MICK KAHLER'S WORLD

Before I start Trouble’s tribute; since his passing let me say the outpouring of kind words, support and messages I’ve gotten from dear friends has been INCREDIBLE!  I’m overwhelmed and it shows how many special people are in my life. Good folks who aren’t afraid to show their caring for both me and my departed pal.  Several friends have offered to help when I’m ready to adopt another kitty or two. I will definitely keep those offers in mind when the time is right for me.

In late July of 2006 my mother and I adopted a shy one year old neutered domestic short haired cat.  We found him at the Du page Animal Shelter where his name was ‘Chase.’  It was a Saturday when we took in this fella and thanks to a senior citizen’s special that day, the adoption fee my mom paid was only one dollar.  I noticed the shelter’s staff seemed really giddy and happily surprised that their feline found a new family to live with.  The buzz around the place was “Chase is going home!  Chase is going home!”

We got the soon to be re-named kitty home and he quickly hid for the next day and a half. There was no sight of him until I lifted up our loveseat and discovered the little guy hiding up in the ticking of the couch!  I gently pulled our rescue kitty out of there, then hugged and kissed him. With that he seemed to relax and realize we meant him no harm. 

A minute later ‘Chase’ earned his new name by jumping on a shelf and knocking over a clock encased in glass. The timepiece smashed shards all over the place and the noise scared him enough to run atop the dining room table where he knocked over a coffee cup and a bunch of papers.  I turned to my mom and said, “This one’s gonna be trouble.”  We looked at each other and knew “Trouble” would be his new name.Truth be told, he never was much trouble after that.

All other cats we ever owned loved to spend time in our backyard but Trouble was more than content to sit on a window sill and look outside.  In the warm weather he liked to push his face against the window screens and try to mimic the chirp of birds in our front yard trees.  He was so cute doing that. 

Trouble had no problem getting along with the other cat in our house, our nine-year-old pure white kitty named Dudley.  On occasion, they would sit together on a desk and look out our front window.  When Dudley would go outside for short spells, Trouble would always watch him from the back bedroom window but never wanted to join his housemate in the yard.

After Dudley died in 2010, (and my mom passed the year before) it was just me and Trouble.  Trouble ate like the king of the house that he was.  I spoiled this guy with freshly grilled bacon, chicken, burger patties and when I cooked myself salmon, guess who got about half of that fish?  Trouble!

When I’d come home from being at school all day, Trouble would run to the back door to greet me and meow for a snack. He almost always got a treat.  I’ve often said our pets don’t live long lives so let’s make them good lives.  In the summers or the weekends, when I’d take a nap, I’d often wake to find Trouble nuzzled between my shoulder and neck.  He’d be happily snoozing away.

In the fall of this past year, my furry friend started to slow down.  He slept more and was less active as arthritis came into play.  Still, Trubs ALWAYS loved having under his chin rubbed and could purr for days while I petted him. 

As I’ve been through the decline of health in other pets over the years, I knew when it was time to help Trouble cross the Rainbow Bridge. I may have even waited a couple days too long.  Trubs was calm, quiet and at peace as he passed and my heart broke.  The help and support Trouble and I got from the Elmhurst Animal Care Center was nothing short of amazing.  Those folks are true angels! 

Right now, is the first time in 58 years that I do not have a dog or cat living in my house. Will I get another kitty in the future?  Yes.  I might look to adopt two at once so they can be pals.  But for now, I just need to absorb this hurt and be grateful for the 16 ½ years I had with the sweetest little fella I could ask for.

So long Trouble.  I love you and will never forget all the joy and companionship you brought me.  And I hope the food at the Rainbow Bridge is as good as you deserve!

The festive holidays are in our rearview mirror but here’s a little extra gift. It’s something to spark your interest in my upcoming media memoir “Raised on the Radio.” 

Setting up this excerpt: It’s a recollection of some of the perks I experienced when producing major market radio shows in Chicago.  Lots of fun was had and at little expense to me…

EXTRAS, FREEBIES AND GUESTLISTS Seeing movies, concerts and ballgames was how most of my free time away from radio was spent. The money I paid out for newspapers, books, magazines, cable TV and cell-phone bills all got written off as tax deductions because they were related to my job as a radio producer. Carefully tracking expenditures throughout my time in radio, I used to joke that my whole life was one giant tax write-off. 

