On Facebook you often see people post up a survey checklist where you’re asked to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to specific questions about your life experiences. The questions ask things like have you ever: Fired a gun, Ridden in an ambulance, Gotten a tattoo, Visited a foreign country, Sung Karaoke, Been scuba diving, etc.
I guess these informal queries are a check to see what kind of life you’ve lived so far. With all this said, I thought I’d pose some of my own questions. So feel free to take my poll,.answer yes or no, and no cheating off your neighbor’s paper.
HAVE YOU EVER:
EATEN A WHOLE SLEEVE OF OREO COOKIES IN ONE SITTING?
DRIVEN DRUNK?
SNEAKED INTO ANOTHER MOVIE AFTER SEEING YOUR FILM AT THE CINEMA?
GIVEN THE FINGER TO ANOTHER DRIVER?
STOLEN SILVERWARE FROM A RESTAURANT?
PEED IN A PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL?
DONE THE WALK OF SHAME?
TALKED YOUR WAY OUT OF A TRAFFIC TICKET?
USED THE ACCOUNTS AND DESCRIPTIONS OF A TELEVISED GAME WITHOUT THE EXPRESSED WRITTEN CONSENT OF A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL CLUB?
NOT TIPPED A SERVER?
CRASHED A WEDDING?
HAD AN INTER-OFFICE ROMANCE?
SHAVED OR TRIMMED YOUR ‘FUN ZONE’?
WISHED SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW DEAD?
HAD A POOP ACCIDENT IN YOUR PANTS AFTER CHILDHOOD?
CHEATED ON A SCHOOL QUIZ, TEST OR EXAM?
LOOKED AT PORN ONLINE?
RE-GIFTED A PRESENT THAT WAS GIVEN TO YOU?
EATEN SOMEONE ELSE’S FOOD FROM THE WORKPLACE FRIDGE?
SWAM NAKED?
KEYED SOMEONE’S CAR?
QUIETLY FARTED IN A CROWDED ELEVATOR?
PAID FOR A LAP DANCE? (MALE, FEMALE, YOUR CHOICE)
AS AN ADULT, CRIED OVER YOUR SPORTS TEAM LOSING A GAME?
WATCHED AN ENTIRE EPISODE OF ‘KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS?’
FULL DISCLOSURE– I can answer “YES” to 20 of these 25 items. Which 20 I’ve done goes with me to the grave. Sorry.
NEXT WEEK’S BLOG- A Halloween tradition I say ‘Boooo’ to.