A Queen Concert Memory

December 7th 1978 Chicago Stadium

We hit the way-back machine to 41 years ago this week.

 I was a senior in high school the first time I saw Queen in concert.  I always liked their music for the fact that they rocked hard on songs like “Sheer Heart Attack” and “Tie Your Mother Down” but could also sing the softer songs like “You’re My Best Friend” and “Love of My Life.” And the creativity of the hit “Bohemian Rhapsody” was mind blowing. Queen was one of those bands best appreciated when you see them live, full of big sound, lights, great musicianship and showmanship by one of the coolest lead singers ever in Freddie Mercury. (May he rest in peace) 

My buddy Dave Potter and I went together and the show had all the makings of a great time. It was a Thursday night so being out late wouldn’t be a big deal because Fridays in school were usually a breeze.  Add to this, “Potts” as we called him, picked me up in his two seat MG with a pizza from the place where he worked and a six pack of Stroh’s beer.  Our seats were in the mezzanine about three quarters the way back of the Stadium which worked to our advantage because Queen puts on a large, expansive show that needs to be taken in from a distance.

FREDDIE MERCURY AND THE BAND PLAYING THEIR HEARTS OUT FOR THE QUEEN FAITHFUL.

Queen’s entrance was novel one.  Their overhead lighting rig was mounted on a roof like structure that rested on the stage at a forty-five degree angle. When the houselights went out this ceiling of rows of red, green and white lights began to slowly rise to its full stretched out position above the band. The steps leading to Roger Taylor’s drum set had beaming spotlights in them which were blinding and dimming all night.  So Brian May’s searing guitar started up like a chainsaw while Taylor pounded out the beat to a much faster version of “We Will Rock You.”  John Deacon’s bass hummed its line and out of the dry ice and water infused smoke and lights arrived Queen’s grand maestro Freddie Mercury. 

Mercury eschewed the tight leotards and body stockings he used to wear in concert for a full on storm trooper outfit. He wore white wrestling shoes, shiny black pants, held up with red suspenders, no shirt plus a black leather motorcycle jacket topped with aviator shades and a leather pilot’s cap.  Freddie’s get up was similar to what Al Pacino would wear in the leather bar scenes of the movie “Cruising” a year later. At the time I was oblivious to the gay overtones of his stage wear. And what would that matter anyway?  To me, it looked beyond rock and roll.  It was Elvis’ “Jailhouse Rock” meets Marlon Brando in “The Wild Bunch.”

CRUISING WEAR. FREDDIE MERCURY IN FULL LEATHER REGALIA.THAT I THOUGHT LOOKED DAMN COOL.

So the band plows through the “We Will Rock You” part of ”We Are the Champions” then rolled into the rest of their setlist.  We would get the whole regular tribal beat version of that two song punch to close out the show.  Queen was promoting their “Jazz” album so they brought us songs like “Let Me Entertain You”, “Bicycle Race” and the rowdy romp “Fat Bottomed Girls.”  Remember, this was 1978 so these guys were twenty five years ahead of the whole “big butt” admiration society thing that Jennifer Lopez and the Kardashians have pushed in our faces. (So to speak)  

IN DECEMBER OF ’78 QUEEN WAS PROMOTING AND PLAYING CUTS FROM THE ‘JAZZ’ ALBUM.

Freddie Mercury alternated between playing his piano to being the full out in your face lead singer at the front of the stage. He held his microphone on a four foot metal pole and sometimes used it as a conductor’s baton.  The sold out crowd went nuts with every move he made.  During “Tie Your Mother Down” I remember being amazed at how four players could make such a huge noise.  Again, Brian May’s guitar had so much to do with that.

The band played “Bohemian Rhaposody” live until they got to the “I see a little silhouette of a man” part. That’s when the foursome left the stage and we heard a tape playing the multi-voiced choir’s refrains.  Queen returned when it was time to rock out with “So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye” and the close of the song.  Sometimes when seeing a live show you forget about a song or two in a band’s past and when it gets played you go, “Oh, yeah, I love that one!”  That happened near the end of the night when they covered “It’s Late” from the “News of the World” album.

The final encore was, “We Will Rock You/We are the Champions” and as the rockers took their final bows, we heard a recorded version of “God Save The Queen.”  Well done by the band as the stadium crowd roared its approval.

THE QUARTET OF ROCKERS WAS GREAT BUT IT WAS FREDDIE MERCURY WHO WAS THE BIGGEST STAR.

All four members of Queen played so well together but Freddie Mercury was the straw that stirred the band’s live drink.  Seeing interviews over the years it became apparent that away from the stage, Freddie was a very shy, low key kind of a guy; definitely a Jekyll and Hyde thing going on there.  I found it fitting Potts and I saw Queen on December 7th, Pearl harbor Day, a day that in 1941 FDR said would live in infamy.  True enough, but Mercury, May, Deacon and Taylor made that night in 1978 one to remember too!

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG- Recalling Christmases in the Kahler household.

Hitting To All Fields

Every once in a while I have lots of little things on my mind and I splay them all out in a blog.  Today is such a time for doing this.