Good seats at concerts were regularly available and rare was the time I had to pay for my tickets.  I got friends of mine and ladies I dated into plenty of big shows.  One of the best parts about seeing these shows was enjoying the reactions from whoever I took to the show with me.  Sitting 5^th row center for free at a Rolling Stones concert was wild and my good buddy Bobbo got as big a thrill out of it as I did.  There was the time I treated my friend Bernie to special lounge suite seats with drink service for a Moody Blues concert at Poplar Creek.  He was a longtime fan of the band and when they launched into “Tuesday Afternoon” Bernie had tears in his eyes as he thanked me for such a memorable happening.

My favorite places to see concerts in Chicago were the smaller venues like the Riviera, The Vic, Park West and House of Blues. These theatres had the best sound and sightlines. I was often able to get what I called ‘The Lincoln Seats’ in these places. Those were the ones on the raised level to the side of the stage in a private box.  I’m just glad I never encountered a bitter John Wilkes Booth at those shows. One time at a Wang Chung concert at the Riviera, I saw some attractive models sitting in a nearby balcony box. They were REALLY hot.  In fact, these women were so hot they tore off their bras from under their tops and slingshot them onto Wang Chung’s stage.  Next, these ladies flashed their bare breasts to the band. I thought to tell them this was not Mardi Gras in New Orleans and there were no cheap plastic beads to earn, but why spoil their fun?   

The “He’s So Cool” factor for concert freebies might be the kick for some people but I appreciated the convenience. No standing in line or going online for tickets, plus VIP parking made life much easier. For me, sitting in skyboxes or other preferred areas never got old. And if a freebie that I wanted wasn’t offered, a quick phone call would be made and usually it was, “Yes, we can put you on that guest list.  No problem. See you there!”

Looking back on all the extras that were there for the taking, I think of Ray Liotta talking about the gangster life in “Good Fellas” when he said, “For us, to live any other way was nuts.” 

That was my life in radio for a long time and I loved every minute of it!

2022 is wrapping up and 2023 approaches. So, here’s my personal look back and a look ahead.

SCHOOL– This year was the usual adventure at our therapeutic day school as we saw two more of my seniors graduate in May and three students transitioned to improved placements.  For 2023, I have three more seniors set to graduate and another kiddo who can be done after summer school.  Our new principal has been fantastic and while the first semester of this school year was chippy (with some rowdy fighting students) all is getting better within the population.  And our staff, especially my assistant Miss Cat, is aces up.

HOME IMPROVEMENTS- Adding to my freshly built front steps, I had a new walkway to the steps installed and a new all white vanity brightened up the bathroom. My landscaper did a great job keeping my yard looking good and I appreciated his hard work.  For 2023 I’m getting new back steps, a new side door to the garage and I’ll patch up and re-seal my driveway.

MOVIES- There wasn’t a lot to see on the big screen in 2022 but I did enjoy “Top Gun 2: Maverick”, “Where the Crawdads Sing” and “Elvis” to name a few.  “Elvis” got me to fully appreciate what a great and important song “If I Can Dream” was and remains.  For 2023 one movie of interest would be “Cocaine Bear” and for a goof maybe the “Barbie” film starring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling will be worth seeing next July. 

SONG PARODIES– Al Flash and I had several more music videos played on the Channel 9 Morning News, with all of them being were very well received.  Robin Baumgarten’s engagement to Mr. X proved to be fertile ground for us to exploit.  Robin is aware we know the identity of Mr. X but until she reveals who the guy is to the world, we still have one final tune and video on hold but ready to air.  2023 will start off with another of our year in review videos done to the melody of Lil Nax X’s “Old Town Road.” 

DENTAL FIX-UPS- An eleven year absence from a dentist’s chair yielded five cavities in my pie hole. Even my dentist was impressed my teeth didn’t have more issues.  For 2023, I learned my lesson and will see Dr. Fornatto, every six months.  My next appointment is in mid-March.

