I haven’t posted blogs for three months. I’ve got plenty written but my new semester of teaching is so insanely busy (I’ll spare you the details for now) that until our winter break, just keeping my head above water is enough.
Still, I have something important to reflect on that I want to get out there. So here goes:
During last weekend’s coverage of the 20th anniversary of the 9-11 terrorist attacks, I caught Bruce Springsteen’s acoustic performance of “I’ll See You in My Dreams,” as he paid tribute to the thousands lost on that awful day and their surviving families and friends. That song comes from last year’s “Letter to You” album.
Despite being a longtime fan of Springsteen, truth be told, his last several albums just didn’t do it for me. However, “I’ll See You in My Dreams” is a song that HAS reached me! The video shows clips of deceased E-Street Band members Clarence Clemons and Danny Federici as well as modern day footage of Bruce and his band.
But it’s the lyrics that brought this one home to me, especially the line “I remember you my friend, and though you’re gone and my heart’s been emptied it seems, I’ll see you in my dreams.”
We’ve all lost people who meant so much to us. They are often remembered and there’s the pining and wanting for them to still be with us. Just one more day, one more dinner, one more get together, one more dance, one more laugh or one more hug.
Of my immediate family of four, I’m the soul survivor. My dad, mom and sister have been dead for years. All my grandparents, aunts, uncles and a cousin are long gone too. Add to this, the passing of no less than seven dear friends & co-workers who were as tight to me as family and the suicide of a former student who I closely worked with.
I miss every one of these individuals but often see them in my dreams, just like Bruce sings. The dreams of these departed ones come out of nowhere; I may not have thought of one of these individuals for a while and then boom! A dream rolls into my slumber and it feels like we’re together again.
You know how you have a great sleeping vision of wealth or other good things happening then you wake up depressed that it was just a dream? Well, when having my dreams of departed souls, I never wake up frustrated that what was experienced in my sleep was not real. This may sound a little cosmic but I see these dreams as visits. My dead family or friends come into my sleeping brain to say ‘Hi, all is well and hope you’re doing well too.” It’s a great feeling and one I welcome anytime it happens. I see them in my dreams and Springsteen’s song is a reminder of this to me and to others who grieve for lost loved ones.
A few years ago, actor Mark Ruffalo was asked how he got over the unsolved murder of his brother Scott. He said, you don’t get over it but you learn to live alongside it. I heard those words from Ruffalo on the very same day I was to give a eulogy for my dear departed sister Marianne.
That’s what I’ve learned to do, live alongside the passing of people who meant the world to me. And I take comfort in what Springsteen sings, “We’ll meet and laugh again, for death is not the end, I’ll see you in my dreams.”
SPRINGSTEEN’S SONG IS FITTING FOR ANY OF US WHO MISS THOSE WHO ARE NO LONGER WITH US.