I’m not a parent, just an uncle to a sweet niece and nephew who grew into fantastic adults.  Still, I teach kids with behavior issues and I know a bit about children and what parents need to do to ensure their kids behave properly.  Last week at Sport Clips while waiting for my hair to be cut I saw a father who didn’t know what the hell he was doing with his four year old son who was also waiting for a hair-cut.  I bet that dad asked his son a dozen times to sit down next to him in the waiting area. Instead, the kid ignored dad and pulled out a bunch of suckers from a treats bucket, re-arranged and dropped some tubes of hair products on display and kept running in and out of the entrance door, which rang a bell to alert staff that someone new walked in the shop.  This father never got up to physically sit his rambunctious boy next to him and there was no firm assertion of the situation. He just sat there helpless. If this little boy is like this with dad at age 4, I’d hate to see what goes down when the kid is 14.   

YEAH WITHOUT SOME BETTER PARENTING THAT KID AT SPORT CLIPS WILL GROW INTO A DEVIL CHILD FOR SURE.

Last month I had a serviceman come to my house for a repair issue.  I won’t mention what company and you’ll understand why in just a second. The guy was very nice, helpful and took care of matters in half an hour.  There’s just one problem, the man had incredibly awful body odor.  I really didn’t notice it at first because he went right to work on the issue at hand. While this serviceman toiled away in my bedroom I sat in the living room and killed time watching TV.  After I signed off on the work and he left my house I walked into my bedroom and the smell almost knocked me over.  Opening both windows didn’t help and neither did a liberal spray of Febreze.

Despite keeping the bedroom windows open all night while I slept on the living room couch, the smell remained and would not fade.  Three days later nothing improved and I ended up having to wash all my bedclothes, I gave my rug a major vacuuming with foam carpet cleaner and scrubbed my walls with diluted bleach and a sponge.  Then and only then did the smell of this service guy go away.  It reminded me of the Seinfeld episode “The Smelly Car” where a car porter’s B.O. permanently polluted Jerry’s car.            

THANKS TO A SERVICE WORKER WITH POOR HYGIENE, SEINFELD HAD A SMELLY CAR,.AND I HAD A SMELLY BEDROOM.

I have a new favorite actress.  It’s Sasha Alexander who co-starred on ‘Rizzoli and Isles” and did some nutty love scenes on several episodes of Showtime’s “Shameless.”  I first noticed Ms. Alexander on a rerun of “Friends” where she played an entertainment reporter interviewing Joey.  Sasha Alexander reminds me of a younger Susan Sarandon. She has a look and aura about her that is very much a turn-on without being blatantly slutty.  The most erotic body part we have is the brain and this woman emits something special from her persona.  Plus the name ‘Sasha’ is pretty cool.     


I FIND ACTRESS SASHA ALEXANDER TO BE HOT. SO HOT THAT I’M LETTING MY RULE OF ‘NO BARE FEET’ SLIDE.

Until she announced a newfound career in porn this fall, I had not heard of actress Maitland Ward. She used to star on the TV show “Boy Meets World” but I never watched that series.  So I went online and checked out one of her adult videos.

ACTRESS MAITLAND WARD HAS MOVED ON FROM THE TV SERIES ‘BOY MEETS WORLD’ TO THE WORLD OF PORNOGRAPHY. HER BULGING CHEST MAKES ME THINK I OVER-INFLATED MY CAR TIRES.

My take is that Maitland Ward has an average looking face, giant fake boobs and a really ugly tramp stamp tattoo (is there such a thing as a pretty ‘tramp stamp’?) Finally, pardon the crudeness, but her bajingo looks like Bill Murray’s mouth in “Caddyshack.”  I’ll take a hard pass on watching anything else Maitland Ward does.

I SAW IT SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO. MAITLAND WARD’S BAJINGO LOOKS LIKE BILL MURRAY’S MOUTH IN “CADDYSHACK.”

MOVIE TALK-Positive buzz is happening for the Agatha Christie-like whodunit comedy “Knives Out.” 

Due out soon is the war epic “1917” and there’s “The Rise of Skywalker” as the Star Wars series wraps up. I’ll probably get around to seeing those movies and here are the trailers for two films I’m really looking forward to seeing.   

THIS ONE LOOKS REAL GOOD.
“BOMBSHELL” WILL BE MY CHRISTMAS DAY MOVIE.

Speaking of movies, reports say there will be a sequel to the freaky smash hit “Joker.”  Director Todd Phillips bet on himself and did not take a salary, opting for money on the back end if “Joker” became a hit.  Word is Phillips will rake in about 100 million dollars for his work.

So for those who saw how the movie ended, how can there be a sequel?  There’s rampant speculation that all that happened in the “Joker” was all in Arthur Fleck’s twisted imagination.  We’ll see.

WAS EVERYTHING WE SAW IN “JOKER’ DREAMED UP IN THE TWISTED IMAGINATION OF ARTHUR FLECK?

So let’s review: Misbehaving bratty kid, smelly repair guy, hot actress, not so hot porn star & movie talk. O.K. I think I’ve covered all that’s on my mind.

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG- Remembering a magical night with Queen.

Other Things to be Thankful For…

As Thanksgiving approaches, we often think of what we’re thankful for.  Family, our health, warm home and good employment are often reflected on.  So this year I thought I’d go with a different list of things for me to be thankful for.  This is a small compilation of my life’s experiences working in radio, teaching and personal goings on that I’m grateful for.

So For These Things I am Thankful:

Over 25 years of experiencing the roar of the old Chicago Stadium crowd when a Blackhawk player scored a goal.

Getting to hug and kiss the Stanley Cup in 2010.

Sitting courtside while covering Bulls games for WLS in the mid-80’s and watching Michael Jordan’s early career wizardry.