WAKE-UP CALL- The deaths of five men I knew (four of whom were former classmates) was a stunner.  Three of them were in what was believed to be in very good health yet they dropped dead from heart attacks.  My summer physical showed improvements in my own health but I can do better and am working on it now and for 2023.  Summer swimming was great as I got up to over a mile a day in laps at East End Pool. Getting back into the water at the Courts last month has been a small beginning to better health.  Like I said, I can do much better and need to do much better. 

BOOK IT! I know you’ve heard this before but my media memoir, “Raised on the Radio” has gone through its final, final edit!  Jim Libovicz, a very astute literary man and my friend for 55 years, did a great going over on the eighty-one thousand word manuscript.  Now I need to line up some photos, get a cover and roll it on to Amazon as an E-book.  I hope to get it out by May.  Maybe “Raised on the Radio” will be the beach read for the summer. 

So that wraps up 2022.  It was a pretty decent year for me, no, make that a damn fine year with more blessings and good things than I can count and that’s a lot.

 I wish all of you a Happy Hanukkah, Happy Festivus, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa and a Happy New Year to all!

NEXT BLOG- Not sure when (mid-January?) and about what. Stay tuned!

When talking about music with others, on occasion the question will come up, ‘Which do you like better the Beatles or the Rolling Stones?”  My answer is always The Who.  Yep, The Who, without question.

As a fan since 1970, I first saw the band in concert back in 1979 (minus the late Keith Moon) then again in 1980.  So, when Pete Townsend and company announced their 1982 “Farewell Tour”, I was all in to see them live.  I saw all three shows they played at the Rosemont Horizon with the best of those concerts being the final Chicago area gig on December 8^th.

But the band wasn’t done with their farewell road run.  The final gig was set for Friday December 17^th at Toronto’s Maple Leaf Gardens.  It was a pay per view event that would be simulcast on radio stations across the U.S.

Needless to say, me and some close pals, also fellow Who fans, Bobbo, Marko, Willie, Pross and some others wanted to watch this concert from good ole Elmhurst Illinois.  Bobbo got his father, who was always tinkering with electronics, to come up with an unscrambling device so we could watch the pay per view event without paying.  Don’t ask me how that gadget was put together because I barely know how a can opener works.

Since the concert was to be simulcast on one of Chicago’s local rock radio stations Bobbo asked me to bring my kick ass stereo (with great Klipsch Heresy speakers) to his house so we could blast up the sound while watching the show.  That afternoon I hauled over all the audio gear and we set it up in his house’s rec room. I brought along my stereo cassette recorder with two new ninety minute Maxell high quality tapes so we’d have an audio keepsake from the concert.

That night the guys came over to Bobbo’s. There were cold beers to drink and as showtime approached we tuned in to a TV test pattern, nervously waiting to see if Bobbo’s dad’s video thievery gadget would work. It did and the show was on! We slipped through the technological cracks. We hijacked The Who! Way to go Mr. C!

Opening with “My Generation” and rocking for twenty-four more songs, The Who was in fine form, probably relieved that their cross-country long goodbye was wrapping up that night. Townsend, Roger Daltrey, John Entwistle and drummer Kenny Jones even played one of my favorite lesser known Who songs, “Naked Eye” along with the fun and rousing “Squeeze Box.”  The encore closed out with Entwistle howling out the rock n roll oldie “Twist and Shout” and I remember all of us singing along at the top of our lungs to it too. 

It was such a fun night. We were all care free as the start of our college winter vacation kicked off in proper rocking fashion.  After the concert ended, we went to Elmhurst’s popular watering hole Oscar’s for more drinks.  I brought along the freshly recorded cassettes of the show and got the bar staff to play a bunch of cuts on their house sound system.  I still have those audio cassette tapes and they still sound great.

That pay per view (without paying) night with the hi-jacked Who happened forty years ago.  Forty years ago, we were all so young, full of hopes and dreams of what would happen to us through the rest of college and beyond.  The good news is Bobbo, Marko, Willie, me and the others on hand that night are still around; healthy, happy, some of whom are retired.  You can’t ask for much more than that.

Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey are what remains of the original four band members. While The Who so famously sang, “Hope I die before I get old”, they got old but they’re still touring.  Thanks for all the music guys and some great memories too!

NEXT BLOG- A personal review of 2022 and a look ahead to 2023.

