We all endure the losses of family members. My saddest times were in 1993 when my father died at the way too young age of 58, in 2009 when my mom suddenly passed from a heart attack and in 2014 when my sister Marianne succumbed after a long battle with an auto-immune disease of which there was no cure. Those were the worst of times for me for sure.
However, there was a week in 1994 that affected me nearly as much as the death of my family members. It began on Monday October 10th when I learned my longtime friend Lee Swanson was in the hospital with a recurrence of cancer he’d beaten in 1982. This time cancer won and Lee left us the very next day. I was able to visit him that Monday for about ten minutes and in a dreamy semi-conscious state Lee knew I was there for him. I later learned I was the last person to talk to him before he slipped into a final coma.
Long story short Lee Swanson was a mentor and friend to me since 1981. He was a fellow media junkie, local music businessman and a pre-Google era search engine. Anything I wanted or needed to know about writing, radio, music or DJ-ing dances was provided by him. His wisdom and guidance as I pursued a career in professional radio was invaluable. I often said Lee was Yoda to my Luke Skywalker and there is no way I would’ve ended up producing the Larry Lujack WLS morning radio show at age twenty-four without his help. He was also the older brother I never had. And now for the first time in over thirteen years I was without my touchstone, Luke had lost Yoda. I was beside myself with hurt and grief.
At the time of Lee’s passing I was producing the JD & The Katman Morning Show at WUSN FM, known as US*99. I knew JD & John ‘Katman’ Katzback for a few years before landing at their station. Since June of 1993 when I started there, John and I formed a tight creative bond doing show bits and having lots of fun on and off the air. We had common sensibilities and cracked each other up constantly. Morning host JD Spangler used to say John and I were each other’s best audience. He was right!
On the same day of Lee Swanson’s death I gutted it out and attended a big radio station event that evening. I knew Lee would have wanted me to be there. We were celebrating the 5th anniversary of the JD & Katman show with a concert and party at Chicago’s Whiskey River country music bar. Listeners had to win tickets to this private show that starred Joe Diffie who was all over the country music charts at the time. When I arrived that night, John Katzback was the first one to greet me, offering his condolences on losing my dear friend Lee. It was John’s night to have fun and celebrate and he’s consoling my hurt. What a guy and what a great night that was!
However, on October 12th the afternoon after the hugely successful 5th Anniversary bash, I got a call at home from my Program Director Dean Mc Neil. Dean informed me John Katzback had been stricken at home with a suspected brain aneurism and things looked bleak! I was beyond stunned. Just the night before John’s health crisis we were having a blast at the Diffie show and a couple hours before McNeil’s call we wrapped up another solid morning show; now this? It happened but it was crazy and felt like a bad dream that turned out real.
While The Katman was being treated at a suburban hospital, I attended Lee Swanson’s wake and the next day his funeral. A couple days later came the call that John Katzback had passed away. John was an organ donor so several living people benefitted from his generosity; but we were without our co-worker and friend. All of the US*99 employees and thousands of listeners were left speechless over his death. The guy was only twenty nine, leaving behind his wife Leslie and a six month old baby boy named Max. I’d never seen such a cruel twist of fate and burden thrown at a new mother and her infant son.
I’ll always first think of others who were so hurt by Lee’s and John’s passing. But still, in less than a week I dealt with the one two punch of losing one of my best friends in Lee Swanson and then a ‘brother in sound’ in John Katman Katzback. During this wickedly difficult time, I kept my faith in a greater being but I wasn’t sure if I could trust the cosmic powers that be. This was a devastating situation and I was lost, kind of like a rudderless boat, adrift and unsure where I was going.
So how does one get through such a crazy double dose of death? My solution was to become an ultra-social animal. I began dating three different women at the same time (one of whom I met at Lee’s wake) and also hung out with a couple of others, Dana and Sonja who were pals from my past. My theory was ‘There’s strength in numbers and they can’t ALL die on me!’ I also huddled with my two oldest friends Bobbo and Marko who were great sources of support and kindness. My mother and sister were also there for me too.
Throughout this new social whirl I remained numb with the hurt of Lee and Katman’s deaths just below my skin. I kept wondering ‘Why them?’ Also ‘Why am I saddled with this double tap of loss?’ This sucks!
I ended that dating frenzy in early 1995 but it wasn’t until the spring of that year when I realized I had not yet processed losing Lee and The Katman. I was too busy trying to avoid thinking about that grief. It took me about four months after that to sort out my head and my heart. This taught me a lesson to not put off dealing with the issues of loss.
So we’re twenty-five years past a truly awful week that I somehow got through. Some day things will come full circle and I’ll see Lee and John again. In spite of that difficult time in 1994, I know how lucky and blessed I am to have known them. Special guys like Lee and John don’t come around every day and I miss them very much.
Here’s to better days and weeks for all of us.
Next Week’s Blog- A STINK MADE OVER BODY INK.