Witnessing the attempted first Chicago Cubs night game at Wrigley on 8-8-88 from the roof top at Muprhy’s Bleachers.  (and many other games from there as well)

That my father got to hear the eulogy I wrote for him a few days before he slipped into a coma and passed away.

Being recruited and hired by Larry Lujack to produce his show back in 1985; then staying Lar’s friend until his passing in 2013.  

THE ‘GOLDEN JET’ BOBBY HULL WAS ONE OF THE GREAT BLACKHAWK PLAYERS WHO SCORED GOALS THAT MADE THE OLD CHICAGO STADIUM ROAR.

Seeing David Bowie act in “The Elephant Man” at the Blackstone Theater.

The songwriting of Hank Williams, Alan Jackson, Sammy Llanas, Brandy Clark, Pete Townsend & Tom Petty.

The fact that Ray Price singing “For the Good Times” still brings me to tears. 

The guitar mastery of Mark Knopfler.

The never changing singing voice of Don Henley.

The country soul of Vince Gill, Clint Black and George Strait.  Meeting all of them was also a huge thrill.  And yes, ditto for Garth Brooks.

Seeing Neil Young play a solo acoustic concert for a small gathering of fans at the Channel 11 studios.

SEEING DAVID BOWIE ACTING ONSTAGE IN “THE ELEPHANT MAN’ WAS AN INCREDIBLE AND MOVING EXPERIENCE.

How the lyrics to Steely Dan’s “Midnight Cruiser” always take me back to my teen years and all the fun I had with my friends.

My first time concert memories of Elton John, The Who, Queen, Springsteen and the Eagles.

Private encounters with Glenn Frey, John Mellencamp and Bruce Hornsby to name a few.

THE LYRICS OF “MIDNIGHT CRUISER’ BRING ME BACK TO MY TEEN AND EARLY 20’s. GREAT TIMES WITH THE BEST OF FRIENDS.

Surprising scenes in “Mad Men” like when Don Draper’s real identity is revealed and what happened next.

Being an early adopter of “The Seinfeld Chronicles” TV series which morphed into “Seinfeld.”

Masterfully  written movies like “The Godfather”, “Tender Mercies”, “Hannah and her Sisters”, “House of Games“ A Face in the Crowd” and “The Prestige” to name a few.

The touching eulogy scene in Waking Ned Devine, the Easter homily in “Chocolat” and the endearing words in a closing letter heard in the sorely underrated movie “Dean.”

The thrill of sitting in a dark movie theater watching previews of films I know little about yet, then seeing my movie.

DON DRAPER’S REAL LIFE GETS OUTED AND WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IS STUNNING.

The creative bond of music & comedy that helped form the special friendship I have with Al Flash. 

 The longtime ties of brotherly love I have with my pals Bobbo and Marko. 

Seeing the happy tears of relief from parents whose children have grown, developed and found a home at our school.

The beaming smiles of my students when they grasp a concept that seemed to be too hard to get before.

The excited calls of “Mr. Mick, Mr. Mick, Mr. Mick” I get from kids who want to add their feedback to a discussion we’re having on a lesson.

The hospital bedside farewell talk my grandpa Kahler and I had before he left us over 30 years ago.

THE BOND OF MUSIC, COMEDY AND CREATIVITY HELPED FORGE A GREAT FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN MYSELF AND AL ‘FLASH’ FLEISHMAN.

Happy Thanksgiving!

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG- Hitting To All Fields.

A Slew of Reviews

HELEN MIRREN AND IAN MC KELLAN ARE EXCELLENT IN “THE GOOD LIAR.”

It’s time to catch up to several things I’ve been raving about to anyone who’ll listen. Last weekend I saw “The Good Liar” starring Helen Mirren and Ian McKellan.  The story has a great script, aces acting and fun twists of suspense and trickery .  This is one of those movies I did not want to end.  This teacher gives it a B+.

ONE OF THE BETTER MUSIC DOCUMENTARIES IS THIS LOOK AT THE REMARKABLE AND DIVERSE LIFE AND CAREER OF LINDA RONSTADT.

The documentary “Linda Ronstadt: The Sound of My Voice” is another great watch. It’s narrated by Ms. Ronstadt with cool stories from peers like Dolly Parton, Emmy Lou Harris, Bonnie Raitt and Aaron Neville, plus former lover J.D. Souther, music entertainment mogul David Geffen and other associates.   

It’s amazing how everything Linda Ronstadt attempted in music was so well done and successful.  From singing pop and country hits for years to the success on Broadway in “The Pirates of Penzance”, big band recordings with Nelson Riddle plus she delved into her family’s Mexican roots with Spanish sung albums. 

Of course the downer of “The Sound of My Voice” is the revelation that Linda Ronstadt’s life has been compromised by Parkinson’s disease.  At the end of the movie there were many sniffles from folks in the theater and yes, I too had to wipe away some tears.   I gave this one a grade of an A.

If you don’t get a chance to see “The Sound of My Voice” (it will eventually air on CNN, who co-produced the project) then check out this link to a CBS Sunday Morning feature on Linda Ronstadt. 

One of my all time favorite country singer-songwriters is Clint Black and he just issued live album titled “Still Killin’ Time.”  The concert tracks find Clint in fine voice, thirty years after releasing his monster five hit singles debut album “Killin’ Time.”  Plus there are bonus tracks including “This Old House.” Black sings that one with help from artists Travis Tritt, Trace Adkins, Darius Rucker, Steve Wariner, Sara Evans, Dierks Bentley and Michael Ray. 

You can check out the video for “This Old House” here.