5:30 – 8:00 a.m. I woke up at 5:30 a.m. (that’s my usual time) fed Trouble some roast chicken and fixed myself a bowl of Cheerios with milk and blueberries.  Ate that while online checking emails and updating my Facebook post for the day.  Next, I watched the first 90 minutes of CBS Saturday Morning. Saw a cool feature on a wild animal preserve with beautiful lions, tigers and other big cats who’ve been abandoned by assholes. Also, an interesting interview with director Darren Aronofsky whose new film “The Whale” comes out next Friday.  I look forward to seeing that one, featuring Brendan Fraser in a comeback role.

8:00 – 12:30 a.m.  Headed to the Courts Plus for a swim but saw the parking lot was packed and decided to delay that and gas up my car for the week.  I used a rewards card from BP Amoco and filled up at the station in Villa Park.  After that my car went dead!  No power, no revving, nothing! This problem came out of nowhere. The towing service I called didn’t answer but there was a tow & repair place right next to this gas station.  One of the guys came over and gave my car a needed jump for 40 bucks.  (Saved me on a pricey towing fee) I brought my ride over to JMS Auto in Elmhurst, owned by my friend Jeff Durante.  That’s where I always get my car worked on and it turns out my dying battery was still under warranty so in 15 minutes time Jeff and his crew loaded me up with a new battery (no charge) and I was out of there.  Jeff refused any money for the labor work.  He’s the best!

I swung back to the Courts Plus and the early work-out people were leaving in droves. Got a great parking spot then hit the pool for a thirty-lap swim. Thirty laps are my minimum in the pool, with more laps to come.

 Next, I spent time in the dry sauna having an interesting chat with a woman named Olga from Ukraine as we talked about diets and exercise.  She’s married with her husband often away since he works for the U.S. Department of Defense.  Olga shared the benefits of what a vegan diet has done for her, her son and her husband. She wasn’t pushing this animal product free eating plan on me (some vegans annoy others doing that) but it was interesting to hear how she thrives on that daily diet.  Yet, I have friends who are total 180’s as they live healthy lives eating beef, eggs, whole milk and other animal products. 

A hot shower followed and I got home to make a supplement drink. Then watched what I saved on my DVR including “My 600 Pound Life” and NBC Today Show Saturday which had a wild report on a ten year old Picasso-like artist who’s selling his paintings for 6 figures!  That feature will be shown to my students on Monday.

Sorry soccer fans but I missed the U.S. loss in the FIFA Tournament.  (Soccer is not my thing)

 12:30 – 6:30 Spent time on my PC editing the annual year end wrap-up parody song Al Flash and I send to the Channel 9 Morning News.  Each year we do it to the melody of the Lil Nas X hit “Old Town Road.” The 2022 review tune looks to be a fun one.  

Next, I started reading and outlining notes for “Winter’s Bone,” a book we’ll be reading in English class come January.  I know the story well and hope to show the film when we finish reading that 200 page book.  “Winter’s Bone” is one of my favorite movies from the last 20 years.

6:30 – 11:00 p.m.  Cooked two lean meat burgers with pickles for dinner and wrote up quiz questions for the first half of “Winter’s Bone.”  Had “Gone Girl” on TV while I worked.  I also chatted on Facebook instant messenger with a couple of friends. Last, I swept & mopped the kitchen before tuning in to SNL and hitting the sack. 

I know what you’re thinking; “What a wild and carefree life of excitement you lead.”  Well, somebody’s gotta do it, why not me?

NEXT BLOG- The night we hijacked The Who.

Lots of thoughts rolling around my coconut so let’s crack it open and let em out.

THE RECENT CMA AWARDS- This year’s show was a damn good one with a healthy return to more traditional twangy country songs led by up and coming star Lainey Wilson.  The Willie Nelson Lifetime Achievement Award went to Alan Jackson with the musical medley well played.  Alan’s part of that stretch of songs was great and his acceptance speech was heartfelt and perfect. 

