Last weekend on my Facebook page I quoted an opening line to an old song. It’s something I sometimes do when a tune is whirling around my coconut. This time I posted the line “Well she’s all you’d ever want, she’s the kind I’d like to flaunt and take to dinner.” It’s the opening lyric to the Tom Jones oldie “She’s a Lady.” Seemed innocent enough and some Facebook pals chimed in on how they like that song and Tom Jones.
However, one person replied to my post by saying, “One of the most sexist songs in history.” Then this Facebook friend quoted the line ‘Well she’s never in the way, always something nice to say, she’s a lady.’
One slight phrase pulled from a song that’s fifty years old and it’s labeled ‘One of the most sexist songs in history.’ (Sigh) While I’m fine with people (myself included) being more ‘woke’ to sensitive issues and situations, this particular ‘sexist’ accusation is broke.
One thing to note, Tom Jones did not write ‘She’s a Lady’ (it was penned by Paul Anka) but Tom did make it a hit, his highest charted single.
So, let’s check out the rest of the lyrics of “She’s a lady.”
Lines like, ‘She’s got style, she’s got grace, she’s a winner.’ I see nothing wrong here. And to finish the ‘never in the way’ line, Jones sings “I can leave her on her own knowing she’s O.K. alone and there’s no messing.” Hmm, sounds to me like this lady is independent, self-assured and totally together. Nothing sexist there.
Then we move on to the words, “She never asks for very much and I don’t refuse her, always treat her with respect, I never would abuse her, what she’s got is hard to find and I don’t want to lose her, helped me build a mountain from a little pile of clay.” Yeah, real sexism here, right? Those lyrics pay tribute to someone who the singer treasures, honors and owes much of his success to. (Another sigh)
Let’s go further in the song. “But she knows what I’m about, she can take what I dish out and that’s not easy, but she knows me through and through and she knows just what to do and how to please me.” Here we have lines with the singer admitting he can be difficult but she can take it “and that’s not easy.’ This lady has relationship skills and strength. Again, I’m having trouble finding the sexism in words that pay homage to how special this woman is.
So, it is with good humor and a whimsical shake of my head, I reject that “She’s a Lady” is a sexist slur of a song. Folks, we all need to think things through and take caution in what we label as bad or cancelled or banished as poison. Almost any set of lines can be cherry picked to meet an agenda. Nothing is going to be perfect and just because part of a song or a joke or anything else doesn’t precisely fit into today’s standards and expectations doesn’t mean it’s a total disgrace. So let’s try not to paint everything with such a broad brush.
With all this said, it is not lost on me that Tom Jones, (now 80 years old) has been one of the most prolific womanizers in music history. The singer was married to his childhood sweetheart Linda for 59 years before she succumbed to a final battle of lung cancer in 2016. For whatever reasons, Linda Jones tolerated her husband’s mega-infidelity and he loved her for that and more. Tom’s wife’s death left him devastated and you would think he’s carrying some load of guilt for all his past indiscretions.
Full disclosure- back in the summer of 1998 I saw Tom Jones in concert at Chicago’s Vic Theater. The guy was incredible, belting out two sets of rock and R&B with his band; he practically blew the roof off the joint. If given the chance to see him again, I would.
So now we separate the blatantly unfaithful singer Tom Jones from a fun tune released in 1971 that is NOT the most sexist song in the world. And we leave it at that. Again, my only request is that anyone who wants to express agenda-based ideas to a song, movie, joke or written piece, stay away from cherry picking & nit-picking and relax a little. As the Eagles once sang, “Take it easy, don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.” (I threw in that line because I know the person who posted Jones’ song was sexist HATES the Eagles. LOL)
Next blog– Remembering songwriter Jim Steinman.