CLINT BLACK AND FELLOW COUNTRY STARS SING ON THIS NEW SONG ABOUT AN OLD HOUSE.
I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF THE COVER SONGS PERFORMED BY THE RANDOMLY ASSEMBLED SINGERS OF CHOIR! CHOIR! CHOIR!

I’m embarrassingly several years late to the prom for the phenomenon of Choir! Choir! Choir! Musicians Daveed Goldman and Nobu Adilman recruit masses of strangers together in various cities and get these instantly formed crowds to rehearse then sing classic rock and pop songs with chilling harmonic arrangements and interpretations. Tom Petty’s “Free Falling”, REM’s “Losing My Religion” and Patty Smith’s “Because the Night” are just a few of the songs you can catch on You Tube. However below is my favorite, as Talking Heads’ founder David Byrne sings the lead with help from a cast of many on David Bowie’s “Heroes.”    

ELTON JOHN’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY “ME” IS A FUN READ FOR E.J. FANATICS AND EVEN THE CASUAL FAN.

Last month Elton John released his autobiography “Me.” While a ghostwriter helped on this project, the stories are told through the large framed sparkly eyeglasses view of the former Reginald Kenneth Dwight turned pop and rock superstar Elton John. 

Being a longtime fan of Elton’s, much of what’s in the pages are tales I was familiar with.  Still, I found unknown to me pieces to Mr. John’s story like the personal insights to his failed 1984 marriage to a woman while being a gay man.  Elton also covers a more recent anecdote, his dealing with and subsequent defeat over prostate cancer.  There’s also an inside look at a failed attempt to do a duets concert tour with Tina Turner. It turns out Tina Turner can be quite the difficult artist!

PLENTY OF TRUTHS AND ANECDOTES ARE FOUND IN ELTON JOHN’S NEW BOOK.

Elton John’s sobriety is chronicled but this was the part of the book I felt a bit let down by.  He talks about what led him to Parkside Clinic at Lutheran General Hospital for treatment of alcoholism, drug addiction and bulimia in 1990.  However, I wanted to learn more about the physical and emotional challenges he went through when detoxing from booze and cocaine.  Elton makes it sound like his biggest problem in rehab was learning how to work a washing machine and accepting the program’s rules on phone usage.  Being a longtime addict he had to have gotten dope sick and gone through hell physically and mentally while in treatment.  We get none of that in the book. 

Still, “Me” is a real eye opener for any Elton John fan and more than worth the time to read.

PLAYING CHICKEN

Finally, there’s been all the hoopla over Popeye’s chicken sandwich that has had people fight and even kill over the damn things.  Last week I sampled one (after a 15 minute wait in a drive thru lane) and it was pretty darn good.  Three days later after getting some recommends for it, I checked out the chicken sandwich from Fry the Coop. Wow!  Bigger and meatier and just a couple bucks more than Popeye’s offering but much better!  I’m not into super spicy eats so I opted for the basic sandwich and fries. Next time I’ll ask for it plain with just mayo, because I don’t like having cole slaw or pickles on my sandwiches.   I teach at a school in Oak Lawn and live in Elmhurst and the two Fry the Coop locations are in those two towns!  How lucky can a guy get?

THE ‘FRY THE COOP’ CHICKEN SANDWICH IS THE BEST OF THE BUNCH THAT I’VE EATEN.

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG- Things to be thankful for.

A Marc Cohn Memory

I see that singer-songwriter Marc Cohn is coming to play Space in Evanston on November 12th and Chicago’s City Winery on November 13th.  Just another couple of concert stops for the guy who brought us the hit song “Walking in Memphis” but I have a fun story to share about Marc that goes back almost 30 years.

Back in 1991 I was producing the Murphy in the Morning Show on Q-101 and we had Marc Cohn booked to be with us the morning after his concert at the Park West.  “Walking in Memphis” was still on the Q-101 playlist but Murphy was concerned the guy might be kind of low key and not so entertaining on the air with us.  I went to see Cohn’s concert and could tell pretty quickly Murf’s worries were for naught.

COVER FROM MARC COHN’S SELF-TITLED DEBUT DISC.

In between songs, Cohn was engaging his fans with dry clever banter.  At one point he told the crowd this was his first time ever in Chicago. Then he said when arriving for the sound check that afternoon someone handed him one of those pink message notes titled “While you were away.”  After a pause, the fans  cracked up at the irony. 

Anyway, the message Marc Cohn got was a request from a man to dedicate a specific song to the guy’s girlfriend.  Cohn mentioned the woman’s name saying the next song was for her from her man.  Then he launched into the ballad “True Companion” which is a tailor made wedding proposal song.  As the melody started up, a young couple sitting right in front of me locked into a tight embrace with the woman nodding her head ‘yes’ and crying tears of joy.  She had just been proposed to with an assist from Marc Cohn! It was a really cool moment.    

After the concert I rounded up the couple and explained Marc would be on our show in the morning. I made arrangements to call their apartment when Cohn was on with us. We had a keyboard set up in the studio for the singer’s visit and after re-telling the proposal story at the Park West, he sang “True Companion” to the newly engaged couple live on the air. The bit went off really well.  It’s fun when circumstances fall together so seamlessly. I sometimes wonder if that happily betrothed couple is still married. I hope they still are each other’s ‘true companions.’

MARC COHN AND ME POSING FOR PICTURES AFTER HIS ON AIR GUESTING AT Q-101.