THE ROCK N ROLL HALL OF FAME INDUCTION CEREMONY– That 4 hour commercial free event is running on HBO right now.  Lots to take in.  The influence of MTV was apparent with the inductions of early video stars Duran Duran, Pat Benatar & husband Neil Giraldo and Eurhythmics. Forget the pretty boy tag Duran squared got labeled with years ago, the music still holds up.  A personal favorite of mine would be their early 90’s comeback song “Ordinary World.” Benatar sings at a lower pitch nowadays but still sounded great.  Plus, she wears gray hair well. Giraldo’s acceptance speech was full of grace and great advice to young people.  Eurythmics (Annie Lennox & Dave Stewart) have not recorded or toured in over 20 years but they didn’t miss a beat.  Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp honored the late Jerry Lee Lewis with “Great Balls of Fire” which was well framed by E Street piano ace Roy Bittan shining bright on the keys.  “Great Balls” is a rowdy crowd pleaser but bear in mind John Lennon used to say the greatest rock n roll song of all time was Lewis’ “Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On.”

ON THE SUBJECT OF AWARDS-  In the past week, two of my dear pals were nominated for special honors.  Jim Turano has been given a nom as Best Performer in a Play in the recent Invictus Theatre production of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”  Voting for that honor closes out on 12/31/22.  You can cast a vote at this website. https://www.broadwayworld.com/chicago/voteregion.cfm

And my longtime US*99 compadre Trish Biondo has been nominated to become a member of the Country Music Hall of Fame!  This is due to Trish’s long years in the country genre and although she’s no longer on the radio, Trish remains a well respected and admired figure in country music.  We’ll find out if she gets in come next year.

GO DUKES!  The York High School varsity football Dukes deserve big props for their magical season of twelve wins and just one loss.  They fell one game short of going to the championship match-up but captured the hearts and attention of not only their classmates but alumni from years ago.  It was fun this year driving by York Stadium during home games and seeing the stands packed guts to butts with fans on hand to watch these young men play football.

LOSS AND NEAR LOSS– I was stunned to learn of the unexpected passing of my old college radio station manager and classmate Mark Gruhlke.  Mark died on October 31st from an undetected heart issue.  Strangely enough I was actually THINKING of Mark on Halloween this year as I recalled a fun time I had at a costume party he held at his parents house 40 years ago.  I’ll share more thoughts on Mark in a future blog. 

Former “Friends” star Matthew Perry was interviewed by Bill Maher this week as he talked up the best selling book about his years long and near fatal drug addiction.  The guy’s colon exploded and he was given less than a 5% chance to survive.  As Maher pointed out, it’s so easy to die and yet the human body can also show such remarkable resilience.  Thinking of Mark Gruhlke and Matthew Perry, that sure is true.

MISC. STUFF-

*I have a confession to make.  I cannot tell the difference between actresses Olivia Wilde, Olivia Munn and Olivia Culpo.   There, I feel better saying that.

**Season 2 of “The White Lotus” is fun to follow but something nutty better be happening in this social satire series between Harper played by Aubrey Plaza and Cameron played by Theo James. 

***The popularity of the Netflix series based on cannibal killer Jeffrey Dahmer makes perfect timing for the new film “Bones and All” which comes out this week.  This movie is about two cannibalistic lovers.  I’ll pass.  When it comes to humans eating humans, my plate is full.  Pun intended.

****One movie I am interested in is the reported comeback of actor Brendan Fraser in “The Whale.”  Fraser plays an obese and reclusive English teacher trying to reconnect with his estranged teenage daughter.  “The Whale” swims into theaters on December 9^th. 

Here’s a murky yet intriguing preview of that movie.

Here comes actor Brendan Fraser’s comeback movie.

NEXT BLOG– I’m not sure what’s next. Stay tuned.

“Operator, please connect me with 1982.”

That’s the opening line to a great old country song by Randy Travis.  It’s fitting.  Not too long ago, while having beers with my brother like pal Marko Vasko we got to talking about all the things we saw happen in 1982. Some of our milestones from that year matched up identically and others were of our own individual experiences.  1982 was FORTY years ago, and yet some of what went down seems like it happened just yesterday.

1982 is the year that brought us landmark movies like “E.T.”, the gender bending “Tootsie” and the teen horn-dog romp “Porky’s.”  This was also the year when the mysterious Tylenol murders were happening as random bottles of the pain reliever were laced with poison that killed several innocent people.  That still unsolved case led to safer ways to package not only over the counter medicines but thousands of food products as well.

