender is kind of sad. And guess who realizes how messed up this is? January Jones herself! Here’s a direct quote from Ms. Jones last weekend after she put up new bikini shots. “I’m troubled by this. What’s become of me?”
ELIZABETH HURLEY- For the past several years I’ve wondered if the fifty-four year old model/actress even owns clothing that isn’t a teeny weeny bikini. Yeah, she looks great but we kind of get it, you & swimwear are a nice combination. Now please give us a year or two of no swimsuit posts.
PAULINA PORIZKOVA On a CBS Sunday Morning interview two months ago, the fifty five year old former Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue model talked about being understandably hurt over being left out of her late husband’s will. Married to the Cars’ Ric Ocasek but separated at the time of his death last September, she nonetheless cared for him as he recovered from health issues before he passed on. Paulina also evoked favor by posting make-up free photos of her aging self, gray hair, wrinkles, crow’s feet and all. She was telling our looks obsessed society, “This is what getting older really is.” Women praised this brave move. However, after the CBS interview and the brutally honest portrayal of her physical flaws, Paulina Porizkova has done a 180 degree turnabout! She took a pre-pandemic tropical vacation and posed for numerous photos in barely there bikinis. Now these pics are popping up all over the place online.
Now some of you may be saying, “So what Mick? These women look great and want to show their looks off to the world. What’s your problem?” Fair enough. However, a constant run of these photos connotes a feeling of neediness. Some say these middle aged women are displaying confidence, I say just the opposite is true.
There’s a decade old slang word the younger folks use to describe what I mean. These women are “thirsty.” To clarify, being ‘thirsty’ means you are- Overly eager and desperate, usually for attention, approval, or compliments.
Thirsty? These women look parched and yes, desperate.
In the 1992 movie “Singles” there was a great line spoken by a woman trying to meet up with a potential suitor via a dating service. she said, “ Desperation,. it’s the world’s worst smelling cologne.”
So to Kate, Helena, January, Elizabeth and Paulina, I say, “Get over yourself, you look fine but you don’t have to keep seeking approval and confirmation of that fact… Oh, and have a drink, you look a little thirsty.
NEXT BLOG- Honoring the Class of 2020.