During his time on the show Marc Cohn seemed to as we imagined, a serious musician. Yet he surprisingly agreed to Murf’s request to twist up the chorus of “Walking in Memphis” and sing it on the air like this, “Listening to Murphy, listening and trying to win me some cash, listening to Murphy, but boy do I think that guy’s an ass.  He’s an ass.”

This is just one of many quaint little stories I experienced during my almost twenty years in Chicago radio.  A little fun and irony became a well crafted segment on the air. I’ll always remember the piano playing Cohn for being so appeasing to that young couple and such a good sport with us.    

Sadly, the loving you forever sentiment of “True Companion” didn’t pan out so well for Marc Cohn.  After having two sons with the woman he wrote that song for, there was a divorce. A couple years later he married ABC Network news anchor Elizabeth Vargas. Together they had two sons but ended their marriage in 2014 after Elizabeth’s third stint in rehab for alcoholism.  Besides his marital ups and downs, in August of 2005 while on tour in Denver,   Marc Cohn was shot in the head during an attempted carjacking. The bullet barely missed his eye and lodged near his skull.  Cohn was hospitalized for observation but released in less than a day.  The shooter was caught, convicted and sentenced to 36 years in prison.  Marc Cohn kept his wit throughout this ordeal saying doctors told him he was “The luckiest unlucky guy they had met in a long time.”

Take a listen to this classic wedding song from Marc Cohn.

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG: Reviews of 2 films, a song and a book.

Not Funny Jimmy!

LAUGHING AT A PRANK THAT MAKES KIDS CRY. UGH!

It happens every year, is about to happen again and it’s not something I like.  I’m talking about late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel’s annual airing of video clips of parents telling their children they ate all the kids’ Halloween candy. This year Kimmel’s show aired a rerun the day after Halloween but once again he asked parents to send in videos of them pulling this scam on their youngsters.

Thanks to the immediacy of social media, these videos are easily processed and this week we’ll be seeing more sad little faces in this stupid bit. The pranked kids, anywhere between the ages of 3 and 10, react as you would expect.  When learning their candy stash is gone they show puzzlement, shock and then the sadness kicks in. Next up we see showers of tears among audible cries of “No!  Why?  Waaaa!”

PARENTS TELLING THEIR CHILDREN THEY ATE ALL THE KIDS’ CANDY AND WATCH EM SOB. WHERE’S THE HUMOR IN THAT?

Yeah, Kimmel, that’s REAL comedy there pal.  Ugh.  Now let’s get one thing straight, I am a comedy fan. I’m far from humorless.  Just take a look at most of my Facebook posts and this blog’s website too.  Back in my in school days I was a wisecracking class clown and during my radio career I made my bones being a clever quipster, wacky thinker and occasional smart-ass. 

Needless to say, I dig funny.  However, telling children the candy they Trick or Treated for all day and night has been eaten by their parents is NOT funny.  It’s cruel and it pisses me off knowing there are idiots out there who take sick pleasure in this bit.  As much as I’m a fan of and occasional contributor to the WGN Morning News show, it’s disappointing that they replay highlights of Kimmel’s annual kids prank and they too laugh at it.  Larry Potash and Robin Baumgarten, you’re better than that.

“YOU ATE ALL MY HALLOWEEN CANDY? MOM, HOW COULD YOU?”

Young children are rightly brought up to trust their parents above everyone else.  Mom and dad or mom and mom or dad and dad are the guiding lights to their kids and to see parents take that light and turn it into an offensive laser beam of hurt blows my mind.  I know the ruse is a temporary one but why would anyone want to inflict this kind of pain on their own youngsters?  Kids will grow up to many disappointments and letdowns in their life and getting this faked out ‘the candy is gone’ shtick is totally unnecessary.

What amazes me further is a couple years ago Jimmy Kimmel’s wife gave birth to a son with a rare and serious congenital heart defect.   During this tough time Kimmel choked back tears on his show while talking openly about what his newborn baby named William ‘Billy’ John  was going through. There was eventually the good news that at three days of age baby Billy underwent successful surgery to correct the problem and all is well now.

JIMMY KIMMEL’S OWN SON WAS BORN WITH A HEART DEFECT AND YET HE ENDORSES PARENTS TEMPORARILY BREAKING THEIR KIDS HEARTS. SWELL.

So Jimmy Kimmel had a son with a serious heart problem and yet he’s encouraging parents to share videos as they break their kids’ hearts with news that their Halloween candy was gone and not to come back.  I just don’t get the logic.  I wish Kimmel would wise up and drop this annual scamming bit.  Comedy is a subjective art and everyone likes and laughs at different things. For me, the Halloween ‘candy is gone’ scam belongs in the trash along with old rotting pumpkins.

JIMMY KIMMEL’S “WE ATE THE KIDS’ HALLOWEEN CANDY” BIT IS AS ROTTEN AS THIS PUMPKIN.

NEXT WEEK’s BLOG– A fun concert memory.

My List of ‘Have You Ever?’

CHECK OUT MY SELF-CREATED LIST OF LIFE EXPERIENCE QUESTIONS.

On Facebook you often see people post up a survey checklist where you’re asked to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to specific questions about your life experiences.  The questions ask things like have you ever: Fired a gun, Ridden in an ambulance, Gotten a tattoo, Visited a foreign country, Sung Karaoke, Been scuba diving, etc. 

I guess these informal queries are a check to see what kind of life you’ve lived so far.  With all this said, I thought I’d pose some of my own questions.  So feel free to take my poll,.answer yes or no, and no cheating off your neighbor’s paper.