Here are some of what was going on in my life from that year. The summer of 1982 is when a former high school classmate of mine, Lori Borowski was kidnapped as she tried to open the local real estate office where she worked.  Missing for several months, Lori’s body was eventually found.  Her twisted killers did some kind of satanic mutilation of her and they were all caught and brought to proper justice.  While I did not personally know Lori Borowski, I knew others who did and seeing a contemporary of ours murdered shook me to the core.

In more cheerful happenings, 1982 was the very first time I ever visited Poplar Creek Music Theater as me and Dave Potter enjoyed pavilion seats and rocked out to an Elton John concert with opening act Quarterflash. (Remember them?)  The Clash’s popular “Combat Rock” album hit stores that summer and me and several pals went to see the band play an incredibly intense concert at the Aragon Ballroom.  Joe Strummer, Mick Jones and company blew the roof off the joint that hot August night!

The Who brought us the “It’s Hard” album along with their first ever “farewell tour.” I was lucky enough to catch their three shows that fall at the Rosemont Horizon.  The last one happening near the tour’s end in December which was the best of the trio of gigs.

1982 also saw the release of REM’s debut record, a great EP titled “Chronic Town” which began my love for that band.  And I can’t forget Bruce Springsteen’s stark “Nebraska” record which remains my favorite Bruce album.  I love it because its raw, bare bones recording was as close as I’ll ever get to having Springsteen play a solo show in my living room.  The songs on “Nebraska” are dark but they tell true to life stories.

Earlier in 1982, I enjoyed a Spring Break trip to Daytona Beach with college classmates.  That wild party week saw me and some others run afoul of the law on a misdemeanor drinking on the beach issue.  The judge withheld adjudication of that charge which kept my criminal record clean.  That was also the week I first got to know a woman in the Biblical sense.  A lovely 30 something bartender named ‘Candy.’  My experience with Candy is best summed up by the 1986 BoDeans song “That’s All.”

In late June of 1982 my sister Marianne married her first husband Gary O’Brien.  Sadly, less than two years later Gary would succumb to a recurrence of cancer. This tragedy left my only sibling a widow at age 26.

In January of 1982 we adopted a rescue dog named Molly.  Molly was a dynamic Boston Terrier and helped cement the idea that Bostons are the best pure breed of dogs ever!  September of that year is when my dear pure white kitty Miss Priss died of old age. Not long after that, our house was recharged with a schnoodle puppy named Minnie who was the sweetest pooch we ever had.

That fall while attending Elmhurst College and thriving on the air at the school’s radio station WRSE, I began a side gig of D.J.-ing on campus weekend dances in the campus cafeteria.  Many of these were for the school fraternities and sororities. My rate of pay was 25 dollars cash for 3 hours of being the record spinning life of the party.  I also recall a couple of romantic hook-ups happening for me at those gigs and a year later my pal Jim Turano would join me for several years of doing dances all over the western suburbs.

Thanks to the urging of my high school friend Rob Dicker, I began writing a weekly local music column for Press Publications.  Rob was a photographer for that newspaper chain and he suggested the idea to his editor, who asked me for a sample writing and boom!  I was a local music columnist for the next three years before passing that writer’s pen on to Jim Turano.

Finally, I can’t let 1982’s happenings go without recalling the most significant occurrence I had that year.  It was meeting and being carefully mentored by Lee Swanson.  Lee was a former record store, rock club owner and rock band manager who was the western suburbs’ best known music and media mogul.  Lee was Yoda to my Luke Skywalker and over the next 12 years he taught me more than I could ever write down on a list.  To put it bluntly, without Lee’s tutelage, I NEVER would’ve landed at WLS am 89 as Larry Lujack’s producer at the age of 24.  Lee has been gone for 28 years now and he remains someone I’ll never forget and will always be grateful for his knowledge, guidance, kindness and friendship.  

There you have it.  1982 was an action and event packed year filled with some vital highs and a few lows.  

