I have a few things on my mind that I need to get off my chest. (If that makes any sense)
BILLIE EILISH’S TROJAN HORSE
Billie Eilish is a very successful singer/songwriter who fits into the ‘emo’ category/low fi music style. Her vocals have been described as ‘whispery’ and ‘ethereal’ with lyrics that center around feelings of being outcast and wanting to be understood. In other words, Eilish’s music is right in the wheelhouse of many young teens trying to find themselves.
However, much of Billie Eilish’s notoriety comes from her physical image, sporting super baggy clothes, hoodies, dark sunglasses and black hair tinted with neon green highlights. For her first couple years on the music scene Billie looked like the 2010’s version of Ally Sheedy’s shy and troubled character in “The Breakfast Club.” A sullen, self-loathing loner who is struggling for acceptance.
Not anymore! Over the past several months Billie Eilish has undergone a major makeover. First there was a big hubbub when she posed for a photo that showed off cleavage and since then Miss Eilish has been appearing more like a Madonna meets Beyonce singing diva. No more baggy sweatpants, hoodies and funky colored hair. The once painfully shy wallflower has even posed for a cover of Vogue magazine.
So those who were into Billie Eilish’s ’s emo/I’m so lost and confused songs, are left in the dust. She’s no longer sitting with you at the back table of the cafeteria, wearing layers of baggy sweats and hiding in the shadows of peers she felt inferior to. Billie Eilish is now one of the “cool kids.” Folks, that ‘cool kid’ thing was always in Billie, she scammed many fans into thinking she was like them but she’s not. It’s a trojan horse styled hoodwink. Plain and simple.
Add to this, Billie EIlish is now accused of so called “Queerbaiting” due to the video for her new song “Lost Cause” which features her dancing and cavorting suggestively with a group of young ladies. She then posted a short follow up video stating “I love girls.” Eilish is currently dating actor Matthew Tyler Vorce. There was also a recent report that Billie Eilish uttered an Asian slur and she has since apologized for that comment, giving the usual excuse racists give stating, “That’s not who I am.” Please. Sounds like she’s becoming a ‘mean girl’, far from the sad downcast image portrayed not too long ago. Anyone who believes this young star is the genuine article could very well be mistaken.
WET TEDDY BEARS? If I ever met the guy in those Liberty Insurance commercials selling ‘wet teddy bears’, I’d have to give him a big smack upside the head. Totally obnoxious ads that you cannot help but see when tuning into TV shows. And whoever came up with Liberty’s simplistic jingle, you get a smack upside the head too. Here’s their jingle: “Liberty, Liberty, Liberty, Liberty!” Wow. Genius
“HACKS” CAN HACK IT
Having HBO Max is worth the extra money thanks to the comedy series “Hacks.” Jean Smart stars as Deborah Vance, a Joan Rivers styled comedian (complete with her own jewelry/fashion line sold on cable infomercials) This comic is about to lose her long running Las Vegas residency at the swanky Palmetto Hotel & Casino. Her reluctant co-hort is a recently disgraced due to a bad tweet comedy writer named Ava (played by Hannah Einbinder). Christopher MacDonald co-stars as Smart’s sometimes business associate. The lines are fast, clever and have such a real feel to them. “Hacks” brings us the darkly funny and at times enlightening side of those who’ve made it in show-biz but have a realization that their time in the spotlight may be running out. HBO recently announced a second season of “Hacks” will happen, and I can’t wait!
MISS CRUMP GETS A ‘D’
As a lifelong watcher and lover of the Andy Griffith Show I’ve come to the conclusion that Sheriff Andy Taylor’s girlfriend, Helen Crump was a bad school teacher. Here are just some examples of this educator getting a low grade from me.
There was the time Helen messed up transcribing students’ grades that made poor Opie Taylor think he got all “A’s” on his report card. Not only were Opie’s grades low, he got a ‘D’ in math!
Another time when struggling in math, Opie was told by Miss Crump to blow off his homework and go play football after school. Sheriff Taylor wasn’t too happy to hear that.
Also, I’m not sure what vibes Helen Crump was putting out to young Opie but she inspired him to buy her a gift of black silk stockings. Hey now!
Getting back to Sheriff Taylor, Helen Crump was in an open and obvious romantic relationship with Andy, this despite being his son Opie’s teacher. While this is not illegal it sure smacks as being professionally inappropriate.
Finally, there was the time when Ernest T Bass was trying to get an education in Miss Crump’s class. Ernest T kept interrupting a lesson being taught and instead of sending him to the principal or having him take a ‘time-out’, Miss Crump smacked Ernest T with a ruler! That kind of move would get this teacher fired or at least suspended for a few days. Miss Crump, get yourself together.
So, in conclusion– Billie Eilish is a Trojan Horse pulling scam artist, the wet teddy bear salesman needs to get smacked, “Hacks” is a funny TV series and Helen Crump was a bad teacher. O.K., everything on my mind is now off my chest. Class dismissed.
NEXT BLOG– Some things you didn’t know about me and didn’t think to ask.