HAVE YOU EVER:

EATEN A WHOLE SLEEVE OF OREO COOKIES IN ONE SITTING?

DRIVEN DRUNK?

SNEAKED INTO ANOTHER MOVIE AFTER SEEING YOUR FILM AT THE CINEMA?

GIVEN THE FINGER TO ANOTHER DRIVER?

STOLEN SILVERWARE FROM A RESTAURANT?

EVER EATEN A WHOLE SLEEVE OF OREOS AT ONE SITTING?

PEED IN A PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL?

DONE THE WALK OF SHAME?

TALKED YOUR WAY OUT OF A TRAFFIC TICKET?

USED THE ACCOUNTS AND DESCRIPTIONS OF A TELEVISED GAME WITHOUT THE EXPRESSED WRITTEN CONSENT OF A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL CLUB?

NOT TIPPED A SERVER?

UH OH! LOOKS LIKE A POOL PEEING DUDE HAS BEEN BUSTED BY A URINE DETECTING CHEMICAL IN THE WATER!

CRASHED A WEDDING?

HAD AN INTER-OFFICE ROMANCE?

SHAVED OR TRIMMED YOUR ‘FUN ZONE’?

WISHED SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW DEAD?

HAD A POOP ACCIDENT IN YOUR PANTS AFTER CHILDHOOD?

“WEDDING CRASHERS” WASN’T JUST A MOVIE, SOME FOLKS HAVE ACTUALLY DONE THIS.

CHEATED ON A SCHOOL QUIZ, TEST OR EXAM?

LOOKED AT PORN ONLINE?

RE-GIFTED A PRESENT THAT WAS GIVEN TO YOU?

EATEN SOMEONE ELSE’S FOOD FROM THE WORKPLACE FRIDGE?

SWAM NAKED?

HAVE YOU EVER CHEATED ON A QUIZ, TEST OR EXAM? YOU’RE JUST CHEATING YOURSELF.

KEYED SOMEONE’S CAR?

QUIETLY FARTED IN A CROWDED ELEVATOR?

PAID FOR A LAP DANCE? (MALE, FEMALE, YOUR CHOICE)

AS AN ADULT, CRIED OVER YOUR SPORTS TEAM LOSING A GAME?

WATCHED AN ENTIRE EPISODE OF ‘KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS?’

OUCH! KEYING A CAR? THAT’S GONNA LEAVE A MARK!

FULL DISCLOSURE– I can answer “YES” to 20 of these 25 items. Which 20 I’ve done goes with me to the grave.  Sorry.

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG- A Halloween tradition I say ‘Boooo’ to.

York High School’s Class of ’79 40th Reunion

“Old days, good times I remember, fun days, filled with simple pleasures.” (Chicago)

My 40th high school reunion took place October 11th and 12th. I wanted to take a few days to gather my thoughts on what was a fantastic weekend hanging with my fellow Class of 79 pals.  

THIS IS THE NEWLY BUILT YORK HIGH SCHOOL. THERE ARE STILL SOME OLD PARTS OF THE FORMER STRUCTURE THAT ARE STILL AROUND, AND THE ECHOES OF THE CLASS OF ’79 ARE HEARD THERE.

First off, the entire reunion committee did an amazing job in getting the word out on the weekend’s events. For several months they planned this deal down to the smallest detail. Countless e-mails, phone calls, social media postings, in person meetings and more helped set the foundation for all Class of ’79 grads to feel welcome and enjoy meeting up with old friends from way way back.  Those committee folks were incredible!

The attending alumni are 58 years old now and this reunion was like a time machine peep show that showed the physical transformations we’ve all gone through.  Some of my peers barely changed at all!  Most of those who look young as ever were women but there were a few guys who appeared to be barely 25 years old. Either these folks have great genes and took damn good care of themselves or they pulled a Dorian Gray and traded their souls for youthful looks.  (I’d bet on the former and not the latter on that one) 

Me?  Yeah I’m much fatter than my younger days but have no facial wrinkles and retained about 70% of my hair, albeit gray, but it’s still there. I can still lose weight but spouting new locks only happens in fantasies and the offices of hair transplant doctor’s offices.

A MASS PHOTO OF THE CLASS OF ’79 REUNION ATTENDEES ON SATURDAY NIGHT. TOO MUCH FUN FOR ALL OF US!

Away from the superficial minutia, the two days of meeting, eating, drinking and laughs (lots of laughs) were a reminder of how lucky we were to know each other at York and often times for years before arriving to the home of the Dukes. Some of the friends there I’ve known since kindergarten and there was a great bond between many of us men who played in Elmhurst’s Little League Baseball program.  We all remembered what teams everyone else played on and those memories go back half a century!  Several former ballplayers remembered my pitching to be much better than it really was. So what’s wrong with the hands of time re-shaping history a bit, right?


MY FIRST LITTLE LEAGUE TEAM, THE ORIOLES. MARK FREDRIKSEN IS IN THE FRONT ROW 3RD ONE TO THE RIGHT, KEN ROHN IS IN THE SECOND ROW, 4TH ONE TO THE RIGHT AND THAT’S ME IN THE THIRD ROW, FIRST ONE ON THE LEFT.

Moving forty years past high school, all of us hit various milestones.  Marriages, divorces, kids, grandkids, knee and hip replacements and the passing of spouses were all covered.  Some alumni made changes in careers and appeared to be happy with their new paths taken.  I can tell you firsthand that it’s a blessing to have a ‘second act’ in life and who knows, maybe some of us have a third act to try as well.