Forty years ago and I loved every minute of it…

A month ago, I attended a memorial for Barry, a friend I knew through my closest pal Bobbo. Barry and Bobbo became close when they were on the same bicycle racing team for years. The memorial was held at a craft brewery as one of Barry’s passions was sampling various specialty beers whenever possible.  The first time I met Barry was many years ago on a car ride up to Summerfest in Milwaukee.  He and I just clicked talking about music, movies, sports and more.  Bobbo’s wife Tammi was with us and commented how quickly and easily we bonded.  

Barry had a fatal heart attack while out on a bike ride.  Some might say he died doing what he loved but being just a couple years older than me, his leaving this world was way too early.  It really didn’t matter what Barry was doing when he was stricken, leaving behind a wife and two teenage daughters just ain’t right.

So fast forward to the last week.  Meeting up with three different sets of friends, I learned of the deaths of five other contemporaries.  Two of those deaths occurred a couple years ago and I was just learning of the news now. These were guys who I knew well back in grade school and high school.  I played sports with a couple of them and knew the others from being in classes together.  I hadn’t talked to any of them in years but had fond memories of the times we spent together.

As sad as their passings were and are, two of them I learned died due to long battles with alcoholism.   I’ve known other classmates who succumbed the same way but it’s still a shock to learn how an addiction can grab someone so hard that they can’t break free and it becomes their cause of death.

I’m at the age (61) where passings of my former classmates are becoming more common.  I remember my 40^th high school reunion three years ago.  They held a memorial role call of those in the York class of 1979 who were no longer living.  Some of the names read stunned the hundreds in attendance.  I heard many audible gasps and there were tears streaming down some faces. 

I often quote a line the late great Harry Caray used to say when he’d talk about the passing of some notable at a younger age.  Harry would comment, “Live now, it’s later than you think.”  True enough.

So where does this leave me?  This summer I had a good report back on my annual physical. Some weight was lost (plenty more to go there) and all blood panels, heart rate and blood pressure, etc. are all good.  I can thank my good parental and grandparental genes for much of that. 

But like anyone else, I could go at any time.  Stroke, heart attack, aneurism, car crash, shooting, freak accident, etc.  Anything can happen to any of us at any time.  So, I keep learning to appreciate every day above ground that much more.  Heck, Barry’s passing shook my dear pal Marko so much that he’s altering his retirement plans so that he can enjoy more of the life he has left. 

I’m so sorry to learn of those guys I knew way back when who are no longer living.  It’s sobering news and makes me think of the words spoken by Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption.  “Get busy living or get busy dying.  That’s Goddamn right.”  Duly noted.

I’ll close off this post with a song from Clint Black. He wrote and recorded it almost 30 years ago and it’s as true now as it was back then.

NEXT BLOG- Remembering a busy 1982.

Recently I did some binge watching of TV shows, a couple of docuseries and caught some new movies on demand.  I also took time to re-watch a film I hadn’t seen since it came out in the summer of 2002.   I’m talking about the coming of age movie “Tadpole.”  This was a very low budget, off the beaten path feature and that was in spite of it co-starring  known names like Sigourney Weaver, Bebe Neuwirth, John Ritter and newcomer Aaron Stanford in the title role.

How low budget was “Tadpole”?  According to Wikipedia, the whole tab to make this 78 minute movie was only 150,000 dollars!  The payback was the movie earned over three million dollars.

“Tadpole” covers the Thanksgiving weekend adventures of fifteen-year-old Oscar Grubman (played by Stanford).  Oscar is home from prep school and has the hots (in a respectful manner) for Eve, his step-mother. (Weaver) He admits this to his prep school buddy Charlie (Robert Iler from ‘The Sopranos) who awkwardly tries to help his friend. 

Oscar is book smart but not in an obnoxious way and speaks fluent French as his birth mother is French.  This character puts on the demeanor of a kid much older than his teen years but his four days home in New York City reveals he still has plenty to learn.

Oscar’s father (John Ritter) is a writer of deep think books who appears to be clueless in connecting both with his son’s maturation into manhood and his wife’s seeming lack of interest in anything but her work in a medical lab.  Bebe Neuwirth plays just turned forty Diane, Eve’s best friend, who admits that turning forty leaves her tired yet she finds time to play and be playful.

Sharing any more plot of such a short film, would be unforgiveable.  “Tadpole” is subtly clever, funny and touching.  I think it resonated with me because like Oscar Grubman, I’ve always had an appreciation for women older than me.  It was more than a sexual thing, just as it is with the fifteen year old ‘Tadpole’. From my teens til my mid-twenties I figured women in their thirties and forties had more wisdom and knew more of who they were than the girls my age.  

“Tadpole” features insightful quotes from Voltaire that are interspersed at just the right times in the movie.   The use of the wistful Simon and Garfunkel song “The Only Living Boy in New York” which is ably covered by the group Everything but the Girl” was also appreciated.

“Tadpole” is a fun to watch small movie.  While not a new version of “The Graduate” (Oscar is still in high school) it’s more than worth your click in on demand and the four dollars it will cost you. You’re welcome!

“I turned on the radio and a voice came over sweet and low and I didn’t know the tears were gonna start, what amazed me even more is I’d never heard that song before but somehow I knew each word by heart.”    (“Three Chords and the Truth”- Sara Evans

This music memory I have isn’t about those lyrics but for a different tune.  But the circumstances of me driving and hearing an unfamiliar song and how it impacted me, mirror exactly what Sara Evans wrote. 

In the early spring of ‘87 I began my first serious adult relationship.  Her name was Holly and for ten months we had something very special going on.  Then there was a break-up over trust issues we both had. 

For the next year Holly and I were off and on.  We’d get back together for short spurts then split off again.  Holly was more experienced in relationships than I and not to start a pity party for me but she treated our split up as ‘just another thing that happens, no big deal.’ She was pretty casual about the whole deal.

I remember my parents asking if she broke my heart and my answer was, if not broken, certainly seriously injured.  Still, I felt there was a chance for us to have a ‘happily ever after’ ending.  Maybe things could work out, maybe. 

Then over time I realized this wasn’t going to happen.  Holly and I were through and I was looking back at the relationship with loads of regret and hardboiled bitterness.  I also had zero interest in moving on and dating other women.  To quote J.Geils, “Love Stinks.”

So then in late June of 1989 I was still carrying these sour feelings until one night when I turned on my car radio.  Returning home from a WCKG radio station movie screening for “Honey I Shrunk the Kids” I dialed into the national radio show “Rockline.”  This weekly music program featured well known acts who would be interviewed live and share new music they were releasing.

The “Rockline” guest that night was former Eagle Don Henley and he was talking up his new album “The End of the Innocence.”  The title track sounded like a surefire hit but it was another song that really got to me.

It was a cut titled “The Heart of the Matter”, a song that covers the subterfuge of a broken relationship and the moving on that both parties resolve to do.  The chorus roped me in and changed my emotional direction for good:

“I’m trying to get down to the heart of the matter but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter but I think it’s about forgiveness, forgiveness, even if, even if you don’t love me anymore.”  

Wow!  Hearing these words for the first time over my Toyota Celica car radio was a freaking epiphany.   Then things got even better with these lines-

“There are people in your life who’ve come and gone, they let you down, you know they hurt your pride. You better put it all behind you, baby, ’cause life goes on. You keep carrying that anger, it’ll eat you up inside.”

It was as if Don Henley & co-writers Mike Campbell and the great JD Souther were tuned into my head. With this five minute song they cleared up my issues.  It was like a baptism.  The regret over my relationship with Holly instantly disappeared.  So did the bitterness, the anger and the hurt. They were washed away and replaced with the wisdom of moving on and to stop allowing myself to be ‘eaten up inside.’  What a relief this was.  I found what I was looking for, simple and sane closure to a love that was over.

I’ve been to several Don Henley solo concerts and when introducing “The Heart of the Matter” he tells the crowd, “This song took 42 years to write and about 5 minutes to sing.” Songsters write what they know. Henley, like all of us, had been through these kinds of downs in relationships yet he found redemption.  And he helped me find that redemption and reckoning. 

Anytime that old song is played, I think back to that car ride in 1989 when I first heard those lyrics.  My guess is this track is one Don Henley probably gets the most thanks from his fans. I’d like to meet him some day to ask that very question, and also to thank him for reaching me that night and every time since then when I hear “The Heart of the Matter.”

NEXT BLOG: A small movie recommendation.