On Saturday night, the most touching scene to take in was the photo display of classmates who’ve passed away.  After a requested moment of silence, classmate Father John Balluff read each deceased person’s name. There were gasps and stunned faces when the crowd heard of former peers who are no longer with us.  Father Balluff then offered a prayer for those departed and to those of us still here.  We’re all getting older and this was a sobering reminder.

REMEMBERING CLASSMATES WHO ARE NO LONGER WITH US. GOD BLESS THEM ALL.

Throughout the weekend I smiled when seeing all the warm embraces everyone was giving each other.  Of course the women are more open with their ‘happy to see you’ hugs and kisses, but we men were doing plenty of hugging it out too with each other. We’re talking about big bold bear hugs between men because after going through forty years of post high school life, simple firm handshakes or fist bumps just don’t seem to be enough.   

The best phrase I can come up with for this reunion weekend would be “Joyous Contentment.”  So many of the attending alumni glowed with remembering the days of high school and sharing with each other what’s gone on in their lives since graduation in June of 1979. There was plenty to cover!

It’s easy to equate our existence to the four seasons of each year. There are bright warm sunny days, rough dark storms and winters to endure and lots of adventures & misadventures throughout it.  What happens in the next ten years is anyone’s guess, but no matter what, those of us who are lucky enough to still be around will once again gather and laugh & remember the days we shared together in high school and beyond.

Until then I’ll wish my fellow former classmates the Irish word for ‘health’, Slainte!   

YORK’S SENIOR YEARBOOK FROM 1979

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG: Have You Ever?– A Checklist of Lifetime Achievements.

The Stink Over Ink

TATTOOS USED TO BE SO RARE AND REBELLIOUS. NOT ANYMORE!

There was a time, three or four decades ago when tattoos were considered a sign of rebellion and bold individuality.  The rarity of those with tats made it a big deal when someone got inked.  Cutting to the chase, nowadays tattoos are as common as Starbucks shops and Mattress stores. 

Truth be told, with so many men and women from age 17 to 77 getting tattoos, the real rebels are people like me who remain tat free.  Everyone else is a follower and tattoo art may be individualistic, the bottom line is an ink wearer’s rebellion and showing how cool they are falls short.

FULL DISCLOSURE: My niece Dei has several tattoos. While I would never get a tattoo myself, Dei’s inked skin does not make me love her any less.  She’s always dear in my heart and mind and always will be!

THIS IS WHAT A TRAMP STAMP CAN LOOK LIKE WHEN A WOMAN AGES. NICE EH?

So last week on Facebook I caught some flak for noting how a woman’s tattoo on her breast can in time not age so well.  My comment was “Today’s blooming rose on a young women’s breast is tomorrow’s wilted wed on an old lady’s stomach.” 

I was actually cited for shaming women. The issue a couple of Facebook acquaintances had being that I did not make any observations about men with tattoos that don’t age well.   I answer that by saying I could not care less what ink men get injected into their skin.  While not being a creepy stalker I openly admit to paying more attention to the looks of women than men.  This has nothing to do with homophobia. I fully support all men and women who prefer same sex lovers and relationships. It’s just that I prefer observing women over men.  So get over that!

AND YES, TATTOOS ON MEN DON’T AGE TOO WELL EITHER.

 Now on this ‘shaming’ accusation; I wasn’t shaming women.  I just voiced my opinion.  My opinion being that the female body is a thing of beauty and putting tattoos on it is akin to slapping a bumper sticker on a Ferrari.  We still live in a free country and are allowed to state our beliefs.  Just because my taste or opinion on a matter is in disagreement with how others feel does NOT make me a shamer!  

GETTING TATTOOS ON YOURSELF IS AKIN TO PUTTING BUMPER STICKERS ON A FERRARI.

This hyper-sensitivity people have on so many issues is really becoming a divisive problem in our culture. Social media is the wind that fans those misguided fires.  Today there appears to only be ‘lovers’ or ‘haters’ on topics and that kind of black and white thinking scares me.  We are at a point where if someone posts on social media how they “Didn’t like the new Taylor Swift song” there’s going to be a throng of backlash calling that person a ‘basher’, ‘hater’ or ‘shamer.’  Really? Are we that touchy?  And yes, Taylor Swift, I put a small bit of this touchiness blame on you.  “Haters are gonna hate”,.right?  Jeesh.  For the record, I’m an admirer of Taylor’s song “Lover” and 2016’s “Better Man”, the song she wrote for Little Big Town may be her best work ever.

GETTING THE WRONG TATTOO CAN ONLY ADD TO THE PROBLEMS OF BEING PERMANENTLY MARKED.

Years ago when many people fawned over the hilarity of the TV series “The Office”  I came up with a kinder way of being critical of it without getting nailed as a hater. Regarding “The Office” I said, “It’s not for me.” Using this phrase doesn’t mean I hate something or rue the day someone watched “The Office”or got a tattoo or anything that extreme.  Lighten up folks. So when the subject of tattoos comes up I can simply reply, “It’s not for me.”    

And just to show how I can end this tattoo issue with a smile and whimsical statement, here’s an old song from The Who that we can all enjoy.

“WELCOME TO MY LIFE TATTOO! I’M A MAN NOW THANKS TO YOU…”

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG– Reflecting on my 40th high school reunion.

Remembering An Awful Week 25 Years Ago

We all endure the losses of family members. My saddest times were in 1993 when my father died at the way too young age of 58, in 2009 when my mom suddenly passed from a heart attack and in 2014 when my sister Marianne succumbed after a long battle with an auto-immune disease of which there was no cure.  Those were the worst of times for me for sure.

However, there was a week in 1994 that affected me nearly as much as the death of my family members. It began on Monday October 10th when I learned my longtime friend Lee Swanson was in the hospital with a recurrence of cancer he’d beaten in 1982.  This time cancer won and Lee left us the very next day.  I was able to visit him that Monday for about ten minutes and in a dreamy semi-conscious state Lee knew I was there for him.  I later learned I was the last person to talk to him before he slipped into a final coma.

Long story short Lee Swanson was a mentor and friend to me since 1981.  He was a fellow media junkie, local music businessman and a pre-Google era search engine. Anything I wanted or needed to know about writing, radio, music or DJ-ing dances was provided by him. His wisdom and guidance as I pursued a career in professional radio was invaluable.  I often said Lee was Yoda to my Luke Skywalker and there is no way I would’ve ended up producing the Larry Lujack WLS morning radio show at age twenty-four without his help.  He was also the older brother I never had.  And now for the first time in over thirteen years I was without my touchstone, Luke had lost Yoda. I was beside myself with hurt and grief.

CIRCA 1987- ME, FELLOW SWANSON PROTEGE’ DAVE ROSS AND THE RED HEADED JEDI MASTER HIMSELF, LEE SWANSON. THIS PIC WAS TAKEN AT ROLLING STONES RECORDS.

At the time of Lee’s passing I was producing the JD & The Katman Morning Show at WUSN FM, known as US*99.  I knew JD & John ‘Katman’ Katzback for a few years before landing at their station. Since June of 1993 when I started there, John and I formed a tight creative bond doing show bits and having lots of fun on and off the air.  We had common sensibilities and cracked each other up constantly. Morning host JD Spangler used to say John and I were each other’s best audience. He was right!

On the same day of Lee Swanson’s death I gutted it out and attended a big radio station event that evening. I knew Lee would have wanted me to be there. We were celebrating the 5th anniversary of the JD & Katman show with a concert and party at Chicago’s Whiskey River country music bar.  Listeners had to win tickets to this private show that starred Joe Diffie who was all over the country music charts at the time.  When I arrived that night, John Katzback was the first one to greet me, offering his condolences on losing my dear friend Lee. It was John’s night to have fun and celebrate and he’s consoling my hurt.  What a guy and what a great night that was! 

However, on October 12th the afternoon after the hugely successful 5th Anniversary bash, I got a call at home from my Program Director Dean Mc Neil. Dean informed me John Katzback had been stricken at home with a suspected brain aneurism and things looked bleak!  I was beyond stunned. Just the night before John’s health crisis we were having a blast at the Diffie show and a couple hours before McNeil’s call we wrapped up another solid morning show; now this?  It happened but it was crazy and felt like a bad dream that turned out real.

While The Katman was being treated at a suburban hospital, I attended Lee Swanson’s wake and the next day his funeral.  A couple days later came the call that John Katzback had passed away.  John was an organ donor so several living people benefitted from his generosity; but we were without our co-worker and friend.  All of the US*99 employees and thousands of listeners were left speechless over his death.  The guy was only twenty nine, leaving behind his wife Leslie and a six month old baby boy named Max.  I’d never seen such a cruel twist of fate and burden thrown at a new mother and her infant son.

I’ll always first think of others who were so hurt by Lee’s and John’s passing. But still, in less than a week I dealt with the one two punch of losing one of my best friends in Lee Swanson and then a ‘brother in sound’ in John Katman Katzback. During this wickedly difficult time, I kept my faith in a greater being but I wasn’t sure if I could trust the cosmic powers that be.  This was a devastating situation and I was lost, kind of like a rudderless boat, adrift and unsure where I was going.

REMEMBERING JOHN THE KATMAN KATZBECK’S MANY GREAT SONG PARODIES WITH THIS ALBUM. JOHN LEFT US WAY TOO SOON AND I ALWAYS REMEMBER HIM FONDLY AND WITH LOTS OF LAUGHS AND SMILES.

So how does one get through such a crazy double dose of death? My solution was to become an ultra-social animal. I began dating three different women at the same time (one of whom I met at Lee’s wake) and also hung out with a couple of others, Dana and Sonja who were pals from my past.  My theory was ‘There’s strength in numbers and they can’t ALL die on me!’  I also huddled with my two oldest friends Bobbo and Marko who were great sources of support and kindness. My mother and sister were also there for me too. 

Throughout this new social whirl I remained numb with the hurt of Lee and Katman’s deaths just below my skin.  I kept wondering ‘Why them?’  Also ‘Why am I saddled with this double tap of loss?’  This sucks!

I ended that dating frenzy in early 1995 but it wasn’t until the spring of that year when I realized I had not yet processed losing Lee and The Katman.  I was too busy trying to avoid thinking about that grief.  It took me about four months after that to sort out my head and my heart.  This taught me a lesson to not put off dealing with the issues of loss.

So we’re twenty-five years past a truly awful week that I somehow got through. Some day things will come full circle and I’ll see Lee and John again. In spite of that difficult time in 1994, I know how lucky and blessed I am to have known them.  Special guys like Lee and John don’t come around every day and I miss them very much.

Here’s to better days and weeks for all of us.

Next Week’s Blog- A STINK MADE OVER BODY INK.